Ml-of-a-Sudden  Peggy 


>T  DENNY 


FRENCH  STANDARD  UBHARYEOmO» 


SAMUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  St.,  New  York 


MRS.  PARTRIDGE  PRESENTS 

Comedy  in  3  acts.  By  Mary  Kennedy  and  Ruth  Ha~w- 
thorne.  6  males,  6  females.  Modern  costumes.  2  interiors. 
Plays  2%  hours. 

The  characters,  scenes  and  situations  are  thoroughly  up-to- 
date  in  this  altogether  delightful  American  comedy.  The  heroine 
is  a  woman  of  tremendous  energy,  who  manages  a  business — as 
she  manages  everything — with  great  success,  and  at  home  pre- 
sides over  the  destinies  of  a  growing  son  and  daughter.  Her 
struggle  to  give  the  children  the  opportunities  she  herself  had 
missed,  and  the  children's  ultimate  revolt  against  her  well-meant 
management — that  is  the  basis  of  the  plot.  The  son  who  is  cast 
for  the  part  of  artist  and  the  daughter  who  is  to  go  on  the  stage 
offer  numerous  opportunities  for  the  development  of  the  comic 
possibilities  in  the  theme. 

The  play  is  one  of  the  most  delightful,  yet  thought-provoking 
American  comedies  of  rerent  years,  and  is  warmly  recommended 
to  all  amateur  groups.  (Royalty  on  application.)  Price,  75  Cents. 


IN  THE  NEXT  ROOM 

Melodrama  in  3  acts.  By  Eleanor  Robson  and  Harriet 
Ford.  8  males,  3  females.  2  interiors.  Modern  costumes. 
Plays  2^4  hours. 

"Philip  Vantine  has  bought  a  rare  copy  of  an  original  Boule 
cabinet  and  ordered  it  shipped  to  his  New  York  home  from  Paris. 
"When  it  arrives  it  is  found  to  be  the  original  itself,  the  pos- 
session of  which  is  desired  by  many  strange  people.  Before  the 
mystery  concerned  with  the  cabinet's  shipment  can  be  cleared 
up,  two  persons  meet  mysterious  death  fooling  with  it  and  the 
happiness  of  many  otherwise  happy  actors  is  threatened"  (Burns 
Mantle).  A  first-rate  mystery  play,  comprising  all  the  elements 
of  suspense,  curiosity,  comedy  and  drama.  "In  the  Next  Room" 
is  quite  easy  to  stage.  It  can  be  unreservedly  recommended  to 
high  schools  and  colleges.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.) 

Price,  75  Cents. 


SAMUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York  City 
Our  New  Descriptive  Catalogue  Sent  Free  on  Request 


ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN 
PEGGY 

A  LIGHT  CO  MED  Y  IN  THREE  A  CTS 


BY 

ERNEST  DENNY 

Author  of  "Man  Proposes,"  "Vanity,"  "The  Irre- 
sistible Marmaduke,"  "Just  Like  Judy,"  etc. 


COPYRIGHT,  1910,  BY  SAMUEL  FRENCH,  LIMITED 


All  Rights  Reserved 

CAUTION: — Professionals  and  amateurs  are  hereby 
warned  that  "ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY,"  being 
fully  protected  under  the  copyright  laws  of  the  United 
States  of  America,  and  the  British  Empire,  is  subject  to 
a  royalty,  and  anyone  presenting  the  play  without  the 
consent  of  the  owners  or  their  authorized  agents  will  be 
liable  to  the  penalties  by  law  provided  Applications  for 
the  professional  and  amateur  acting  rights  must  be  made 
to  Samuel  French,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York,  N.  Y. 


NEW  YORK 
SAMUEL  FRENCH 

PUBLISHER 
26  WEST  45TH  STREET 


LONDON 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  LTD. 

26  SOUTHAMPTON  STREET 

STRAND,  W.C.2 


1  All- of -a- Sudden  Peggy" 
All  Rights  Reserved 


Especial  notice  should  be  taken  that  the  possession  of  this 
book  without  a  valid  contract  for  production  first  having  been 
obtained  from  the  publisher,  confers  no  right  or  license  to  pro- 
fessionals or  amateurs  tto  produce  the  play  publicly  or  in  pri- 
vate for  gain  or  charity. 

In  its  present  form  this  play  is  dedicated  to  the  reading 
public  only,  and  no  performance,  representation,  production, 
recitation  by  amateurs,  public  reading,  or  radio  broadcasting 
may  be  given  except  by  special  arrangement  with  Samuel 
French,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York. 

This  play  may  be  presented  by  amateurs  upon  payment  of  a 
royalty  of  Twenty-Five  Dollars  for  each  performance,  payable 
to  Samuel  French,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York,  one  week 
before  the  date  when  the  play  is  given. 

Professional  royalty  quoted  on  application  to  Samuel  French, 
25  West  45th  Street,  New  York,  N.  Y. 

Whenever  the  play  is  produced  the  following  notice  must 
appear  on  all  programs,  printing  and  advertising  for  the  play  : 
"  Produced  by  special  arrangement  with  Samuel  French  of 
New  York." 

Attention  is  called  to  the  penalty  provided  by  law  for  any 
infringement  of  the  author's  rights,  as  follows: 

"  SECTION  4966  : — Any  person  publicly  performing  or  rep- 
resenting any  dramatic  or  musical  composition  for  which 
copyright  has  been  obtained,  without  the  consent  of  the  pro- 
prietor of  said  dramatic  or  musical  composition,  or  his  heirs 
and  assigns,  shall  be  liable  for  damages  thereof,  such  damages, 
in  all  cases  to  be  assessed  at  such  sum,  not  less  than  one  hun- 
dred dollars  for  the  first  and  fifty  dollars  for  every  subsequent 
performance,  as  to  the  court  shall  appear  to  be  just.  If  the 
unlawful  performance  and  representation  be  wilful  and  for 
profit,  such  person  or  persons  shall  be  guilty  of  a  misdemeanor, 
and  upon  conviction  shall  be  imprisoned  for  a  period  not  ex- 
ceeding one  year."— U.  S.  Revised  Statutes  :  Title  60,  Chap.  3. 


Originally  produced  at  the  Duke  of  York's  Theatre,  Lon- 
don, on  Tuesday,  February  27,  1006;  and  afterwards  at  the 
Bijou  Theatre,  New  York,  on  Monday,  February  n,  1907. 

The  following  is  a  copy  of  the  first  night's  programme: 

On  Tuesday  evening,  February  27,  at  8.30  o'clock,  Charles 
Frohman  will  present  "ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY,"  a 
Comedy  in  Three  Acts.  By  Ernest  Denny. 

ANTHONY,  LORD  CRACKENTHORPE Mr.  Eric  Lewis 

(Fellow  of  the  Entomological  Society) 
THE  HON.  JIMMY  KEPPEL Mr.  Gerald  du  Manner 

(His  brother) 
MAJOR  ARCHIE  PHIPPS  (retired) Mr.  Alfred  Bishop 

(Lady  Crackenthorpe's  brother) 

JACK  MENZIES Mr.  Charles  Bryant 

PARKER Mr.  Clayton  Greene 

(Footman  at  Hawkhurst) 
LUCAS Mr.  Richard  Haigh 

(Manservant  at  Jimmy's  flat) 
LADY  CRACKENTHORPE Miss  Kate  Serjeantson 

(Lord  Crackenthorpe's  mother) 

THE  HON.  MUJJCENT  KEPPEI, Miss  Beatrice  Beckley 

THE  HON.  MRS.  COLQUHOUN Miss  Ethel  Matthews 

MRS.  O'MARA Miss  Florence  Wood 

(Widow  of  Professor  O'Mara,  F.  R.  S.) 

and 
PEGGY Miss  Marie  Tempest 

(Her  daughter) 

ACT     I.    "  THE  SUDDENNESS  OF  PEGGY." 

The  White  Hall  at  Hawkhurst,  Lord  Cracken- 
thorpe's Country  House. 

ACT   II.    "  THE  SUDDENNESS  OF  CONSEQUENCES." 

At  Jimmy  Keppel's  Flat  in  London,  a  week 
later. 

ACT  III.    "THE  CONSEQUENCES  OF  SUDDENNESS." 

The  White  Hall  at  Hawkhurst,  on  the  evening 
of  the  same  day. 


21 1 51  rtl 


The  original  cast  of  the  American  production  of 
the  play  at  the  Bijou  Theatre,  New  York,  on  Mon- 
day, February  n,  1907,  was  as  follows: 

ANTHONY,  LORD  CRACKENTHORPE.  .Ernest  Stallard 

THE  HON.  JIMMY  KEPPEL Frank  Gilmore 

JACK  MENZIES Addison  Pitt 

PARKER C.  A.  Chandos 

LUCAS .John  Marble 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE Kate  Meek 

THE  HON.  MILLICENT  KEPPEL Jane  Marbury 

THE  HON.  MRS.  COLQUHOUN Ann  Warrington 

MRS.  O'MARA Ida  Waterman 

and 
PEGGY Henrietta  Crosman 


ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY 


ACT  I. 

The  Scent  is  the  Hall  at  Hazvkhurst,  LORD  CRACKEN- 
THORPE'S  Country  House,  in  Surrey. 

Backing  of  trees  seen  through  window. 
Door~ 


J 


r 

\ 
B 

SUira 

£ 

D 

tinder 

Balcoay 


I    Win  '.ow 
under  Balcony 


Archway 


Balcony 


Ch«lr 

n 

T.ibto 

n  O  n 

Ciialr  Cuuir 


PLAN  OF  SCENE  FOR  ACTS  I.  AND  III. 

N.B. — The  above  Staircase  and  Balcony  are  not  essential,  and  for 
Amateur  performances  one  simple  archway  opening  at  back  can 
be  substituted,  with  narrow  platform  (two  steps  up  from  stage) 
to  suggest  landing,  with  exits  R  and  L  as  below: — 

Window 
I  I 


r 

Exit 


I 

Exit 


Door 


Archway  Opening 

Fa'Diture  Arranged 
as  a  bora 


\ 

Fire- 
PUice 


6  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

The  Hall  is  furnished  comfortably  like  a  room,  with 
antique  furniture.  Folding  doors  into  outer 
lobby,  R.  Big  old-fashioned  fireplace,  L.  (with 
high  fender),  over  which  is  a  long  shelf  of  old 
books.  The  staircase  curves  round,  as  shown 
in  sketch,  and  ends  in  landing,  from  which 
there  is  an  exit  through  an  archway.  A  big 
mullioned  window,  with  leaded  panes,  on  land- 
ing, and  another  under  landing,  which  lights 
the  Hall  itself.  On  both  are  stained-glass 
armorial  bearings.  A  back-cloth  of  trees  and 
garden  are  seen  through  these  windows.  Rugs 
and  skins  on  the  floor,  and  a  suit  of  armor  at 
foot  of  stairs.  Settee  and  table,  c. 

(When  the  curtain  goes  up,  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE 
is  discovered  nodding,  on  the  settee.  She  is  a 
severe,  elderly  lady  with  white  hair  and  a 
prominent  "  Duke  of  Wellington  "  nose,  and  a 
hard,  haughty,  unsympathetic  manner.  Enter 
MILLICENT  KEPPEL  through  folding  doors,  R. 
She  is  a  fresh,  healthy-looking  girl  of  twenty. 
She  has  a  bag  of  golf  clubs.) 

MILLICENT.  (As  she  bursts  into  the  hall)  Has 
Jimmy  come  yet?  (She  goes  up  and  throws  her 
golf  clubs  down  with  a  clatter  in  corner  up  R.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Waking  with  a  start 
and  looking  round  at  MILLICENT)  Good  gracious ! 

MILLICENT.  (Still  up  stage  pulling  off  gloves) 
Why,  mother,  you  don't  mean  to  say  you  actually 
dared  to  go  to  sleep? 

(Enter  PARKER  through  upper  door,  L.  He  is  in 
livery  and  carries  a  silver  tray,  on  which  is  a 
plate  covered  with  a  silver  dish  cover.  He 
crosses  R.  to  stairs,  in  front  of  MILLICENT.) 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  7 

MILLICENT.  (Coming  down  c.  and  pointing) 
Why,  where  are  you  taking  that,  Parker  ? 

PARKER.  (Stopping  R.  near  foot  of  stairs  and 
turning)  To  his  lordship's  study,  miss. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Rising)  Oh,  there 
must  be  some  mistake,  Parker.  Lord  Cracken- 
thorpe  can't  have  ordered  anything  to  eat  at  this 
time  in  the  afternoon. 

PARKER.  (Stiffly)  Beg  pardon,  my  lady,  but  this 
is  not  anythink  for  'is  lordship  to  eat, — leastwise,  I 
presoom  not,  my  lady. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Then  why  that  dish 
cover  ? 

MILLICENT.  (Crossing  R.  to  PARKER  and  going 
to  lift  cover)  Yes,  what's  underneath? 

PARKER.  (With  an  immovable  face)  A  spider, 
miss. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  MILLICENT  both  give  a 
startled  cry.) 

MILLICENT.  A  spider?  (Shrinking  back.) 
Ugh  !  Take  it  away !  Take  it  away ! 

LADY     CRACKENTHORPE.       A     spider? 
There?    .    .    .    What's  the  meaning  of  this,  Parker? 

PARKER.  The  under  'ousemaid  found  it  in  'er 
second  'elping  of  pudding  in  the  servants'  'all,  my 
lady.  This  is  'er  plate,  my  lady. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  What?  .  .  .  Then 
take  it  back  to  the  kitchen  at  once. 

PARKER.  Beg  pardon,  my  lady,  but  we  'ave  strict 
orders  to  take  all  spiders  we  find  to  'is  lordship's 
study,  my  lady,  an'  this  is  an  unusual  large  one,  my 
lady,  otherwise  the  under  'ousemaid  might  have 
swal — er — mightn't  'ave  noticed  it,  my  lady. 

(MILLICENT  laughs  and  turns  up,  and  takes  off  her 
hat  and  jacket  and  puts  on  table  at  back.) 


8  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (With  a  slight  shudder) 
Oh,  very  well,  if  those  are  Lord  Crackentliorpe's 
orders.  (Sits  on  settee,  L.) 

PARKER.     They're  his  strict  orders,  my  lady. 

(He  goes  up  the  stairs  with  great  dignity,  holding 
the  silver  tray  and  contents  in  front  of  him, 
crosses  landing  at  head  of  stairs  and  exit  L.  ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Irritably)  Oh-h-h! 
Anthony  and  those  wretched  spiders  of  his !  What 
possessed  him  to  take  up  such  a  weird  hobby  ?  He'd 
never  have  got  into  the  clutches  of  these  O'Mara 
people,  if  he  hadn't. 

MILLICENT.  (Coming  down  to  table  c.,  sud- 
denly) By  the  way,  I  suppose  Anthony's  alone, 
mother  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Oh,  yes,  he's  safe,  for 
the  moment. 

MILLICENT.  Oh,  then  Peggy  O'Mara's  out? 
(Sits  sideways  on  table  c.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Yes,  thank  Heaven,  and 
her  mother  too.  Do  you  think  I  should  have  ven- 
tured to  go  to  sleep  if  they  were  inf  (Groaning.) 
Oh,  it's  like  living  on  the  edge  of  a  volcano. 

MILLICENT.  (Laughing)  It's  more  like  sitting 
on  the  top  of  one,  to  prevent  it  going  off. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Groaning)  Since  those 
awful  O'Maras  came  to  stay  in  this  house,  I — well, 
I  can't  breathe  properly,  in  anything  but  a  tea- 
gown.  (Rises  and  crosses  agitatedly  to  fireplace.) 

MILLICENT.  (Sliding  off  the  table)  Well,  then, 
I  should  have  a  couple  of  frocks  let  out  a  bit,  if  I 
were  you,  mother, — just  for  days  when  the  "  vol- 
cano "  is  unusually  fizzy,  don't  you  know. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE,  (Turning  sharply) 
Millicent,  how  can  you  be  so  flippant  when  any  mo- 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  9 

ment  I  may  be — be  turned  into  a  dowager.  (  Groan- 
ing.) Oh,  if  only  Anthony  had  been  a  girl! 

MILLICENT.  (With  a  wicked  little  chuckle)  Yes, 
he'd  never  have  known  the  difference.  (Shaking 
her  head  at  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.)  It  was  really 
rather  careless  of  you,  mother.  (She  turns  and 
goes  up  to  window  at  back.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (Severely)     Millicent! 

MILLICENT.  (Looking  out  of  window)  Oh, 
here's  Uncle  Archie.  (Laughs  and  turns.)  He 
doesn't  seem  to  object  to  Peggy  O'Mara.  You 
should  have  seen  him  with  her  on  the  golf  links  this 
afternoon. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  What?  (Indignantly.) 
And  he  was  supposed  to  be  keeping  his  eye  on  An- 
thony. Oh-h-h !  There's  no  trusting  Archie  where 
there's  a  petticoat. 

MILLICENT.  (Coming  down,  laughing)  Oh,  he'll 
make  out  that  it  was  (Imitating.)  "  all  for  the  good 
o'  the  fam'ly,"  just  you  see  if  he  doesn't. 

(Enter  MAJOR  ARCHIE  PHIPPS  through  door  down 
L.  He  is  a  tall,  well-preserved,  aristocratic  ex- 
cavalry  officer  of  55.  He  has  a  prominent 
"  Wellington  "  nose,  and  wears  a  white  droop- 
ing cavalry  moustache,  and  his  grey  hair  is  dis- 
tinctively thin  on  the  top  and  carefully^  arranged 
to  cover  as  much  as  possible.  He  is  smartly 
dressed  in  tweeds,  a  tightly  fitting  tail  coat, 
rather  tight  trousers,  and  wears  white  spats,  a 
single  eyeglass,  and  a  square-topped  grey  felt 
hat.  He  has  been  a  "  dog  "  in  his  day,  and  still 
is  jaunty  and  rakish.} 

ARCHIE.  (Looking  round)  Oh!  so  Jimmy's  not 
turned  up  yet.  (Putting  hat  and  stick  on  hatstand 
down  R.)  No  fresh  developments  while  I've  been 
off  duty, — what  ? 


io  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

MILLICENT.  (Leaning  over  table  c,  quizzically) 
"  Off "  duty,  Uncle  Archie,  you  looked  as  though 
you  were  on  duty,  with  Peggy  O'Mara,  this  after- 
noon. 

ARCHIE.     (Completely  taken  aback)     Eh — what? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Severely)  How  could 
you  go  out  with  that  girl,  Archie  ? 

ARCHIE.  (Taking  cheroot  from  case,  a  little  con- 
fused and  guilty)  Eh — what?  .  .  .  W-well, 
dash  it  all,  I — er — well, — it  was  all  for  the  good  o' 
the  fam'ly,  Charlotte,  'pon  my  soul  it  was. 

MILLICENT.  (Laughing  and  clapping  her  hands) 
Ha!  ha!  ha!  What  did  I  say? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sharply  to  ARCHIE) 
Rubbish !  How  could  it  be  ? 

ARCHIE.  (Lighting  cheroot)  Why,  don't  ye  see, 
I — I  was  just  keepin'  her  out  of  Anthony's  way,  un- 
til Jimmy  came.  Abs'lutely  part  of  our  plan  o'  cam- 
paign. 

MILLICENT.  (Sharply)  Why,  what's  that? 
.  .  .  What's  Jimmy  got  to  do  with  Peggy 
O'Mara? 

(ARCHIE  and  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  exchange 
glances  and  at  that  moment  the  "  toot "  of  a 
motor-horn  is  heard,  off.) 

ARCHIE.  Hello,  by  Jove!  That'll  be  Jimmy,  I 
should  think. 

(MILLICENT  turns  and  runs  to  window  at  back,  fol- 
lowed by  ARCHIE.  ) 

MILLICENT.  (At  window,  looking  out)  It  is, 
on  Jack  Menzies'  motor. 

(She  waves  her  hand,  and  rushes  across  and  off 
through  hall  door  R.  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE 
sits  on  settee.) 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  n 

ARCHIE.  (Glancing  at  door,  and  coming  down  to 
LADY  CRACKENTHORPE)  I  say,  I  suppose  you'll 
tackle  Jimmy  about  this,  Charlotte  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Well,  seeing  it  was  your 
idea,  Archie,  I  think  it  would  come  best  from  you. 
Besides, — well,  this  is  not  a  very  nice  scheme  of 
yours,  you  know. 

ARCHIE.  Eh,  what?  Oh,  come,  Charlotte,  when 
we're  in  a  tight  place  like  this,  we  can't  stick  at 
trifles;  besides,  well — it's  all  for  the  good  o'  the 
fam'ly. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Drily}  Not  forgetting 
yourself,  Archie. 

ARCHIE.  Eh?  (Pulling  his  moustache.}  Yaas, 
yaas,  of  course.  (Hastily  glancing  at  door.}  By 
the  way,  speakin'  of  myself,  Charlotte,  you  don't 
happen  to  have  a  spare  fiver  about  you,  do  you  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE,  What,  again,  Archie? 
(Sighing.}  What  is  it  now? 

ARCHIE.  Well,  ye  see,  I  want  to  run  up  to  town 
this  afternoon — to  (He  avoids  her  eye,  and  puffs 
his  cheroot.} — to  see  my — er — my  dentist. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sceptically}  H'm! 
That's  the  third  visit  to  your  "  dentist "  in  a  fort- 
night. 

(ARCHIE  avoids  her  eye,  coughs  and  puffs  his  che- 
root furiously.} 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Warningly}  You'd 
better  persuade  Jimmy  to  help  us,  Archie.  If  that 
O'Mara  girl  does  catch  Anthony,  it's  good-bye  to 
Hawkhurst  for  both  you  and  me,  and  then  you — 
(Drily.}  well,  you'll  have  to  find  a  less  expensive — 
dentist. 

(Motor  is  heard  fust  outside  R.  and  PARKER  enters 
L.  and  crosses  to  folding  doors  R.,  and  goes 
out,  and  voices  are  heard  in  the  hall,  off  R.) 


12  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

JIMMY.  (O^)  Yes,  that's  my  bag,  Parker- 
come  in,  Jack.  (Enter  JIMMY  KEPPEL,  he  is  a 
bronzed,  good-looking  man  of  about  35.  He  is 
wearing  a  tweed  suit  and  a  light  overcoat  and  cap, 
and  is  very  dusty.  He  is  followed  by  JACK  MEN- 
ZIES, a  young  man  about  JIMMY'S  age,  who  comes  in 
talking  to  MILLICENT.  PARKER  follows  carrying 
suit-case,  which  he  places  on  chair  L.  of  writing- 
table  at  back.} 

ARCHIE.  (Cheerily  to  JIMMY)  Hullo,  had  a 
good  run  down?  (Shakes  hands  with  MENZIES.) 

JIMMY.  (Taking  off  overcoat  and  giving  it  to 
PARKER)  'Bit  too  much  dust.  (Crosses  and  kisses 
LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  lightly.}  Well,  mater,  here 
I  am,  according  to  orders.  (Then  crosses  to  MILLI- 
CENT above  table  and  kisses  her.}  Well,  Milly,  old 
girl,  how  are  you? 

(JACK    MENZIES    crosses   L.    to    LADY    CRACKEN- 
THORPE.) 

JACK.  How  d'you  do,  Lady  Crackenthorpe  ? 
(Shakes  hands.} 

JIMMY.  (Putting  his  foot  on  chair  L.  of  table  c. 
and  dusting  his  boot}  Well,  what's  all  this  about 
Anthony,  mater? 

(ARCHIE  and  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  exchange 
hasty  glances,  and  ARCHIE  looks  up  at  ceiling 
and  either  sings,  softly,  or  whistles,  a  snatch  of 
a  song.} 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Hastily  turning  the  con- 
versation} Oh — er — how's  your  uncle,  Mr.  Men- 
zies? 

JACK.    Just  about  the  same,  thanks. 

JIMMY.  (Dusting  his  clothes}  He  always  is, 
worse  luck ! 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  13 

MILLICENT.  Jimmy,  you  mustn't  say  such  dread- 
ful things. 

JIMMY.  You'd  say  a  long  sight  more  dreadful 
things  if  you'd  to  chuck  away  your  best  years  on  a 
rotten  tea  plantation  in  Ceylon,  as  I  have,  when  I 
might  have  a  comfortable  shop  at  home  here,  but 
for  that  miserly  old 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.    Hush,  Jimmy! 

ARCHIE.  (To  JIMMY)  Buck  up,  my  dear  feller. 
Jack'll  see  you  get  that  land-agent's  billet,  all  right. 

JACK.  (Crossing  R.  to  JIMMY  and  patting  him  on 
back)  Jimmy  knows  that.  Directly  I  come  into 
the  property,  I'll  cable  for  him  to  come  the  next  day. 
(Slight  pause,  ARCHIE  sings — or  whistles — again 
and  looks  at  ceiling.  JACK,  looks  round.)  Well,  I'll 
be  movin'.  (To  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.)  Just 
goin'  to  motor  over  and  see  the  old  man  as  I'm  so 
near,  Lady  Crackenthorpe ;  and,  besides,  I  see  you 
all  want  to  talk. 

OMNES.     (In  polite  protest)    Oh,  no,  no! 

ARCHIE.  Not  a  bit,  my  dear  feller,  don't  hurry, 
—(Moving  hastily  to  door  R.)  er — shall  I  let  you 
out? 

JACK.  (Crossing  R.)  No,  don't  move  anybody, 
I'm  coming  in  on  my  way  back.  Sha'n't  be  long. 

JIMMY.  Good  man!  (JIMMY  follows  him  to 
door,  and  exit  JACK  after  a  general  nod  to  every- 
body. JIMMY  stands  watching  him  off  at  open  door. 
ARCHIE  crosses  to  back  of  table  c.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Turning  to  JIMMY) 
Well,  so  you  got  my  letter,  Jimmy? 

JIMMY.  (Turning,  laughing)  'Should  think  I 
did.  'Funniest  thing  I've  heard  for  a  long  time. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  starts  and  frowns  at  him  in 
surprise. ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Coldly  and  severely) 
Did  you  read  all  my  letter,  James  ? 


14  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

JIMMY.  Lord,  yes.  (Chuckles  again  and  sits  on 
chair  R.  of  c.  table. ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Then  can't  you  realize 
what  is  taking  place  ? 

JIMMY.  Well,  I  can't  realize  it,  but  you  say  this 
Miss  What's-her-name — Peggy  O'Mara,  is  running 
old  Anthony  to  earth, — what  ? 

MILLICENT.  (Sitting  on  table  above  JIMMY) 
No,  Jimmy,  it's  her  mother  who's  doing  it,  /  say. 

JIMMY.  But,  look  here.  I'm  a  bit  puzzled.  An- 
thony doesn't  usually  allow  women  within  ten  feet 
of  him. 

ARCHIE.  Ah,  but  that's  the  danger ;  these  are  sci- 
entific women,  my  dear  feller,  that's  the  devil  of  it. 

JIMMY.  Where  did  he  pick  'em  up?  .  .  . 
Who  asked  'em  down  here? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Anthony  invited  them, 
himself,  and  as  it's  his  house,  I  had  to  back  up  his 
invitation,  of  course, — besides,  I'd  never  seen  them, 
and  now 

ARCHIE.  They're  here,  and  (Spreading  out  his 
hands.) — here  we  are ! 

JIMMY.  (Ironically)  Jove!  How  you  do  grasp 
things,  Uncle  Archie.  (ARCHIE  glares  at  him 
through  his  eyeglass  and  turns  up  stage,  huffily. 
JIMMY  rises  and  crosses  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE 
and  lays  his  hand  on  her  shoulder. )  Well,  of  course 
it's  jolly  rough  on  you,  mater,  having  to  clear  out, 
but — men  will  marry.  There's  no  stopping  'em. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  But  Anthony  is  not  like 
other  men. 

JIMMY.  (Chuckling)  No,  by  Jove,  you're  right 
there.  Anthony — well,  Anthony's  unique. 

(Enter  ANTHONY  on  landing  at  back.  He  is  a  man 
of  about  40,  with  an  odd,  lanky,  awkward  fig- 
ure, a  pale,  gaunt  face,  and  a  tousled  head  of 
mouse-colored  hair — one  tuft  sticking  straight 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  15 

up  behind.  He  wears  pince-nez,  and  an  extra- 
ordinary mixture  of  clothes,  altogether  present- 
ing a  grotesque  figure.  He  cocks  his  head  at 
an  angle,  comically,  as  he  peers  through  his 
glasses,  and  has  an  abruptly  jerky  manner  of 
speaking,  and  an  occasional,  sudden,  unexpected 
laugh.) 

ANTHONY.  (Excitedly,  calling  over  banisters) 
Is  Miss  O'Mara  there  ? 

(They  all  turn  and  look  at  him.) 

JIMMY.  Hullo,  Anthony,  old  chap!  (Crosses  to 
foot  of  stairs  R.) 

ANTHONY.  Oh,  is  that  you,  James  ?  (He  crosses 
and  shambles  jerkily  down  the  staircase  with  a  bun- 
dle of  papers  in  his  hand,  talking  as  he  comes.) 
Has  any  one  seen  Miss  O'Mara  anywhere? 

MILLICENT.  (Getting  off  table  and  looking  up  at 
ANTHONY)  No,  she's  out. 

ANTHONY.  Out?  .  .  .  (Fretfully.)  Tut, 
tut!  Then,  where's — (Abruptly  snatching  JIMMY'S 
hand,  giving  it  one  brief  shake,  and  then  dropping 
it,  and  turning  with  a  jerk. )  where's  her  mother  ? 

MILLICENT.     Mrs.  O'Mara' s  out,  too. 

ANTHONY.  (Fretfully)  Tut,  tut !  I  particularly 
wanted  to  consult  them  about  a  title  for  my  book. 
(He  sits  R.  of  table  c.  and  sorts  his  papers.) 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  to  R.  of  ANTHONY) 
Hullo,  been  writing  a  book,  Anthony  ? 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  and  speaking  over  his 
shoulder)  Er — well,  not  yet,  but  I'm  going  to.  On 
"  Spiders " — for  the  people.  Cheap  and  quite 
"  popular,"  of  course.  And  as  Miss  O'Mara  writes 
herself,  I 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Oh,  only  stories  and 
things, — not  "spider  "  books,  Anthony. 

ANTHONY.    (Turning  sharply  on  LADY  CRACKEN- 


16  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

THORPE)  What  of  that? — what  of  that?  Miss 
O'Mara  and  her  mother  understand  spiders.  They 
seem  instinctively  drawn  to  spiders. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Grimly,  with  an  angry 
sniff)  H'm!  Naturally!  I'm  not  surprised.  A 
fellow  feeling,  of  course. 

ANTHONY.  (Drawing  himself  up,  glaring  at 
LADY  CRACKENTHORPE)  Mother! 

MILLICENT.  (Hastily  to  ANTHONY)  Mother 
only  meant  that  people  who've  lived  among  spiders, 
I  mean  people  who  must  have  had  to  swallow  spi- 
ders at  every  meal 

JIMMY.  (Startled)  What?  "  Swallow  spi- 
ders " 

ANTHONY.  (Interrupting)  Er — conversation- 
ally— merely  conversationally. 

MILLICENT.  I  meant  that,  of  course.  Living 
with  a  man  like  the  Professor,  they'd  have  to. 

ANTHONY.  (Beaming  delightedly)  The  Pro- 
fessor! Ah,  that  reminds  me.  (Turning  to  JIMMY.) 
Are  you  aware  that  we  have  the  widow  of  the  cele- 
brated Professor  O'Mara,  F.  R.  S.,  under  this  very 
roof?  ...  It  may  seem  incredible  to  you,  but 
it's  a  fact.  (Turning  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.) 
Isn't  it,  mother? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (With  a  groan)  Oh, 
yes,  it's  true  enough. 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  proudly  to  JIMMY) 
There!  Think  of  that!  And — (Impressively.)  his 
daughter  sitting  in  my  study. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Starting  up,  with  an 
alarmed  cry)  What?  ...  I  thought  she  was 
out. 

ANTHONY.  (Irritably)  Tut,  tut!  I  meant  this 
morning,  mother. 

(MILLICENT  crosses  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and 
stands  at  end  of  settee.) 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  17 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Subsiding  into  her  seat 
with  a  relieved  sigh)  Oh-h-h! 

ANTHONY.  (To  JIMMY)  Miss  O'Mara  helped 
the  Professor  with  his  book  on  spiders.  She's  been 
at  work  with  me,  all  this  morning.  She  gave  me 
every  encouragement. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Grimly)  I  can  im- 
agine it.  She  would!  (Through  her  clenched 
teeth.)  Oh,  the  little 

(MiLLiCENT  tries  to  pacify  her.) 

ANTHONY.  (To  JIMMY)  It's  an  exceptional  op- 
portunity, the  chance  of  a  lifetime.  Even  you  must 
see  that,  mother? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (With  suppressed  an- 
ger) Oh,  yes,  I  can  see  it,  plainly  enough.  (In  a 
lower  tone.)  So  can  she.  (Under  her  breath.) 
Little  cat!  (ARCHIE  tries  to  pacify  her.) 

ANTHONY.  (Peering  at  his  papers  and  not  hear- 
ing this)  Oh,  well,  I  must  go.  (Abruptly  turning 
to  JIMMY.)  You  staying? 

JIMMY.     Just  for  the  week-end. 

ANTHONY.  Oh,  then  we  can  talk  at  dinner. 
(Importantly.)  My  time  is  precious.  (Rising 
abruptly  and  shambling  up  the  staircase,  talking  as 
he  goes.)  Let  me  know  as  soon  as  either  Mrs. 
O'Mara  or  her  daughter  come  in.  (He  suddenly 
stops  and  gives  a  cry.)  Ah!  Excellent!  (They 
all  turn  and  look  at  ANTHONY,  who  looks  over  ban- 
isters, beaming  through  his  spectacles.)  I've  got 
my  title !  As  it's  to  be  a  "  popular  "  book,  I  might 
call  it  The  Autobiography  of  a  Spider,  eh? 

(There  is  a  moment's  silence.  JIMMY  turns  and  ex- 
plodes into  his  handkerchief.  ARCHIE  grins 
and  pulls  his  moustache  to  hide  it,  and  crosses 
to  fireplace  and  stands  with  his  back  to  it.) 


i8  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

MILLICENT.  {Controlling  her  amusement}  How 
awfully  good ! 

ANTHONY.  (With  his  sudden,  short  laugh — com- 
placently} Yes,  I  really  think  it  sounds  attractive, 
eh?  .  .  .  Don't  you  think  so,  mother? 

(MILLICENT  nudges  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Hastily}  Eh?  Oh, 
yes,  I  think  it  sounds  most  amusing. 

ANTHONY.  (His  whole  expression  changing — 
aghast)  "Amusing?"  (Outraged.}  "Amusing!" 
(Angrily.)  I  see  it's  useless  discussing  some  matters 
with  any  one  but  the  O'Maras.  (With  a  snort  of 
disgust.)  "Amusing!"  Ptcha!  (He  goes  off  L. 
muttering,  " So  like  mother"  Exit  L.  through  arch- 
way on  landing.  They  all  turn  and  look  at  JIMMY.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (To  JIMMY)  There! 
You  can  see  for  yourself. 

JIMMY.  (Shaking  his  head}  By  Jove!  They 
do  seem  to  have  got  hold  of  him.  It's  those  con- 
founded spiders.  That's  their  strong  card. 

ARCHIE.  (Coming  forward  to  foot  of  settee) 
'Course  it  is !  Don't  ye  see,  they're  the  only  women 
he's  ever  met  who  haven't  loathed  spiders.  That's 
the  devil  of  it. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Irritably}  I  can't  see 
why  on  earth  spiders  were  ever  invented.  They're 
no  earthly  use  to  anybody. 

JIMMY.  (Shaking  his  head)  Oh,  aren't  they? 
(Drily.)  You  ask  the  O'Maras.  They  look  like 
being  jolly  useful  to  them.  (He  goes  up,  opens 
his  suit-case,  on  chair  near  writing-table,  and  takes 
out  cigarette  case.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Stamping)  Then  we 
must  prevent  it. 

JIMMY.  That's  all  very  well,  mater — but — how? 
(Shutting  up  bag  again.  ARCHIE  looks  inquiringly 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  19 

at  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  she  motions  for  him 
to  begin.} 

ARCHIE.  (Bracing  himself)  How?  Well, — 
(Laughs  nervously  and  comes  to  table  c.)  that's 
where  you  come  in,  my  dear  feller. 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  to  table  c.,  half  puzzled 
and  half  amused)  I  ?  .  .  .  How  ?  Wha£  do  you 
want  me  to  do  ?  .  .  .  Kidnap  Anthony,  or  marry 
the  girl  myself  ? 

(ARCHIE  and  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  stare  at  him  in 
astonishment  and  exclaim  together.) 

ARCHIE  and  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Together) 
Well,  bless  my  soul !  How  did  you  guess  it  ? 

JIMMY.  (Looking  at  them  in  astonishment) 
What?  ...  I  was  only  rotting.  (Lights  a  ciga- 
rette.) Why,  good  lord,  you're  not  both  of  you 
serious  ? 

ARCHIE.  By  Jove,  we  are,  though,  dead  serious ; 
— ain't  we,  Charlotte  ?  So  will  you,  my  dear  feller  ? 

JIMMY.  (Chaffingly)  Will  I  what?  Kidnap 
Anthony,  spiders  and  all,  and  cart  him  out  to  Cey- 
lon? (Sits  on  chair  R.  of  table  c.) 

ARCHIE.     (Impatiently)     No,  my  dear  feller,  no ! 

JIMMY.  (Half  laughing)  Well,  you  can't  mean 
marry  the  girlf 

ARCHIE.  (Tugging  at  his  moustache,  nervously) 
Well,  no,  my  dear  feller,  you  needn't  marry  her — 
unless,  of  course,  you  want  to. 

JIMMY.  (Ironically)  Oh,  don't  consider  me, 
Uncle  Archie.  (He  turns  to  LADY  CRACKEN- 
THORPE.) What's  he  getting  at,  mater? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Well,  it's  no  use  beating 
about  the  bush,  we  want  you  to  make  up  to  this 
O'Mara  girl,  and  distract  her  attention  from  An- 
thony. 

MILUCENT.     (Who  has  been  a  puzzled  listener 


20  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  I 

until    now — indignantly)       Mother!      So    this    is 
your 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Severely)  Millicent. 
Hush!  (ARCHIE  also  "hushes"  MILLICENT.) 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  Oh,  so  it's  a  case  of  drawing 
a  red  herring  across  the  trail,  and  I'm  to  be  the  red 
herring^  Uncle  Archie — what  ? 

ARCHIE.     (Coughing,  awkwardly,  and  puffing  at 
his  cheroot)     No,  no,  dash  it  all!    You — well,  it's 
all  for  the  good  o'  the  fam'ly,  and  so — well- 
(Breaks  off  in  confusion  and  smokes  furiously.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Anxiously)  Well, 
Jimmy  ? 

ARCHIE.  (Anxiously)  Yes — yes, — what  d'ye 
say,  my  dear  feller  ? 

JIMMY.  (Turning)  Say?  (He  rises  and,  with  a 
half -laugh,  says  contemptuously.)  Rot!  (Turns 
and  strolls  across  R.,  smoking.  MILLICENT  looks 
pleased  and  sits  on  chair  below  fireplace.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (Aghast)     What? 

ARCHIE.  (Following  JIMMY  a  step)  Here,  I 
say,  dash  it  all,  my  dear  feller,  don't  talk  like  that. 
What's  to  become  of  me — er — I  mean,  think  of 
your  mother.  Think  of  the  fam'ly.  You're  our 
sheet  anchor. 

JIMMY.  (Turning)  Oh!  I  was  the  family  red 
herring  a  minute  ago — I'm  getting  on. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Rising — indignantly) 
Do  you  mean  you'll  actually  see  your  brother 
trapped,  and  your  mother  turned  out  of  her  home 
here,  without  raising  a  finger  to  prevent  it? 

JIMMY.  (With  a  troubled  face)  I'd  do  a  good 
deal  to  prevent  it,  but  when  it  comes  to  hoodwinking 
a  girl  who's  never  done  anything  to  me 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  But  she's  doing  things 
to  me,  and  to  Anthony. 

ARCHIE.  Yes,  by  Jove,  to  all  of  us,  my  dear 
feller. 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  21 

JIMMY.  (Turning  to  MILLICENT)  You're  keep- 
ing very  quiet  about  it  all,  Milly.  What  do  you 
say? 

MILLICENT.  (Rising  and  coming  to  L.  c.)  Well, 
if  you  want  my  honest  opinion,  I  think  Peggy 
O'Mara's  not  half  a  bad  sort.  She's  a  bit  harum- 
scarum,  of  course,  but  I  rather  like  her.  Of  course, 
I  don't  believe  she  cares  a  scrap  about  Anthony. 

JIMMY.  No,  no,  we'll  let  her  off  that.  The  point 
is — is  she  an  outsider? 

(ARCHIE  and  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  are  both  about 
to  reply  to  JIMMY  when  MRS.  O'MARA'S  voice 
is  heard  off  R.  calling.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.     (Off)     Peggy!    Peggy! 

ARCHIE.  (Quickly  to  JIMMY)  H'st!  Lookout. 
Here's  the  mother. 

LADY.  CRACKENTHORPE.  Now  you  can  see  for 
yourself.  (She  sits  down  on  settee  again.) 

(Enter  MRS.  O'MARA  L,  through  door  R.  She  is  a 
plump  Irishwoman  of  about  45.  In  reality  a 
pleasant-looking  "woman,  but  on  this,  her  first 
entrance,  she  is  at  her  worst,  being  terribly  un- 
tidy, her  hair  tumbled  and  coming  down,  an 
"  impossible "  hat,  tilted  over  one  eye,  a  short 
skirt  and  mackintosh,  sufficiently  short  to  dis- 
close a  clumsy  pair  of  walking  boots,  very 
muddy.  She  looks  "impossible"  and  out  of 
place  in  her  surroundings,  and  adds  to  this  im- 
pression by  speaking  with  a  pronounced  Irish 
brogue.  She  carries  a  large  pocket-handker- 
chief— with  the  corners  tied  to  form  a  bag — 
carefully,  as  though  something  precious  were 
inside. ) 

MRS.  O'MARA.     (As  she  enters)    Aw,  what's  got 


22  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

the  gyurl,  now?  (She  stops  dead  on  seeing  the 
family  gathered  together.)  'Deed  an'  I  didn't  know 
annybody  was  here.  (Backs  to  door  again.) 

MILLICENT.  (Coming  forward)  Come  in,  Mrs. 
O'Mara. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw  now,  I  know  I'm  lookin' 
horrud.  But  ut  was  in  the  cause  of  science,  any- 
how, an'  brains  were  made  before  bonnets,  as  the 
Professor  used  to  say.  If  I'd  known  ye'd  visitors, 
now (Looking  at  JIMMY.  ) 

MILLICENT.  Oh,  this  is  only  my  other  brother — 
Jimmy.  (To  JIMMY.)  This  is  Mrs.  O'Mara, 
Jimmy. 

(JIMMY  comes  down  toward  MRS.  O'MARA,  and 
bows  to  her.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (With  a  smiling  nod)  Sure  an' 
I'd  have  known  ye  annywhere  from  yer  likeness — 
( JIMMY  smiles.)  to  your  brother. 

JIMMY.  (His  face  falling)  What?  (Stiffly) 
Oh !  Really !  (He  turns  and  looks  annoyed.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Have  ye  seen  Peggy  annywhere, 
Miss  Millicent? 

MILLICENT.  No,  I  thought  she  was  out  with  you, 
Mrs.  O'Mara. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  'Deed,  no.  Then  where'll  I  be 
finding  his  lordship,  now? 

MILLICENT.    Anthony's  in  his  study. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Then  I'll  be  goin'  there,  if  ye'll 
excuse  me.  Maybe  Peggy'll  be  there,  too.  (Turns 
to  staircase.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sharply)  Indeed  she's 
not. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Resignedly)  Aw  sure,  that 
gyurl's  never  where  she  should  be. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (Rising  and  advancing  a 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  23 

step — getting  angry)  I  can't  see  the  slightest  neces- 
sity for  your  daughter  to  be  in  my  son's  room. 

(ARCHIE  and  MILLICENT  attempt  to  suppress  LADY 
CRACKENTHORPE.  ) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  but  "  necessity  "  is  only  an- 
other name  for  inclination,  where  two  young  people 
are  concerned,  Lady  Crackenthorpe.  (Goes  up 
staircase. ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Frigidly)  I  don't  un- 
derstand you. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Turning,  sweetly)  Aw  now,  is 
ut  so  long  since  ye  was  young  yerself,  that  ye've 
forgotten  the  way  av  ut  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Turning  away  indig- 
nantly) Oh-h-h! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Pausing  on  staircase  to  peep 
into  her  handkerchief)  Aw,  look  at  that  now,  I've 
lost  me  spider. 

MILLICENT.  (Crossing  to  foot  of  stairs)  You 
don't  mean  you  were  carrying  a  live  spider  in  your 
handkerchief  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Kneeling  on  landing  and  look- 
ing about)  'Deed  an'  I  was — a  beautiful  trap-door 
spider,  too.  (Rising.)  Aw,  well,  Peggy  must  go 
back  and  catch  another  for  his  lordship.  He'd 
rather  she  gave  it  him  than  me,  I'm  thinkin'.  (Call- 
ing down.)  Don't  ye  think  so,  Lady  Cracken- 
thorpe ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Turning  and  speaking 
tartly)  No!  I  think  your  inference  is  distinctly 
premature. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Crossing  landing  at  top  and 
speaking  down)  Aw,  well,  ut's  well  to  be  on  the 
safe  soide.  If  ye're  not  premature  nowadays,  ye're 
anticipated.  (She  nods  and  smiles  and  exits  L.) 

LADY    CRACKENTHORPE.      (Turning    to    JIMMY, 


24  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

choking  with  indignation)  There !  (Sits  down  on 
settee.) 

ARCHIE.  There !  ( Coming  down  to  table  c.  and 
waving  his  hand  toward  MRS.  O'MARA'S  exit.) 
What  d'ye  make  o'  that,  my  dear  feller? 

JIMMY.  (Crossing  slowly  L.  to  fireplace,  and 
standing  with  his  back  to  it)  She  certainly  means 
business,  there's  no  doubt  about  it.  (To  MILLI- 
CENT.)  I  say,  Milly,  is  this  girl — Peggy,  anything 
like — that?  (He  jerks  his  head  toward  staircase.) 

MILLICENT.  (Sitting  on  end  of  settee)  Oh,  no, 
not  a  scrap. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Ptcha!  Not  now,  but 
it's  only  a  question  of  time. 

ARCHIE.  But  at  present,  there's  no  denyin'  she's 
devilish  pretty. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (Severely)    Archie! 

ARCHIE.  (Hastily)  Er — unfortunately!  That's 
what  I  meant,  Charlotte — "  unfortunately." 

JIMMY.  Oh,  well,  I  want  a  bit  of  sugar  on  the 
pill.  (They  all  look  at  JIMMY  curiously.) 

ARCHIE.  (Starting  forward)  By  Jove,  that 
means  you  will  help  us  ? 

JIMMY.  Well,  it's  a  bit  of  a  facer  to  think  of 
people  like  that  getting  hold  here. 

ARCHIE.  (Leaning  across  table  c.)  Then  why 
hesitate  so,  my  dear  feller  ? 

JIMMY.  (Uneasily)  Well,  it  doesn't  seem  quite 
cricket. 

ARCHIE.  Why !  Dash  it  all,  you  needn't  commit 
yourself,  you've  only  got  to  sorter  dazzle  the  girl, 
that's  all.  (JIMMY  grins  in  spite  of  himself.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Yes,  once  I  get  them  out 
of  the  house,  you  can  leave  the  rest  to  me. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  then  the  programme  is — /  dazzle  the 
girl,  and  you  do  the  rest,  what?  (Thinks  a  minute 
and  then  shrugs  his  shoulders.)  Oh,  well,  some- 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  25 

body's  got  to  do  something;  I  suppose  I'll  have  to 
have  a  shot  at  it. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  ARCHIE  both  give  audi- 
ble sighs  of  relief.} 

ARCHIE.  {Coming  to  him,  slapping  him  on  back} 
Bravo !  Good  man ! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (With  a  sigh  of  relief} 
Ah— that's  all  right. 

JIMMY.  (Shaking  his  head  and  crossing  slowly 
to  L.)  Oh,  don't  you  be  so  sure.  Goodness  only 
knows  how  it'll  turn  out. 

(At  this  moment  MRS.  O'MARA'S  voice  is  heard  off 
upstairs.} 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Off)  Peggy!  Where  in  the 
wurrld  have  ye  been,  now  ? 

(PEGGY'S  voice  is  heard  off  through  open  window  at 
the  back.} 

PEGGY.  (Off — laughs  lightly  and  then  calls}  I 
daren't  shout  it  all,  come  down,  and  I'll  tell  you. 

JIMMY.  (Turning  quicky  to  ARCHIE)  Is 
that ? 

ARCHIE.  (Nodding)  Peggy.  (He  goes  up  to 
the  window,  followed  by  JIMMY.  Pointing  out  of 
window.)  There  she  is, — look. 

JIMMY.  By  Jove !  She  is  a  pretty  girl.  (Sud- 
denly backing  out  of  range  of  window.)  She's  com- 
ing in.  (He  turns  c.  hastily  and  crosses  to  stair- 
case.) Here,  where's  my  kit?  (He  snatches  up 
his  suit-case,  which  is  standing  where  he  left  it,  and 
begins  to  spring  up  the  staircase  three  steps  at  a 
time.  They  all  turn  and  call  up,  in  surprise,  to 
him. ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     Jimmy,  don't  go. 


26  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY        ACT  i 

ARCHIE.  Here,  dash  it  all  !  What  are  you  goin' 
to  do? 

JIMMY.  (From  landing,  speaking  down)  What 
am  I  going  to  do?  Why,  I'm  going  to  wash.  I 
couldn't  dazzle  that  girl  with  a  grimy  face.  (He 
dashes  off  R.  and  exits.  MILLICENT  goes  up  to  win- 
dow at  back  and  looks  off.) 

ARCHIE.  (Pulls  his  moustache  complacently) 
Well,  I've  pulled  it  off  for  you,  Charlotte,  so,  if 
you  could  put  your  hand  on  that  fiver,  I  really  must 
go  up  to  town  to-day  —  er  —  my  dentist  —  y'know. 
(He  slowly  makes  his  way  round  to  fireplace  during 
the  next  few  sentences.) 

(Reenter  MRS.  O'MARA  down  the  staircase.  She 
has  changed  her  dress,  and  smartened  herself 
generally,  and  now  looks  quite  presentable.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (As  she  comes  down)  Hasn't 
Peggy  come  in?  I've  just  been  speaking  to  her, 
and  -  (As  she  reaches  the  bottom,  the  door  un- 
der gallery  at  back  bursts  open  and  enter  PEGGY. 
She  is  a  bright,  pretty,  impulsive  girl,  who  looks 
about  2$.  She  is  simply  dressed  on  her  first  en- 
trance, in  a  blue  serge  skirt  and  a  blouse,  and  a  sim- 
ple hat.  She  looks  full  of  health  and  high  spirits, 
and  speaks  impulsively  and  frankly,  ignoring  all 
conventions  and  proprieties  in  a  perfectly  simple  and 
ingenuous  way.  She  is  —  in  short  —  a  perfectly  nat- 
ural, unspoiled,  and  slightly  wild  Irish  girl.  She 
only  uses  a  touch  of  the  brogue,  very  occasionally, 
and  as  a  joke,  her  speech  ordinarily  being  quite 
pure.  The  moment  she  appears  MRS.  O'MARA  be- 
gins to  speak  reprovingly.  Shaking  her  finger.) 


PEGGY.  (Cutting  in  and  shaking  her  finger  at 
her  mother,  in  comic  imitation  of  the  severe  parent) 
Mother  !  Now,  where  have  you  been  ? 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  27 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (With  a  helpless  gesture  to 
ARCHIE)  Aw,  listen  to  that,  now.  Taking  me  very 
wor-rds  off  me  lips. 

PEGGY.  (Mischievously,  and  dropping  into  the 
brogue  like  her  mother)  Sure,  an'  where  else  would 
I  take  them  from,  mother  darlin'  ?  But  there,  now, 
I'll  put  something  better  in  their  place.  (She  runs 
across,  gives  her  mother  a  hug  and  kisses  her  af- 
fectionately.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Smiling,  and  giving  her  a  little 
push)  Aw,  git  along  with  yer  coaxing  ways,  an' 
tell  me  what  ye've  been  doing? 

(Re enter  ANTHONY  down  the  stairs.     He  joins  the 
group.) 

PEGGY.  (Her  eyes  dancing  with  mischief)  Well, 

I've  had  such  a  queer (Breaking  off.)  Oh, 

but  perhaps  the  others  are  not  interested,  mother. 

ANTHONY.  On  the  contrary,  we  are  intensely 
interested; — (Turning  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE,) 
aren't  we,  mother? 

(LADY     CRACKENTHORPE     turns     her     back,     and 
ARCHIE  soothes  her.) 

MILLJCENT.  (Trying  to  cover  her  mother's  at- 
titude) Have  you  had  any  tea,  Miss  O'Mara? 

PEGGY.  (Sitting  down  on  L.  of  c.  table)  Well, 
no,  it  was — (With  a  wicked  glance  at  LADY  CRACK- 
ENTHORPE.) ginger  beer. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  turns  sharply  and  stares  at 
her.) 

MILLICENT.  (Blankly)  Ginger  beer?  (Incred- 
ulously.) Ginger  beer? 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  sharply  on  MILLICENT) 
Why  not?  Why  not? 


28  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

ARCHIE.     (Vastly  tickled)     Haw!  haw! 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  looks  at  him  severely  and 
he  hastily  turns  his  laugh  into  a  cough  and 
strolls  to  fireplace.  ANTHONY  is  above  table 
c.  and  MIIJJCENT  sitting  on  arm  of  settee.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Frigidly)  Ginger 
beer?  (Closing  her  eyes.)  How  utterly  impossible ! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Sitting  on  chair  R.  of  c.  table, 
blandly)  Aw,  nothing's  impossible  where  Peggy's 
concerned,  when  she's  in  one  of  her  wild  moods, 
Lady  Crackenthorpe. 

PEGGY.  (Taking  off  her  gloves)  Mother,  I'm 
surprised  at  you.  I've  only  been — paying  a  call. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Again  rising  to  the 
bait)  I  wasn't  aware  that  you  knew  any  one  in 
this  part  of  the  country. 

PEGGY.     (Innocently)     I  don't. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Then  how  have  you— 
who  did  you ? 

PEGGY.    Well,  you  see,  I  just — dropped  in. 

MRS.  O'MARA.    Dropped  in  ?    Where,  Peggy  ? 

PEGGY.  (Demurely)  Into  the  trout  stream, 
mother. 

ANTHONY.     (Concerned)    Good  gracious ! 

(ARCHIE  is  again  enormously  tickled  and  chuckles. 
LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  turns  and  looks  at  him 
and  he  stops.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  lave  off  yer  humbugging, 
Peggy-  What'll  his  lordship  be  thinkin'  of  ye? 
What's  the  truth  av  ut,  annyway  ? 

PEGGY.  Oh,  it  is  nothing.  I  was  hunting  for  some 
trap-door  spiders,  on  the  banks  of  the  trout  stream, 
and  I  slipped  in,  that's  all. 

ANTHONY.  (Alarmed)  Dear  me!  Not  in  the 
deep  part,  I  hope. 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  29 

PEGGY.  Oh,  no,  I  only  went  up  to  here.  (Points 
to  her  knees.} 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Peggy!  (Starting  forward.) 

An'  you  sitting  there  talking  in  yer  wet 

(Kneeling  and  grasping  PEGGY'S  skirt  below  the 
knees  and  then  sits  back  on  her  heels  on  floor.) 
Why,  ut's  dry! 

PEGGY.  Of  course  it  is  dry,  now, — that's  where 
my  afternoon  call  comes  in.  Well,  when  I'd  scram- 
bled out,  I  started  to  walk  back 

MILLICENT.     Like  that?    Why,  it's  four  miles. 

PEGGY.  Yes,  and  with  my  shoes  full  of  water, 
and  my  skirt — well,  perhaps  you've  none  of  you 
ever  tried  to  walk  four  miles  in  a  soaked  skirt. 

ANTHONY.  (Perfectly  seriously)  No,  no,  never! 
Never!  (ARCHIE  chuckles  behind  his  hand  again.) 

PEGGY.  Well,  don't.  After  the  first  mile  I  gave 
it  up,  and  that's  where  the  call  came  in. 

(ANTHONY  goes  to  assist  MRS.  O'MARA  to  rise,  but 
she  pushes  him  into  her  chair  R.  of  table,  while 
she  remains  sitting  on  her  heels  on  the  floor. ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHGRPE.  Where  could  you  think 
of  calling,  in  that  state? 

PEGGY.     It  was  a  cottage. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sneering)  Oh,  you 
said  an  "  afternoon  call " ! 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  sharply  on  LADY  CRACK- 
ENTHORPE) Don't  interrupt,  mother.  (To  PEGGY.) 
Yes?  Yes?  Yes? 

PEGGY.  Well,  I  went  up,  and  I  knocked  till  I  was 
tired,  but  no  one  came.  Well,  the  door  was  only 
closed,  so  I  pushed  it  open  and  called  out,  "  Hullo," 
just  like  that.  Not  a  sound,  so  I — well,  I  was  feel- 
ing desperate  by  this  time,  and  I  walked  in. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Disapprovingly)  You 
walked  in? 


30  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  sharply  to  his  mother  and 
jerking  out)  Why  not?  Why  not? 

PEGGY.  There  wasn't  a  soul  in  the  place,  but 
there  was  a  nice  fire  in  the  kitchen,  so  after  I'd 
looked  round  and  made  quite  sure  there  was  no 
one  about,  I  went  into  the  kitchen  and  slipped  off 
my  skirt 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Scandalised  and  gasp- 
ing} You  slipped  off  your  skirt?  (She  half  rises, 
and  MILLICENT  and  ARCHIE  pacify  her.) 

PEGGY.  (Innocently)  Well,  there  was  no  one 
there.  If  you'd  felt  as  uncomfortable  as  /  did,  I'm 
certain  you'd  have  done  the  same. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Scandalised)  I? 
.  .  .  In  a  strange  place  like  that.  (Turning  in- 
dignantly to  ARCHIE.)  Really,  Archie! 

ANTHONY.  (Sharply  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE) 
Why  not  ?  Why  not  ? 

ARCHIE.  Er — h'm!  (He  chokes  another  laugh 
into  a  cough  and  tries  to  pacify  LADY  CRACKEN- 
THORPE in  dumb  show.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  but  supposin'  annybody  had 
come  in,  now,  Peggy? 

PEGGY.  What  is  the  good  of  supposing  things 
that  don't  happen,  before  they  do? 

ANTHONY.     Absolutely  useless. 

MILLICENT.  Well,  it  certainly  was  rather  a  risky 
thing  to  do. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  I  never  thought  about  that.  I  was 
only  too  glad  to  get  that  horrid  wet  skirt  off,  and 
hang  it  before  the  fire. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  But,  sure,  Peggy,  your — (Her 
eye  catches  ANTHONY  and  she  stops)  er — well, 
more  than  yer  skirt  must  have  got  wet,  annyway  ? 

PEGGY.  Oh,  yes,  my  shoes  and  stockings,  of 
course,  but  I  took  those  off  first. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Rising)  You  needn't 
go  into  any  further  details,  please. 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  31 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  sharply  on  LADY  CRACKEN- 
THORPE  as  before)  Why  not?  Why  not? 

(ARCHIE  simply  explodes  and  turns  his  back.) 

PEGGY.  (Innocently)  Oh,  there  were  no  other 
details — I  mean  I  had  no  other — (Pulling  up 
hastily.)  er,  well,  it  was  a  hot  day,  and  I — I  was 
dressed  for  walking. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     Oh-h-h! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  But  did  ye  never  think  that  one 
of  the  inhabitants  might  have  been  a  man  ? 

MILLICENT.  (Coming  and  sitting  on  back  of  c. 
table)  Yes,  perhaps  a  rough  man,  too. 

PEGGY.     Oh,  no,  he  was  a  gentleman,  I'm  sure. 

MRS.  O'MARA.     Then  there  was  a  man? 

PEGGY.  (Cheerfully)  Oh,  yes.  I  saw  all  his 
pipes  and  fishing  rods  and  things. 

ARCHIE.  (Fixing  in  his  eyeglass)  But  why  were 
you  so  cock-sure  he  was  a  gentleman,  Miss  O'Mara  ? 

PEGGY.  Why,  he  had  almost  as  big  a  collection  of 
actress's  photographs  as  you  have,  Major  Phipps. 

ARCHIE.  (Taken  aback)  Eh — what?  (Turning 
away.)  Er — h'm-m! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (To  PEGGY)  You 
found  out  all  this,  and  still  stayed? 

PEGGY.  Well,  blue  serge  takes  such  ages  to  dry. 
That's  when  I  saw  the  things.  You  see,  I  had  to 
wander  about  a  bit,  to  kill  time. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Collapsing  in  her  chair 

again)  "Wander  about"  with  only  your 

Oh-h-h-h!  (She  sits,  inexpressibly  shocked.) 

PEGGY.  (Unable  to  see  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE'S 
grievance}  But — he  was  out. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Wheeling  round) 
Then  may  I  ask  who  gave  you  (Bitingly.)  the  "  re- 
freshment "  you  spoke  of  ? 


32  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

ARCHIE.  (Trying  to  get  level)  Yes,  what  price 
the  ginger  beer,  eh  ? 

PEGGY.  (Easily)  Oh,  I  forgot  about  that.  I 
was  awfully  thirsty,  and  there  were  some  bottles 
of  stone  ginger  beer  on  the  table,  so  I  opened  one, 
— that's  all. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  Peggy,  that  reely  was  takin' 
a  liberty,  now. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  I  left  twopence  by  the  empty  bottle, 
mother. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sarcastically)  Dear 
me.  How  very  punctilious  of  you. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  Lady  Crackenthorpe,  you  don't  mean 
to  say  you'd  have  stolen  it? 

ANTHONY.  (Jerking  round  abruptly  on  LADY 
CRACKENTHORPE)  Really,  mother,  you  surprise  me. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  turns  once  more  to  ARCHIE 
for  sympathy. ) 

MRS.  O'MARA.    An'  is  that  all,  Peggy? 

PEGGY.  Oh,  yes.  I  put  on  my  dry  things,  left 
a  little  note  explaining  what  I'd  done,  and  where  I 
was  staying 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Starting  violently,  and 
almost  shrieking  as  she  echoes  PEGGY'S  words) 
Where — you — were — staying?  (Closing  her  eyes 
and  gasping.)  Oh! — my  salts.  Get  me  my  salts. 

ARCHIE.  (Looks  round)  Where  is  that  con- 
founded bottle,  Milly  ? 

(MILLICENT  looks  round  and  then  runs  upstairs 
and  off.) 

PEGGY.  Well,  it  would  have  been  rather  horrid 
of  me  to  have  left  without  thanking  my  host, 
wouldn't  it,  Lord  Crackenthorpe  ? 

ANTHONY.  (Beaming  at  her)  Charming  of  you 
to  think  of  it. 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  33 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sharply)  Nonsense, 
Anthony.  You  must  forgive  my  saying,  Miss 
O'Mara,  that  I  consider  that  the  whole  incident  was 
indiscreet  to  a  degree. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  but  that's  just  Peggy  all 
over,  Lady  Crackenthorpe. 

PEGGY.     (Indignantly)     Mother! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  I  mean  ye  never  look  before  ye 
leap  until  after  ut's  over.  Ye  must  admit  it  now, 
Peggy. 

PEGGY.  (Smiling)  I'm  afraid  I  never  look  even 
then,  I  leave  other  people  to  do  that. 

(MILLICENT  enters  L.  on  landing  with  smelling  bot- 
tle and  crosses  R.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Tartly)  And  what  if 
the  "  other  people "  misconstrue  things,  Miss 
O'Mara? 

PEGGY.  (Lightly)  Oh,  well, — (Shrugging  her 
shoulders.)  as  we  say  in  Ireland,  "  harm  to  them 
that  thinks  it." 

(  MILLICENT  suddenly  stops  on  small  landing  with  a 
shriek.) 

MILLICENT.  (Looking  at  her  feet)  Oh!  What 
an  awful  spider.  (She  gathers  up  skirts.) 

ANTHONY.  (Excitedly)  A  spider?  Where? 
Where?  (He  hurries  up  to  landing  and  drops  on 
his  hands  and  knees.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Suddenly)  Sure,  an'  it'll  be 
the  same  I  lost.  (She  hurries  up  the  stairs  after 
ANTHONY.) 

ANTHONY.  (Going  fiat  on  his  body  on  landing, 
in  the  excitement  of  the  hunt,  and  rising  with  spider 
between  finger  and  thumb,  triumphantly)  Ah-h-hl 
(He  pulls  out  his  pocket  lens  and  examines  it.) 


34  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Joining  him  and  examining  it) 
Sure,  ut's  the  very  same,  indeed. 

(MILLICENT  crosses  round  behind  them,  and  comes 
down  with  smelling  bottle.) 

ANTHONY.  (Gloating  over  spider  and  calling 
down  to  PEGGY)  A  quite  exceptional  specimen! 
Miss  O'Mara, — look  here. 

(PEGGY  runs  up  the  staircase  and  she,  MRS.  O'MARA 
and  ANTHONY  all  stand  on  landing  examining 
the  spider  in  dumb  show.  LADY  CRACKEN- 
THORPE,  ARCHIE  and  MILLICENT  form  another 
group  down  stage  L,  and  talk  in  rapid  under- 
tones.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sniffing  smelling  bot- 
tle— irritably)  It's  monstrous!  Why  wasn't 
Jimmy  here,  he'd  have  seen  for  himself  (Her  voice 
rising. )  what  an  impossible 

MILLICENT.  (Glancing  at  group  on  stairs) 
Mother !  Hssh !  Please! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Stamping  her  foot)  I 
will  not  "  shish."  She's  absolutely  shameless.  Is 
Jimmy  never  coming  down? 

ARCHIE.  (In  a  low  voice)  Here,  dash  it  all,  do 
keep  hold  of  yourself,  Charlotte,  or  you'll  spoil 
everything.  I'll  go  up  and  rout  Jimmy  out,  and 
send  him  down.  (He  crosses  R.  and  goes  upstairs 
and  off  L.) 

MILLICENT.  Let  us  leave  them,  and  go  into  the 
drawing-room,  mother. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Oh,  very  well.  (She 
crosses  L.  with  MILLICENT,  giving  one  vindictive 
glance  at  group  on  stairs  and  protesting  in  dumb 
show  as  she  exits,  L.,  with  MILLICENT.) 

ANTHONY.     (Examining  spider  through  pocket 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  35 

lens  and  speaking  to  PEGGY)  Well,  you  may  be 
right.  We'll  examine  the  bristles  under  the  micro- 
scope. 

PEGGY.  (Turning)  Yes,  that'll  prove  it.  (She 
runs  down  the  stairs  into  hall,  leaving  ANTHONY 
and  MRS.  O'MARA  on  landing — calling  back  as  she 
descends.)  There's  a  diagram  of  it  in  papa's  book. 

ANTHONY.  Is  there?  Excellent!  It's  in  the 
study,  we'll  look  it  up.  (Jerks  abruptly  round  and 
•walks  L.,  saying  excitedly.)  Come  along,  come 
along. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Signalling  significantly  to 
PEGGY  to  come  upstairs  again  and  rejoin  them) 
Come  up,  and  go  with  his  lordship,  Peggy  darlin' ! 

PEGGY.  (Standing  c.,  back  to  audience)  Oh,  no, 
it's  you  he  wants,  mother.  (She  sits  down  at  piano. 
ANTHONY  stops  and  looks  from  one  to  the  other. 
PEGGY  calls  up  to  him  from  the  piano.)  I'm  no  use 
to  you,  Lord  Crackenthorpe ;  it  was  mother,  there, 
who  helped  papa  with  that  section  of  the  book. 
(She  plays  a  few  bars  of  "La  Mattchiche.") 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  and  eyeing  MRS.  O'MARA 
delightedly)  Really?  How  very  interesting. 
(Turning  L.,  excitedly.)  The  microscope's  quite 
ready  in  the  study,  so  if  you  wouldn't  mind  assisting 
me (Moving  L.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Fairly  caught)  Oh,  I  shall  be 
delighted.  (She  turns  to  follow  him.)  But, — 
Peggy'd  best  come,  too. 

ANTHONY.  Eh?  (Carelessly.)  Oh! — by  all 
means,  if  she  wishes. 

PEGGY.  (Still  playing  piano  softly)  I — I'll  fol- 
low you,  mother. 

ANTHONY.  (Absently,  absorbed  with  the  spider) 
Yes, — yes, — you  needn't  hurry.  So  long  as  Mrs. 
O'Mara  will  come.  (Moving  L.  to  MRS.  O'MARA.) 
So  kind  of  you  to (He  goes  through  arch- 


36  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

•way,  and  the  remainder  of  his  sentence  is  lost  as  he 
exits  L.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Crossing  landing  after  him  and 
leaning  over  banisters  after  his  exit,  and  calling 
down  in  a  loud  whisper)  Peggy,  if  ye  don't  come 
soon,  I'll 

ANTHONY.  (Off)  This  way,  Mrs.  O'Mara, 
come  along.  (PEGGY  plays  on  gaily.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Throws  up  her  hands  in  de- 
spair, and  then  shakes  her  fist  at  PEGGY)  Oh-h-h! 
(Exit  after  ANTHONY  L.,  leaving  PEGGY  in  the  hall 
beloiv  alcove.) 

PEGGY.  (Turning  laughingly  c.,  clapping  her 
hands  triumphantly,  she  then,  humming  gaily,  takes 
off  her  hat,  throws  it  on  the  table,  then  crosses  L. 
to  ingle  nook,  and  dragging  a  big  old  chair  to  wall, 
stands  on  seat,  and  looks  at  row  of  old  books,  on 
high  book-shelf,  selects  one,  and  takes  it  out,  ex- 
claiming) Phugh !  How  dusty !  (She  blows  dust 
off  top  of  book  and  without  getting  off  chair,  sits 
on  back,  with  her  feet  resting  on  seat,  and  turns 
over  the  pages.) 

(Re'enter  JIMMY  on  landing,  R.,  with  ARCHIE,  who 
points  down  to  PEGGY.) 

ARCHIE.  (Sotto  voce,  to  JIMMY)  There  she  is, 
now  go  in  and — "  dazzle  her." 

(JIMMY  laughingly  pushes  ARCHIE  off  R.  and  then 
crosses  landing  to  stairs.  He  puts  his  tie 
straight,  settles  his  collar  and  linen,  pulls  down 
his  waistcoat,  and  then  descends  with  the  air 
of  a  conqueror.  PEGGY  has  her  back  to  him 
and  doesn't  see  him,  and  is  too  much  engrossed 
in  her  book  to  hear.  As  he  conies  down  she 
changes  her  volume  for  another,  which  is  also 
dusty,  and  fust  as  JIMMY  crosses  to  her  chair, 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  37 

she  turns  sharply,  and,  before  she  sees  him, 
blows  a  cloud  of  dust  from  top  of  book  all  over 
him.) 

JIMMY.  (Falling  back  a  step,  his  eyes  full  of 
dust  and  coughing)  Ugh!  .  .  .  Pff!  .  .  . 
H'm! 

PEGGY.  (Standing  on  armchair}  Oh,  I  am  so 
sorry.  I  never  heard  any  one  come  in.  I  hope  I 
haven't  made  you  very  dusty. 

JIMMY.  (Coughing  a  bit}  Ugh!  Oh,  no! 
(Cough.)  Not  the  least  bit — (Cough.}  thanks. 

PEGGY.  (Looking)  Why,  your  coat's  simply 
covered.  (She  throws  book  down.)  I'll  get  a 
clothes-brush.  (She  jumps  down  impulsively,  looks 
about,  and  goes  up  to  hall  table  at  back  and  fetches 
a  clothes-brush.) 

JIMMY.  (Protesting)  No,  really — please. 
(Dusting  himself  with  handkerchief.) 

PEGGY.  I  insist.  (Coming  back  -with  clothes- 
brush  and  giving  it  to  him.}  It  was  awfully  stupid 
of  me,  blowing  all  my  dust  over  you  like  that. 

JIMMY.  (Gallantly — brushing  himself  at  ran- 
dom) Not  at  all,  awfully  stupid  of  me  to — to  get 
in  the  way  of  your  dust,  don't  y'know. 

PEGGY.  (Watching  him  critically)  You  know, 
you're  not  brushing  anywhere  near  the  dust.  (Im- 
pulsively.} Oh,  let  me.  (She  seizes  the  brush  and 
begins  to  brush  his  shoulder. )  There !  Now,  turn 
round.  (JIMMY"  turns,  and  PEGGY  vigorously  dusts 
his  shoulders  and  back.} 

JIMMY.  (Over  his  shoulder}  I  say,  really,  I 
can't  let  you 

PEGGY.  (Intent  on  her  work)  Oh,  please  stand 
still,  your  back's  awful.  Those  books  can't  have 
been  dusted  for  years.  (She  steps  back  and  surveys 
him.)  There!  You're  all  right  now. 


38  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

JIMMY.  (Turning}  Awfully  good  of  you,  really. 
Perhaps  I  ought  to  introduce  myself. 

PEGGY.  (Starting  and  turning  face  to  audience) 
Oh !  Good  gracious !  I  forgot  about  that.  What 
will  you  think  of  me  ? 

JIMMY.     How  d'you  mean?    What's  wrong? 

PEGGY.  Why,  to  be  talking  to  you,  and — (She 
suddenly  begins  to  laugh. )  thumping  your  back  like 
that,  when  I  don't  even  know  your  name. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  that's  nothing.  It  seemed  the  most 
natural  thing  in  the  world. 

PEGGY.  Yes,  that's  just  it.  I'm  always  being 
"  natural,"  that's  where  I'm  always  getting  into 
trouble.  Being  natural  seems  against  the  rules,  but 
it's  so  hard  to  remember.  (Looking  at  brush.) 
Especially  with  a  clothes-brush ! 

JIMMY.    Why  with  a  clothes-brush  in  particular? 

PEGGY.  (Leaning  against  settee)  Why,  haven't 
you  noticed?  It's  almost  impossible  to  brush  any 
one  down,  without  a  sort  of  feeling  that  you've 
known  them  for  years. 

JIMMY.  I  suppose  that  cuts  both  ways.  I  feel — 
(He  comes  forward  and  looks  straight  into  her 
eyes.)  as  though  I'd  known  you  all  my  life. 

PEGGY.  (Freezing,  and  dropping  clothes-brush 
into  his  hand  and  speaking  tartly)  Oh,  then  I'm 
sure  you  must  be  simply  aching  to  get  away  from 
me.  I  think  you'll  find  Lady  Crackenthorpe  and 
Miss  Keppel  in  the  drawing-room.  (Sits  on  settee. ) 

JIMMY.  (Throwing  clothes-brush  on  table)  Oh  ! 
I've  seen  both  Milly  and  the  mater,  thanks. 

PEGGY.  (Turning  sharply,  surprised)  "The 
mater "  ?  .  .  .  Why,  who 

JIMMY.  (Crossing  round  top  of  settee  and  stand- 
ing facing  her)  Oh,  I  forgot.  I'm  Jimmy,  you 
know/ — Jimmy  Keppel.  I  thought  you'd  have 
spotted  the  family  likeness. 

PEGGY.    Who  to? 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  39 

JIMMY.  Well,  to — (He  pauses,  with  a  self-sat- 
isfied grin.}  to  my  brother  Anthony,  for  instance. 

PEGGY.     Oh,  that's  absurd. 

JIMMY.    Awfully  nice  of  you  to  say  so. 

PEGGY.     Nice  of  me, — how? 

JIMMY.  Well,  Mrs.  O'Mara  said  she'd  have 
known  me  from  my  likeness  to  him,  anywhere. 
(He  grins  again  complacently.} 

PEGGY.  (Taking  his  measure}  Oh,  but  you 
mustn't  believe  Mrs.  O'Mara;  she  always  flatters 
everybody.  (With  this  parting  shot,  PEGGY  turns, 
picks  up  her  book  and  sits  with  her  back  half- 
turned  to  him,  reading  it.  JIMMY  stands,  a  bit 
shaken  by  his  first  tumble,  wondering  what  to  do 
next.  PEGGY  peeps  round  at  him  over  the  top  of 
her  book,  mischievously.  He  turns  sharply  and  she 
ducks  behind  her  book.  JIMMY  turns  away  again 
thinking,  and  then  he  smiles  to  himself,  evidently 
having  got  another  plan  of  attack.  He  adjusts  his 
tie,  touches  his  collar,  and  pitlls  down  his  waistcoat 
as  before,  and  strolls  across  to  PEGGY.) 

JIMMY.  (Innocently)  I  say,  forgive  me  for  in- 
terrupting you  a  minute,  but  you  haven't  by  any 
chance  seen  Miss  O'Mara  anywhere  about,  have 
you?  (He  looks  about  as  if  in  search  of  her.) 

PEGGY.  (Turning  sharply)  What  do  you 

(She  checks  herself  suddenly,  and  playing  up  to 
him,  says.)  Why?  Do  you  want  to  see  her? 

JIMMY.     (Emphatically)     Awfully. 

PEGGY.     (Amused)     Really?    Why? 

JIMMY.  Eh?  Oh,  I've  heard  such  a  lot  about 
her,  don't  you  know,  and  I'm  awfully  keen  on  hav- 
ing a  look  at  her. 

PEGGY.  Well  then,  I  should  advise  you  to — 
"  have  a  look,"  that's  all.  (She  turns  and  pretends 
to  read  her  book.} 

JIMMY.  (Looking  about  room)  Look?  .  .  . 
Where? 


40  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

PEGGY.  (Dropping  into  the  brogue}  Sure,  I  was 
thinkin'  ye'd  be  knowin'  me,  from  me  likeness  to  me 
mother. 

JIMMY.  (Falling  back  with  mock  astonishment} 
What? 

PEGGY.  Well,  Lady  Crackenthorpe  says  she'd 
have  known  me  from  my  likeness  to  mother, — any- 
where. 

JIMMY.  (With  mock  incredulity)  No,  you  can't 
mean  that  you  are  Miss  O'Mara  ? 

PEGGY.     (Laughing)     Of  course  I  am. 

JIMMY.  (Dropping  into  a  chair  as  though  abso- 
lutely overcome)  Good  Lord!  I — I'd  no  idea — I 
should  never  have  guessed — I  never  dreamt — why, 

you're (He  jumps  up  and  shakes  her  hand.) 

By  Jove,  I  really  am  awfully  glad  to  meet  you, — 
really. 

PEGGY.  Gracious! — did  they  make  me  out  as 
bad  as  all  that? 

JIMMY.  (Going  nearer)  I  don't  believe  they've 
ever  seen  you, — properly ! 

PEGGY.  Perhaps  you  haven't.  You  see,  I  began 
by  "  throwing  dust  in  your  eyes,"  didn't  I  ? 

JIMMY.  (Sitting  down  on  settee  near  her)  I 
begin  to  see  great  possibilities  in  dust. 

PEGGY.  Yes,  so  do  I,  so  I  think  we'd  better — let 
it  rest. 

JIMMY.  (Leaning  toward  her)  I'm  jolly  glad 
you  didn't.  (PEGGY  rises  quickly  and  goes  to  fire- 
place, leaving  JIMMY  on  settee — pause.)  I  say,  you 
know,  you're  not  a  bit  like  other  girls. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  so  Lady  Crackenthorpe  told  you 
that,  did  she? 

JIMMY.  (Impatiently)  Oh,  never  mind  what  the 
mater  says. 

PEGGY.     I  never  do, — that's  what  annoys  her  so. 

JIMMY.  No,  no,  listen.  What  I  mean  is — you're 
not  like  any  woman  I've  ever  met. 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  41 

PEGGY.  Oh,  what  very  funny  people  you  must 
associate  with.  No  wonder  your  mother  shakes  her 
head  so,  whenever  your  name  is  mentioned.  (She 
turns  her  back  to  him.) 

JIMMY.  (Rises  and  crosses  to  her,  trying  an- 
other tone,  very  seriously)  Miss  O'Mara,  I've  only 
known  you  five  minutes,  is  it  too  soon  to  ask  a 
great  favor?  ...  I  want • 

PEGGY.  (Deliberately  misconstruing  his  mean- 
ing) To  smoke?  Do!  I  don't  mind  a  bit,  you'll 
find  The  Field  and  Punch  on  the  table  there.  I'm 
going  to  read,  too.  (She  comes  back  to  settee  and 
settles  down  to  her  book  again,  leaving  JIMMY 
baffled  and  speechless.  There  is  a  slight  pause. 
Then  JIMMY  lights  a  cigarette,  picks  up  "Punch" 
from  table,  glances  at  it,  but  evidently  without  read- 
ing it.  He  then  glances  round  at  PEGGY,  and  then 
again  scratches  his  head  in  a  puzzled  fashion  and 
thinks.  Suddenly  he  smiles  as  though  a  fresh  idea 
had  struck  him.  He  throws  down  his  paper,  settles 
his  tie  again,  pulls  down  his  waistcoat,  with  the  old 
confident  air,  then  sighs  and  mutters  gloomily.) 

JIMMY.  (With  mock  dejection)  Ah,  well.  Just 
my  luck!  Jolly  hard  lines,  though. 

PEGGY.  (Turning,  politely)  I'm  sorry.  I  was 
reading.  What  did  you  say  ? 

JIMMY.  Oh,  nothing,  nothing.  I  was  only  think- 
ing. (He  thrusts  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  and 
stares  at  the  ground  despondently.) 

PEGGY.    Do  you  always  think  out  loud,  like  that  ? 

JIMMY.  Yes,  often — (Sighs  heavily.)  often. 
(Sits  dejectedly  on  table  c.) 

PEGGY.     What's  the  matter? 

JIMMY.  Oh,  I  was  only  thinking  that  it  was 
awfully  rough  on  me,  for  my  people  to  have  "  put 
you  off  me  "  as  they  seem  to  have  done.  I  mightn't 
have  struck  you  as  a  bad  sort  of  chap,  if  they 
hadn't. 


42  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

PEGGY.  (Hiding  a  smile)  Oh,  it  wouldn't  have 
made  any  difference,  really, — I  always  judge  for 
myself. 

JIMMY.  (Ignoring  this  "  dig  ")  You  know,  no- 
body has  ever  understood  me. 

PEGGY.  (Consolingly)  Oh,  perhaps  they  did,  but 
didn't  like  to  hurt  your  feelings  by  saying  what  they 
really  thought  about  you. 

JIMMY.  (Wincing  a  bit,  but  sticking  to  it)  All  I 
want  is  a  little  sympathy.  That's  all, — just  a  little 
sympathy. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  if  that's  all  you  want, — /  can  prom- 
ise you  that. 

JIMMY.  (Springing  up  and  coming  to  back  of 
settee)  By  Jove,  do  you  mean  you'll  let  me  talk  to 
you,  and 

PEGGY.  Oh,  much  better  than  that.  If  you  really 
want  sympathy  and  all  that  (Confidentially.) — you 
go  into  the  conservatory  after  dinner  to-night  — 

JIMMY.  (Leaning  toward  her,  eagerly)  Yes, 
yes ? 

PEGGY.  — And  have  a  nice,  long,  quiet  talk  with 
— mother. 

JIMMY.  (His  jaw  dropping)  What?  .  .  . 
Well,  I'm (Sits  completely  baffled  and  speech- 
less. ) 

(Enter  PARKER  carrying  salver  on  which  is  package, 
he  comes  to  PEGGY.) 

PARKER.  (Coming  down  to  back  of  settee  and 
holding  out  salver)  This  has  just  come  for  you, 
miss.  (PEGGY  takes  it,  and  PARKER  exits  at  back.) 

PEGGY.  (Excitedly)  Oh,  it's  the  first  ten  chap- 
ters of  my  novel  from  the  typist's.  (She  opens  and 
begins  to  feverishly  turn  over  the  sheets.) 

JIMMY.    Really,  I'd  no  idea  that 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  43 

PEGGY.  (Breathlessly,  without  looking  up}  Oh, 
do  keep  quiet  for  a  minute,  please. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  I'm  sorry.  (He  walks  away  R.  and 
then  turns  and  watches  her,  puzzled,  as  he  smokes 
between  table  c.  and  settee.} 

PEGGY.  (Disgustedly,  as  she  reads')  Oh,  it  looks 
worse  than  ever  in  type.  This  won't  do  a  bit. 
(Looking  up — irritably.}  Men  simply  drive  me 
frantic.  They  won't  talk. 

JIMMY.  I'm  sorry,  but  I  thought  you  asked  me 
not  to  talk. 

PEGGY.  (Impatiently}  Oh,  I  didn't  mean  you. 
I  was  thinking  about  my  .novel. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  so  I'm  talking  to  a  lady  novelist,  am 
I? 

PEGGY.  There!  (Stamping  her  foot.}  That's 
exactly  what  I  don't  want  people  to  find  out.  I  can 
manage  the  women  all  right,  but  when  it  comes  to 
the  love  scenes,  my  men  are  simply  silly. 

JIMMY.  Well,  that  sounds  all  right.  There's 
nothing  much  wrong  with  that. 

PEGGY.  No,  no,  I'm  not  joking,  really.  I  simply 
can't  get  this  bit  right.  (Springing  up  impulsively 
and  sitting  up  on  end  of  settee  and  saying  all  in  a 
breath.}  Oh,  how  does  a  man  begin  to  make  love 
to  a  girl  he's  fallen  in  love  with  at  first  sight,  when 
he's  never  seen  her  in  his  life  before  ? 

JIMMY.  (Putting  his  hand  to  his  forehead,  puz- 
zled, staring  at  her}  What  was  that? 

PEGGY.    (Impatiently}    Well,  you  ought  to  know. 

JIMMY.    I? 

PEGGY.  Yes,  you're  a  man.  Besides,  I'm  per- 
fectly certain,  after  the  last  half-hour,  that  you've 
made  love  heaps  of  times. 

JIMMY.     (Protesting}    Here,  I  say 

PEGGY.  Oh,  don't  waste  time.  Now,  supposing 
you  were  in  this  man's  shoes,  how  would  you  begin  ? 

JIMMY.     How  should  I  begin —         (He  stops 


44  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

short  as  a  thought  strikes  him,  then  puts  down  his 
cigarette,  smiles,  puts  his  tie  straight,  pulls  down  his 
waistcoat  as  before — and  then  turns  to  PEGGY  with 
an  intensely  serious  expression.)  Well, — I  think  I 
should  begin  by  saying :  "  I've  been  looking  for  you 
for  years."  Then  I  should  take  hold  of  her  hand, 

like  this (He  takes  hold  of  PEGGY'S  hand,  but 

she  pulls  it  away  sharply.) 

PEGGY.  (Shaking  her  head,  knowingly)  No, 
thank  you.  I  know  that  way.  In  another  minute 
you'll  be  calling  me  "  Peggy,"  and  pretending  you'd 
"  lost  yourself  in  your  part."  In  five  minutes  you'd 
be No,  thank  you,  let's  try  another  way. 

JIMMY.  (Giving  it  up  and  becoming  quite  natu- 
ral and  serious)  What  an  extraordinary  girl  you 
are. 

PEGGY.  Yes,  but  about  this  man.  Now,  he's 
fallen  in  love  at  first  sight 

JIMMY.    Ptcha!    There  isn't  such  a  thing. 

PEGGY.  What?  But,  this  man  (Tapping  her 
manuscript. )  has  fallen  in  love  at  first  sight,  so  there 
must  be. 

JIMMY.  What  I  mean  is,  it  isn't  love  at  "  first 
sight,"  it  doesn't  begin  then.  What  a  chap  feels 
about  a  girl,  has  been  there  all  the  time.  It's  only 
been  waiting  until  the  right  woman  comes  along,  to 
bring  it  out. 

PEGGY.  (Clapping  her  hands)  Oh,  that'll  do 
beautifully. 

JIMMY.     (Puzzled)    Do?    What  for? 

PEGGY.    For  my  book.    Do  lend  me  a  pencil 

JIMMY.  (Hunting  in  his  pockets)  'Fraid  I 
haven't  got  one. 

PEGGY.  Bother,  I  wanted  to  make  a  note  of  it, 
before  I  forget  it.  I  shall  let  my  man  say  that  to  the 
girl.  It's  a  lovely  idea.  (Suddenly  springing  up 
impulsively  and  scattering  her  manuscript  on  the 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  45 

floor.}  Oh,  I  wonder  if  you'd  mind  helping  me 
with  another  man,  who's  worrying  me? 

JIMMY.    'Course  I  will.    Trot  him  out. 

PEGGY.  {Jumping  up  impulsively')  He's  in  an- 
other story — I'll  go  and  get  the  manuscript.  It's  in 
my  room.  (She  crosses  R.  in  front  of  table  and 
runs  to  the  staircase,  talking  as  she  runs.}  I  won't 
keep  you  a  minute.  I  know  exactly  where  to  put  my 

hands  on  it, — don't  go, — I'll  be  back  directly 

(She  runs  off  talking,  through  archway  L.  on  land- 
ing. JIMMY  watches  her  off  and  then  turns  c.  with 
a  puzzled  frown  on  his  face,  and  stands  thinking. 
Enter  MILLICENT  through  door,  or  archway  L.) 

MILLICENT.  (Looking  round}  Oh!  Are  you 
alone,  Jimmy  ?  I  thought  Miss  O'Mara  was  here. 

JIMMY.  (Shortly}  She  was  a  minute  ago.  (He 
turns  away  L.  with  his  hands  in  his  pockets,  and 
crosses  to  fireplace,  where  he  kicks  a  footstool 
viciously  up  stage.} 

MILLICENT.  (Leaning  back  of  settee}  What's 
the  matter?  Wasn't  she  "dazzled"? 

JIMMY.  (Wheeling  round  angrily}  Look  here, 
stop  that,  Milly,  I — I — well,  stop  it; — that  game's 
off. 

MILLICENT.    "  Off  "  ?    Do  you  mean  she ? 

JIMMY.  (Decidedly}  I  mean  I'm  not  going  on 
with  it.  It's  off,  I  tell  you,  and  I'd  like  to  kick  my- 
self for  ever  listening  to  it,  for  a  minute.  (He 
flings  himself  down  on  settee,  angrily.} 

MILLICENT.  (Backing  a  few  paces}  Jimmy,  you 
don't  mean  to  say  she  saw  through  it? 

JIMMY.  (Twisting  round  and  facing  her}  Good 
Lord,  no!  She's  much  too  decent  a  girl  to  see 
through  a  shabby  scheme  like  that,  thank  goodness. 
Why  the  deuce  did  you  all  let  me  in  for  it,  by  mak- 
ing me  think  she  was  a  regular  wrong  'un? 

MILLICENT.     /  didn't. 

JIMMY.     (Indignantly}     No,  but  the  others  did. 


46  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

You  might  have  given  me  the  tip.  Why,  she's — 
well,  all  I  can  say  is,  if  Anthony  can  get  a  girl  like 
that  to  marry  him,  he'll  be  a  jolly  lucky  beggar, — 
and  you  can  tell  the  mater  so,  from  me. 

MILLICENT.  (Alarmed)  I  shall  do  nothing  of 
the  kind.  I've  had  an  awful  time  with  mother, 
lately.  Don't  say  anything  like  this  to  her,  or- 

JIMMY.  (Starting  up}  Well  then,  where's 
Uncle  Archie? 

MILLICENT.  He's  just  driven  off  to  the  station. 
He's  off  to  town  for  a  few  days. 

JIMMY.  {Striding  angrily  across  R.  and  back 
again,  as  he  talks)  Confound  it,  I'd  like  to  have 
told  him  what  I  thought  of  him.  It's  no  use,  I'm 

going  to  wash  my  hands  of  the  whole  business 

(Wheeling  round  at  fireplace.)  Where's  the  mater? 

MILLICENT.  (Appealingly  over  the  back  of  the 
settee)  No,  no,  Jimmy,  please.  "  Wash  your 
hands  "  as  much  as  you  like,  but  don't  tell  mother 
that  you're  "  washing  "  them. 

JIMMY.    Why  shouldn't  I  ? 

MILLICENT.  Well,  my  life  simply  won't  be  worth 
living  if  you  do,  so  do  let  her  think  you're  helping 
us,  for  a  day  or  two,  for  my  sake. 

JIMMY.  (Grumbling')  Oh,  very  well,  but  I  mean 
it,  you  know.  It's  off.  (Sitting  down  on  lower  end 
of  settee.)  That  girl's  a  brick,  and  if  I  were  in 
Anthony's  shoes,  and  she'd  have  me,  by  gad,  I — I'd 
marry  her  next  week. 

MILLICENT.  (Going  round  upper  end  of  settee 
and  coming  down  behind  JIMMY  with  her  hands  on 
his  shoulders  and  her  cheek  against  his,  and  saying 
roguishly)  You  might  manage  to  do  that  without 
being  in  Anthony's  shoes,  if  you  talked  to  Peggy 
O'Mara  like  that.  (Turns  and  crosses  quickly  to 
door  up  L.) 

JIMMY.  (Turning,  astonished)  What?  (Start- 
ing up  as  though  to  follow  MILLICENT.)  Here, 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  47 

Milly,  stop (MILLICENT  exits  and  shuts  the 

door  sharply.  JIMMY  slowly  turns  c.  looking  thor- 
oughly startled.  Slowly  beginning  to  smile.)  By 
Jove!  If  she's  right,  I'll (He  adjusts  his  col- 
lar and  tie,  and  pulls  down  his  waistcoat,  as  before.) 

(Ree'nter  PEGGY  on  landing,  with  manuscript  in  her 
hand. ) 

PEGGY.  (Talking  as  she  hurries  across  landing, 
and  comes  running  downstairs)  So  sorry  to  have 
been  so  long,  but  my  papers  were  in  such  a  muddle. 
(She  comes  L.  and  sits  down  on  settee  and  sorts 
her  papers,  and  then  suddenly  looks  up.)  Oh!  be- 
fore I  forget  it.  Just  tell  me  again  how  you  worded 
that  little  bit  about  love  at  first  sight.  (She  gets 
her  pencil  ready.) 

JIMMY.     (Laughing)     I  haven't  an  idea. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  don't  tell  me  that.  Why,  you  must 
have  said  it  to  heaps  of  girls,  to  have  had  it  off  so 
pat. 

JIMMY.  No, — on  my  soul,  I  never  said  it  in  my 
life  before. 

PEGGY.  What,  do  you  really  mean  that  a  lovely 
idea  like  that  just — rolled  out,  by  accident? 

JIMMY.  (Looking  at  her  meaningly)  Perhaps 
it  wasn't — "  by  accident." 

PEGGY.  (Going  down  on  her  knees  near  settee, 
and  picking  manuscript  from  floor)  Then  how  did 
it  happen? 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  to  L.  of  her)  Perhaps 
you  brought  it  out.  (Slowly  and  seriously.)  Per- 
haps what  I  said  about  "  love  at  first  sight,"  applied 
to  me — and  you ! 

PEGGY.  What?  (Looking  swiftly  up,  still  on 
her  knees.  Pause.  They  look  at  each  other  in  si- 
lence for  a  moment,  then  reenter  MRS.  O'MARA  on 
the  landing.) 


48  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Calling  over  banisters)  Peggy, 
what  are  ye  doin'?  (PEGGY  and  JIMMY  start 
and  look  round,  and  PEGGY  rises.  From  landing.) 
Come  up  to  the  study  this  minute.  His  lordship 
wants  ye  to  look  through  the  microscope  at  the 
bristles  on  that  spider's  left  hind  leg. 

PEGGY.  (Impatiently,  as  she  crosses  to  table  c. 
with  her  papers  in  her  hand)  All  right,  mother,  I'll 
come  directly. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  "  Directly  "  is  no  time.  Ye  must 
come  just  now. 

ANTHONY.  (0^  L.)  Mrs.  O'Mara,  you  can  see 
them  better  now,  be  quick,  be  quick. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Turning  distractedly)  Oh-h-h! 
(As  she  turns  to  go  back  to  the  study,  L.,  she  calls 
down.)  Come  up,  Peggy,  this  minute.  (Exit  L.) 

JIMMY.  (Leaning  over  back  of  settee  and  watch- 
ing PEGGY  keenly)  Do  you  wish  to  go  up  to  An- 
thony, Miss  O'Mara? 

PEGGY.  (Decisively)  Of  course  not.  (She  sits 
on  chair  L.  of  table  frowning,  and  tapping  her  foot 
on  ground.  JIMMY  crosses  to  her — she  turns 
sharply  as  he  is  about  to  speak  and  asks  abruptly.) 
Are  you  any  good  at  plots? 

JIMMY.  (Starting  guiltily  and  turning  his  eyes 
away)  No!  I  hate 'em. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  I  was  wondering  if  you  could  help 
me  with  a  plot  I'm  trying  to  work  out,  just  now. 

JIMMY.  (Picking  up  a  sheet  of  her  manuscript) 
Oh,  you  mean  this  kind  of  plot? 

PEGGY.    (Stammering  guiltily)    Y-es, — of  course. 

JIMMY.  (Relieved)  Oh,  that's  all  right.  Fire 
away.  (He  sits  on  back  of  settee  facing  her.) 

PEGGY.  (Looking  at  him  quickly,  then  looking 
back  L.  to  where  her  mother  has  just  gone  out,  and 
then  looking  straight  in  front  of  her)  Now,  sup- 
posing a  girl — well,  it's  this  way; — a  girl's  mother 
wants  to  marry  her  off  to  a  man  the  girl  doesn't  like, 


ACT  i       ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  49 

and,  to  get  out  of  it,  the  girl  conceives  the  idea  of 
marrying  her  mother  to  the  man,  instead. 

JIMMY.     (Laughing)    By  Jove,  that's  a  new  idea. 

PEGGY.  Yes,  but  the  trouble  is,  that  although  the 
man  likes  the  mother,  he  won't  make  up  his  mind  to 
propose  to  her,  while  the  girl's  about,  and  the 
mother, — who's  rather  a  dear — won't  marry  any  one 
herself  until  the  girl's  married.  Now,  what  ought 
the  girl  to  do  ? 

JIMMY.  Why,  marry  some  other  chap,  that  she 
does  care  for,  of  course. 

PEGGY.  No,  no  that's  just  it,  you  see  the  girl's 
a — a — (With  a  sharp  glance  at  JIMMY.)  a — musi- 
cian, and  doesn't  want  to  marry  anybody,  she  wants 
to  be  free  to  work. 

JIMMY.  (Frowning  and  thinking}  H'm,  bit  of  a 
facer.  (Suddenly.)  By  Jove!  I  have  it.  She'll 
have  to  spoof  her  mother. 

PEGGY.  (Puzzled  and  staring  at  him)  "  Spoof 
her  mother  ?  "  What  do  you  mean  ? 

JIMMY.  Why,  don't  you  see?  She'll  have  to 
make  her  mother  believe  that  she  is  married  to  some 
one  else. 

PEGGY.  (Her  lips  parting,  her  eyes  glittering, 
drawing  in  her  breath)  Oh-h-h !  I  never  thought 
of  that. 

JIMMY.  Once  her  mother  and  the  man  think  that 
she  is  married,  they'll  marry, — and  everybody's  all 
right. 

PEGGY.  (Her  face  simply  alight  with  delight  and 
excitement)  I — I'll  do  it.  (She  jumps  up  impetu- 
ously, scattering  her  papers  all  over  the  floor,  and 
crying  out  impulsively  to  JIMMY.)  You — you  dar- 
ling! (She  puts  her  hands  on  his  shoulders  and 
kisses  him  in  her  delight  and  excitement.  Then 
suddenly  realizing  what  she  has  done,  stands  petri- 
.fied,  close  to  him,  staring  with  comic  horror  straight 
in  his  eyes,  with  her  hand  over  her  mouth.  Tt-...-c 


50  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY       ACT  i 

is  a  second's  pause,  and  they  stare  into  each  other's 
eyes,  then  PEGGY  shrinks  back  with  a  horrified  cry. ) 
Oh,  what  have  I  done?  (Backing  away  from  him.} 
I  never  thought  what  I  was  doing!  I — I'm  always 
doing  things  like  that  (Hastily  correcting  herself.), 
— no,  no,  no,  I  didn't  mean  that — I (  Very  con- 
fused.) Oh!  what  will  you  think  of  me? 

JIMMY.  (Moving  toward  her,  smiling) 
"  Think  "  ?  (Advancing  a  step  as  though  to  take 
hold  of  her.) 

PEGGY.  (Alarmed)  I — I  think  it's  time  I  went 
to  mother.  (She  turns,  and  wnkes  a  bolt  for  the 
staircase,  and  runs  up  the  first  Jut/ht  hurriedly,  turn- 
ing and  speaking  over  banisters  from  the  top.)  I 
didn't  mean  it,  really.  (She  runs  hastily  across 
landing  at  the  top,  and  then  stops,  extreme  R.,  and 
leans  over  banisters,  and  speaks  down  to  him.)  I 
— I  just — did  it, — all  of  a  sudden!  (Exits  R., 
quickly,  leaving  JIMMY  standing,  back  to  audiencet 
c.,  looking  up  after  her,  as  she  exits.) 

VERY  QUICK  CURTAIN 


ACT  II 

"  THE  SUDDENNESS  OF  CONSEQUENCES  " 

SCENE. — JIMMY'S  flat  in  London. 

TIME. — A  week  later. 


Bow  Window  1 

1  Table  1 

Door 


PLAN  OF  SCENE  OF  ACT  II 

JIMMY'S  flat  in  Town  is  a  cosily  furnished  man's 
room.  Fireplace  with  high  fender  L.,  door  be- 
tween this  and  back  wall.  Large  bow  window 
across  back,  and  another  door  down  toward 
footlights  on  L.  wall.  Settee  running  out  from 
fireplace.  Small  "smoking"  table  to  R.  of  it, 
and  armchair  R.  of  that.  Slightly  larger  table, 
settee,  and  chairs,  R.,  as  on  plan. 

51 


52  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

(At  rise  of  curtain  LUCAS  is  discovered  c.,  he  looks 
round  the  room  and  then  goes  and  lifts  up 
lower  flap  of  table,  R.,  and  as  he  does  so  door- 
bell rings  off  L.  He  exits  L.  Enter  JIMMY  in 
hat  and  carrying  light  overcoat.  He  turns  and 
calls  R.) 

JIMMY.  (Calling}  Lucas,  just  bring  that  bag 
here  a  minute,  before  you  take  it  to  my  room. 
(Throws  coat  over  chair  at  back.  Enter  LUCAS 
carrying  suit-case  seen  in  ACT  I.  JIMMY  pulls  off  his 
gloves.)  Stick  it  on  that  chair  for  a  minute.  I 
want  something  out. 

LUCAS.  (Puts  bag  on  L.  c.  chair  and  undoes  the 
catches)  I  expected  you  back  yesterday,  sir. 

JIMMY.  Yes,  I  know^  but  I  lost  the  last  train. 
(Crossing  to  bag.) 

LUCAS.  (Fidgeting  and  a  little  nervously)  It 
was  my  thinking  you'd  be  back,  sir,  that  led  me 
to 

JIMMY.  (Rummaging  in  bag,  and  not  listening 
to  him)  Oh,  by  the  way,  I  want  all  my  things 
packed  to-day,  Lucas.  I'm  clearing  out  of  here  to- 
morrow, for  good. 

LUCAS.  (Surprised)  To-morrow,  sir?  I  thought 
you  didn't  sail  until  Saturday,  sir. 

JIMMY.  (Digging  out  a  box  of  cigars  and  some 
papers)  I  don't,  but  I've  just  heard  that  your  mas- 
ter's coming  back  to  town  on  Friday.  (Putting 
cigar  box  and  papers  on  mantelshelf.)  And  as  I 
don't  want  him,  after  lending  me  his  flat  for  six 
months,  to  find  all  my  litter  about  when  he  comes 
back,  I'll  clear  out  to-morrow.  (Pointing  to  bag.) 
I've  done  with  that  now. 

LUCAS.  (Closing  bag  and  taking  it  off  chair,  pick- 
ing up  JIMMY'S  coat  and  hat,  standing  holding  them 
all)  About  last  night,  sir 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  53 

JIMMY.  (As  he  glances  at  papers  he  is  holding) 
Oh,  I  hope  you  didn't  wait  up  for  me,  did  you  ? 

LUCAS.  (Uncomfortably)  N-no,  sir,  that's  just 

what  I (The  door-bell  rings  and  LUCAS  starts 

and  listens.)  I  expect  that'll  be  the  young  lady,  sir. 

JIMMY.  (Putting  papers  on  mantelpiece,  and 
turning  sharply)  What  young  lady? 

LUCAS.  Miss  O'Mara,  sir— —  (JIMMY  starts 
and  turns  sharply.)  She  called  several  times  yes- 
terday, and  at  last (Hesitates.)  Well,  I  hope 

I  did  right,  sir.  (The  bell  rings  again  more  sharply.) 

JIMMY.     (Impatiently)     Don't  keep  her  waiting. 

LUCAS.  (Going  to  door)  But  I  just  wanted  to 
explain,  sir 

JIMMY.  Oh,  confound  your  explanations,  they'll 
keep. 

LUCAS.  (Uncomfortably)  Oh,  very  well,  sir, 
only  I (The  bell  rings  again.) 

JIMMY.  Oh,  go  to  the  door,  confound  you. 
( LUCAS  exits  with  bag.  Standing  c,  puzzled.) 
Peggy — here?  What  on  earth ? 

PEGGY.  (Off)  Oh,  he's  come?  That's  all  right. 
(There  is  a  sound  of  hurrying  feet  and  enter 
PEGGY — she  bursts  into  the  room  impulsively,  with 
a  bunch  of  flowers  in  her  hand.  She  is  looking 
bright  and  full  of  high  spirits,  but  attacks  JIMMY 
with  mock  severity  the  moment  she  is  inside  the 
door.  With  mock  severity.)  Well?  Now  what 
have  you  got  to  say  for  yourself?  Do  you  never 
come  home  until — the  next  morning?  ...  I 
wonder  you  can  look  me  in  the  face.  I've  been 
waiting  to  see  you  for  the  last  twenty-four  hours. 
Where  have  you  been?  (She  suddenly  smiles,  and 
they  shake  hands.) 

JIMMY.  (Still  holding  her  hand)  I  was  called 
away  suddenly  on  Ceylon  business. 

PEGGY.  But  you  said  you  should  be  in  town  every 
day  until  you  sailed,  or  I  shouldn't  have  come  up. 


54  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

JIMMY.  (Still  holding  her  hand)  I  thought  I 
should,  and  if  I'd  known  there  was  the  slightest 
chance  of  seeing  you 

PEGGY.  (Smiling)  There's  always  a  chance  of 
anything,  where  I'm  concerned. 

JIMMY.  Yes,  but  (Drops  her  hand,  and  looks 
away  awkwardly.)  after  your  very  definite  refusal 
of  me,  that  last  day  at  Hawkhurst,  I  thought  we'd 
said  good-bye  for  good. 

PEGGY.  (Hastily)  Yes,  but — well,  something's 
happened,  and  I  had  to  see  you.  (Goes  up  and  puts 
flowers  down  on  writing-table.) 

JIMMY.  Why  didn't  you  write,  and  let  me  know 
you  were  coming? 

PEGGY.  I  couldn't,  I  only  decided  in  the  middle 
of  the  night.  (Takes  off  her  hat  and  puts  it  on 
writing-table. ) 

JIMMY.  (Smiling)  In  fact — "  all  of  a  sudden," 
eh? 

PEGGY.  (Smiling  back)  Yes,  and  of  course  I 
had  to  pay  for  my  suddenness. 

JIMMY.     How? 

PEGGY.  Well,  just  to  think  of  poor  little  me,  all 
alone  last  night,  with  my  poor  little  nose  glued  to 
the  window,  watching  for  you  at  one  o'clock  in  the 
morning. 

JIMMY.  (Startled  and  serious)  One  o'clock  in 
the  morning?  Where?  .  .  .  What  window? 

PEGGY.  (Pointing  to  the  bow  window)  Why, 
that  window,  of  course. 

JIMMY.  (Incredulously)  That  window?  .  .  . 
Good  Lord,  but  how  did  you  get  back  to  Hawk- 
hurst? 

PEGGY.  (Easily)  I  didn't  get  back.  (Crossing 
L,.  and  fetching  two  vases  from  mantelshelf.) 

JIMMY.     Then  where  did  you  go  ? 

PEGGY.  (In  a  matter-of-fact  tone)  I  stayed 
here.  (Putting  vases  on  table,  c.) 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  55 

JIMMY.     (Almost  jumping}     Here? 

PEGGY.  Yes.  (Fetching  paper  of  flowers  from 
writing-table,  and  bringing  them  to  table.)  Didn't 
your  man  tell  you  I'd  been  here  all  night? 

JIMMY.  (Gasping}  Good  Lord,  no.  Not  a 
word !  But  what  on  earth  possessed  you  to  do  such 
a  mad  thing? 

PEGGY.  There !  That's  just  like  a  man.  When 
it  was  all  your  fault,  too. 

JIMMY.     (Bewildered)     My  fault? 

PEGGY.  (Sitting  down  L.  c.  and  arranging  flow- 
ers in  vases)  Yes,  of  course  it  was.  You  should 
have  either  come  back  in  decent  time,  or  wired,  or 
something,  and 


JIMMY.    And  surely  when  I  never  turned  up 


PEGGY.  (Impatiently)  Oh,  how  on  earth  was  I 
to  know  you'd  never  turn  up,  without  waiting  to 
see?  Do  be  reasonable. 

JIMMY.  (Crossing  to  R.)  But  to  wait  all  night! 
I  can't  for  the  life  of  me  understand  how  you  could 
dream  of 

PEGGY.  (Stamping  her  foot  impatiently)  Oh, 
wait, — listen!  I'd  been  calling  here  about  once  an 
hour,  all  day,  and  sitting  in  tea  shops  and  the  Park 
between  whiles — until  I  was  sick  of  the  sight  of 
both  of  them,  and  when  I  came  back  in  the  evening, 
for  the  eighth  time, — I  found  I'd  had  my  pocket 
picked,  and  so  I  asked  your  man  to  let  me  come  in, 
and  wait.  As  it  happened,  you'd  promised  him  the 
night  off 

JIMMY.    Yes,  yes,  so  I  did, — I  remember. 

PEGGY.  But  he  expected  you  back  every  minute, 
and  of  course  he  knew  me,  so  he  went  out,  and  I 
came  in,  and  waited. 

JIMMY.    All  alone,  here? 

PEGGY.  (Taking  vases  and  putting  them  back  on 
mantelshelf)  Oh,  I  didn't  mind  that,  I  was  only 
too  thankful  to  be  able  to  rest  on  that  comfy  sofa 


56  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

over  there,  and  I  was  so  dead  tired,  that  I  fell 
asleep, — fast  asleep,  in  fact  I  don't  remember  any- 
thing more  until  your  man  came  in  and  woke  me, 
when — to  my  horror,  it  was  after  twelve. 

JIMMY.     Good  heavens! 

PEGGY.  Well,  I  simply  couldn't  go  wandering 
about  to  find  a  room,  at  that  time  of  night.  (Sits 
on  club  fender.) 

JIMMY.     Then  what — where ? 

PEGGY.  Oh,  I  got  your  man  to  get  me  your 
slippers,  and  a  travelling  rug,  and  "  bivouac-ed  "  on 
the  sofa  there.  I  was  quite  comfy,  really. 

JIMMY.  (Crossing  L.  again,  and  standing  near 
settee — anxiously)  But,  my  dear  child,  what  about 
your  mother — the  people  at  Hawkhurst?  Do  they 
know  where  you  are? 

PEGGY.  (With  her  old  mischievous  twinkle  in 
her  eyes)  No ! 

JIMMY.  Then  what  on  earth  will  they  think  has 
become  of  you? 

PEGGY.  Oh,  that's  all  right.  You  see  (Bubbling 
with  laughter.)  they  think  I'm  married  to  you. 

JIMMY.  (Starting  violently  and  gasping) 
What!!  (He  sits  down  suddenly  and  heavily  on 
the  settee,  and  stares  at  her  with  his  mouth  open. 
PEGGY  grins  at  him  wickedly.  There  is  a  moment's 
pause,  when  LUCAS  enters,  carrying  folding  break- 
fast tray,  with  breakfast.  Dry  toast,  pot  of  honey, 
entree  dish  with  chicken,  tea,  etc.  JIMMY  turns  and 
waves  LUCAS  away,  impatiently.)  Take  that 
away.  I  don't  want  any  breakfast. 

(LUCAS  turns  and  is  about  to  go.) 

PEGGY.     (Demurely)    But  /  do,  please. 
JIMMY.     (Turning  to  her)     What,  haven't  you 
had  any?     (PEGGY  shakes  her  head.)     Here,  stop, 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  57 

Lucas.  You  can  put  that  down,  and  go  and  get 
another  cup  and  things. 

LUCAS.  (Putting  tray  on  table,  R.)  I  took  the 
liberty  of  bringing  breakfast  for  two,  sir. 

JIMMY.  (Sharply)  What?  (Shortly.}  Oh,  all 
right.  (  Turns  away,  looking  annoyed  and  troubled. ) 

(  LUCAS  arranges  the  breakfast,  and  PEGGY  fills  in 
the  pause  in  the  conversation  by  chattering 
brightly  as  she  arranges  vases  on  mantelpiece.) 

PEGGY.  These  were  the  only  flowers  I  could  af- 
ford, this  morning.  QIMMY  turns  and  watches 
her.)  That  wretched  pickpocket  only  left  me  with 
half  a  crown,  that  I  had  loose  in  the  bottom  of  my 
pocket.  That's  why  I  didn't  breakfast  out.  I  got 
these  at  Covent  Garden.  I've  had  such  a  prowl 
round.  (Stepping  back  and  surveying  her  flowers.) 
There!  They're  not  bad  for  sixpence,  are  they? 
I  spent  the  rest  of  the  half-crown  at  a  hairdresser's, 
I  couldn't  have  faced  you  without  that.  (Looking 
at  herself  in  mirror  on  table  L.  c.  and  touching  her 
hair.)  They've  made  it  a  bit  too  fluffy,  but  still  I 
don't  look  as  though  I'd  been  out  all  night,  and 
that's  something.  (  LUCAS  has  now  arranged  the 
breakfast  table  and  sets  two  chairs.  PEGGY  crosses 
and  claps  her  hands  as  he  draws  back  her  chair  for 
her.)  Oh,  breakfast.  (Sits  down  facing  audience 
and  turns  to  JIMMY.)  Come  and  sit  down,  I'm  aw- 
fully hungry. 

(JIMMY  crosses  behind  her  chair,  glares  at  LUCAS, 
and  then  sits  down  on  L.  side  of  table.) 

LUCAS.  (Taking  cover  off  entree  dish)  Fricas- 
see of  chicken,  ma'am.  (To  JIMMY.)  They  forgot 
to  send  any  fish,  sir. 

JIMMY.     (Shortly)    All  right.    You  needn't  wait. 


58  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

(PEGGY  has  poured  out  tea,  and  helped  herself  and 
JIMMY  to  fricassee  of  chicken  during  this.) 

LUCAS.    Very  good,  sir.     (Exit  LUCAS.) 

PEGGY.  (Pushing  cup  of  tea  toward  JIMMY) 
Oh,  do  wake  up.  You  don't  seem  a  bit  interested 
in  breakfast. 

JIMMY.  (Pushing  his  plate  away)  I'm  not. 
The  only  thing  that  interests  me  just  now,  is 
(  Drily. )  — our  marriage. 

PEGGY.  (Looking  up)  Our  what?  (Then  seeing 
what  he  means  and  laughing.)  Oh,  I  see — ha,  ha! 
The  salt,  please. 

JIMMY.  (Hands  the  cruet  to  her)  When  you've 
fortified  yourself  a  little,  might  I  be  allowed  to 
know  why  your  mother,  and  mine,  should  think  that 
you  and  I  are  married? 

PEGGY.  (Eating  vigorously)  Well,  it  was  your 
idea,  you  know. 

JIMMY.  (Starting  up  and  staring  at  her)  My 
idea?  Well,  I'm- — 

PEGGY.  (Holding  up  her  knife  warningly) 
Hsh!  If  only  you'd  sit  down  and  eat  something, 
you  wouldn't  want  to  say  such  dreadful  things. 
(JIMMY  stares  at  her  helplessly.)  Don't  glare  so. 
(Eating.)  This  chicken's  awfully  tough.  D'you 
mind  cutting  me  some  bread? 

JIMMY.  Eh?  Oh,  bread — certainly!  (Begin- 
ning to  cut  bread.)  This  gets  interesting. 
(Thoughtfully  carving  the  loaf.)  The  people  at 
Hawkhurst  think  we're  married,  and  it  was  my  idea. 
H'm!  (Goes  on  solemnly  cutting  slice  after  slice 
of  bread  absent-mindedly.) 

PEGGY.  (Looking  at  pile  of  slices  of  bread  he  has 
cut,  and  then  touching  his  arm,  to  attract  his  atten- 
tion) I  don't  want  much. 

JIMMY.  (Roused  as  though  awaking')  Eh  ?  Oh ! 
(Hands  her  small  piece  of  bread  and  then  asks 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF- A- SUDDEN  PEGGY  59 

calmly.)  Do  you  happen  to  have  any  other  inter- 
esting news  for  me  about  myself?  I  seem  to  be  a 
bit  behind  the  times. 

PEGGY.  Butter,  please.  (JIMMY  hands  her  but- 
ter. Buttering  some  bread.}  Speaking  of  news, — 
I  must  tell  you 

JIMMY.  (Stopping  her)  Wait  a  bit.  I  should 
like  to  get  the  hang  of  this  news  first. 

PEGGY.  Why,  don't  you  remember  helping  me 
with  that  plot,  the  day  we  first  met  at  Hawkhurst? 
(JIMMY  looks  puzzled.}  The  plot  about  a  girl  who 
wanted  to  marry  her  mother.  Why,  you  told  me 
how  to  work  it  out. 

JIMMY.  Yes,  I  remember,  but  what's  that  got  to 
do  with  all  this? 

PEGGY.  Everything.  It  was  all  true,  and  /  was 
the  girl.  (Eating.} 

JIMMY.     What? 

PEGGY.  Perhaps  you  didn't  know,  but  mother 
was  awfully  keen  on  marrying  me  to  Lord  Crack- 
enthorpe ! 

JIMMY.  (Drily}  M-m-m!  Yes,  I  sort  o'  gath- 
ered that. 

PEGGY.  Well,  really,  the  proper  person  to  marry 
him,  was  mother,  herself. 

JIMMY.     (Opening  his  eyes}     Oh!     Was  she? 

PEGGY.  Why,  they  were  simply  made  for  each 
other, — anybody  could  see  that. 

JIMMY.  (Drily}  M-m!  I  don't  believe  my 
mother  noticed  it. 

PEGGY.  Well,  the  trouble  was,  that  that  dear, 
stupid,  unselfish  little  mother  of  mine  thought  / 
ought  to  be  Lady  Crackenthorpe,  and  that  dear, 
stupid  brother  of  yours  couldn't  make  up  his  mind 
while  I  was  about,  and  there  it  stuck,  until  you  gave 
me  the  tip. 

JIMMY.     What  tip? 


60  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

PEGGY.  Why,  to  make  them  both  believe  that 
I'd  married  somebody  else,  of  course. 

JIMMY.  (The  whole  thing  striking  him  in  a 
flash)  By  Jove!  Then  d'you  mean  you've  made 
'em  all  believe  you're  married  to  me? 

PEGGY.  (Quaintly)  Yes.  I  ran  away  with  you, 
— yesterday. 

JIMMY.     (Gasping — feebly)    The  deuce  you  did ! 

PEGGY.  (Laughing  at  him)  You'd  better  have 
something,  really.  I  haven't  half  finished  yet. 
Have  some  coffee? 

JIMMY.  No,  nothing  but  a  brandy  and  soda'd  be 
any  good  to  me,  now.  Phew !  (Dabs  his  brow  with 
handkerchief.  Crosses  behind  her  chair,  up  to  win- 
dow, agitatedly,  and  then  comes  down  to  L.  of  her 
chair.)  It  mayn't  strike  you  as  any  business  of 
mine,  but,  may  I  know  where  we're  supposed  to  be 
now? 

PEGGY.  I'm  not  sure; — Paris,  I  should  think, 
shouldn't  you? 

JIMMY.  Eh?  (Giving  himself  up  to  it.)  Oh, 
yes,  yes, — 'likely  place  for  a  sudden  honeymoon.  I 
suppose  we  are  on  our  honeymoon,  aren't  we? 

PEGGY.  (Changing  her  plate)  Well,  I'm  not 
quite  sure  whether  it's  called  a  honeymoon  when 
people  elope,  and  get  married  at  a  registry  office. 

JIMMY.  (Grimly)  Oh,  so  we  were  married  at 
a  registry  office,  were  we?  (PEGGY  nods.)  Any 
particular  registry  office,  may  I  ask? 

PEGGY.  (Promptly)  Yes,  the  one  in  Mount 
Street,  here,  of  course. 

JIMMY.    Oh,  of  course,  I  might  ha'  known. 

PEGGY.  (Rattling  on,  as  she  butters  her  bread) 
You  know,  when  I  got  up  to  town  yesterday  morn- 
ing— (Breaking  off.)  of  course  I  slipped  out  of  the 
house  at  Hawkhurst,  before  any  one  was  up.  I  did 
the  whole  thing  just  as  though  I  really  were  elop- 
ing, you  know. 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  61 

JIMMY.  What,  down  to  the  thick  veil,  dressing- 
bag,  and  a  farewell  letter  left  in  your  bedroom  ? 

PEGGY.  (Nodding  brightly}  Yes.  (Putting  down 
her  knife  and  fork.)  I'm  tired  of  wrestling  with 
this  chicken.  Is  there  any  marmalade? 

JIMMY.  (Crossing  to  table  and  picking  up  pot, 
and  reading  label)  Oh,  honey.  (Brings  it  to  her.) 
Most  d  propos — under  the  circumstances. 

PEGGY.  (Laughs  and  looking  up  at  him)  Spoon, 
please.  QIMMY  hands  her  a  spoon.  PEGGY  laughs 
and  helps  herself  to  some  honey.)  Do  smoke,  if  you 
won't  eat,  then  I  sha'n't  feel  I  have  to  hurry. 

JIMMY.  Thanks.  (Goes  up  and  gets  cigarette 
from  box  on  •writing-table.')  Well,  you  left  the 
usual  letter  for  your  mother,  and 

PEGGY.  (Interrupting)  No,  not  for  mother, — 
it  was  for  Lord  Crackenthorpe. 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  R.  of  table,  surprised) 
For  Anthony  ?  .  .  .  Why  on  earth  did  you  write 
to  him? 

PEGGY.  (Chuckling  aver  her  bread  and  honey) 
Oh,  that  was  a  great  move. 

JIMMY.  How?  (Sits  down  again  on  settee  on 
PEGGY'S  R.) 

PEGGY.  Well,  you  see,  I  pretended  in  my  letter 
to  him  that  I  daren't  tell  mother,  and  begged  him  to 
break  the  news  to  her,  and — (With  a  wicked 
twinkle.)  comfort  her.  See? 

JIMMY.  I  should  think  I  do!  Anthony  as  the 
sympathetic  friend,  stroking  your  mother's  hand. 
Your  mother  breaking  down,  and  weeping  on  An- 
thony's shoulder ; — I  should  think  I  do  see. 

PEGGY.  (Eating  bread  and  honey  complacently 
and  smiling)  Yes !  I  think  it  was  a  brilliant  idea 
of  yours. 

JIMMY.  Eh?  (Starting  up.)  Of  mine?  Oh, 
that's  right,  put  it  down  to  me.  (Crosses  L.  c.) 

PEGGY.    Well,  I  don't  want  to  take  all  the  credit. 


62  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

JIMMY.  (Turning  and  looking  at  her — drily) 
Or  the  consequences,  eh  ? 

PEGGY.  (Lightly)  Oh,  let  the  consequences  take 
care  of  themselves. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  by  all  means,  let  'em,  if  they  only 
will. 

PEGGY.  (Thoughtfully)  I  wish  mother  would 
write. 

JIMMY.  I  wonder  she  hasn't  turned  up  here,  be- 
fore now. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  I  wired  to  prevent  that,  yesterday 
morning. 

JIMMY.  Awkward  thing  to  put  in  a  wire,  wasn't 
it? 

PEGGY.  (Cheerfully)  Not  a  bit.  I  just  put 
"  Married— Mount  Street— Registry  Office.  Off 
away — good-bye — Peggy. " 

JIMMY.  (Gazing  at  her)  You  are  a  marvel! 
.  .  .  Then, — "  the  rest  is  silence  ?  " 

PEGGY.  Yes,  but  she's  sure  to  write  here,  and 
ask  them  to  forward  her  letter.  I'm  simply  dying 
to  know  what's  happened. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  you'll  know  soon  enough.  In  the 
meantime  it's  a  trifling  and  totally  unimportant  mat- 
ter, but — what  price  me  ? 

PEGGY.    How  d'you  mean? 

JIMMY.  Well,  seeing  I'm  supposed  to  have  bolted 
with  you,  I'm  in  the  limelight  now.  What  is  my 
precise  position?  'Seems  to  me  you've  landed  both 
of  us  into  a  pretty  tight  place. 

PEGGY.  Well,  that's  rather  where  I  thought  you'd 
come  in. 

JIMMY.     Oh, — how? 

PEGGY.     By  finding  a  way  out  of  it. 

JIMMY.  (Drily)  Oh,  I  thought  I  should  come  in 
somewhere.  (Looks  at  her  and  shakes  his  head.) 
You  know,  you  ought  to  have  let  me  into  this  before. 
You  ought,  really. 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  63 

PEGGY.  That  means  you  think  I've  been  horrid 
about  it. 

JIMMY.  Not  a  bit,  only  seeing  I  was  playing  a 
star  part 

PEGGY.  (Hastily)  Oh!  But  I  never  intended 
you  to  play  any  part  at  all,  until  two  days  ago.  But 
things  had  reached  a  crisis,  and  something  had  to 
be  done  quickly.  I  was  desperate,  and  you  weren't 
there  to  ask,  there  was  no  one  else,  and  I — well,  I 
did  it.  (Rises,  throws  down  her  table  napkin  and 
crosses  up  to  window-seat.) 

JIMMY.  (Amused,  in  spite  of  himself)  "All  of 
a  sudden,"  once  more,  eh  ? 

PEGGY.  (Sitting  on  R.  corner  of  window-seat) 
I  simply  hated  myself  for  having  dragged  you  into 
it,  when  it  was  too  late. 

JIMMY.  (Easily)  Oh,  that's  all  right.  (Goes 
up  and  sits  on  window-seat  near  her.) 

PEGGY.  (Impulsively)  No,  it  isn't.  When  I 
came  to  think  things  over,  in  your  room  here  yester- 
day, I  was  so  wild  with  myself  that  I — I  decided  I 
would  marry  you,  as  you  asked  me  to  at  Hawkhurst. 

JIMMY.     (Leaning  toward  her,  eagerly)     Peggy! 

PEGGY.  (Holding  up  hand)  No,  that  was  last 
night.  Now  that  the  excitement  has  worn  off,  I  can 
see  it  wouldn't  be  fair  to  you. 

JIMMY.  Fair  to  me?  Look  here,  I'm  the  best 
judge  of  that. 

PEGGY.  No,  you're  not.  (JIMMY  is  about  to 
speak.)  No,  Jimmy,  I  know  myself.  Unless  I 
loved  a  man  more  than  I  feel  I  ever  shall  love  any- 
body, I  should  make  his  life  a  little — (With  a  sig- 
nificant nod.)  you  know  what!  (Lays  her  hand  on 
his  arm. )  I  like  you  far  too  much  to  risk  that.  It's 
no  use,  I'm  too  much  in  love  with  my  writing. 

JIMMY.  But,  look  here,  so  long  as  I  should  be 
satisfied 

PEGGY.     But  you   wouldn't.     Men   always   say 


64  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

they'll  be  satisfied  with  "  half  a  loaf,"  beforehand, 

but  unless  they  get  the  whole  loaf,  afterwards,  they 

always  end  by  chipping  a  piece  off  some  one  else's. 

JIMMY.     (Beginning  to  protest)     No,  no— — 

(Enter  LUCAS,  L.,  with  salver  on  which  he  carries 
newspaper  and  some  letters.  He  crosses  to 
JIMMY.) 

LUCAS.  (Holding  out  tray)  Beg  pardon,  sir,  I 
quite  forgot.  Your  letters  and  the  morning  paper. 

JIMMY.  (Impatiently)  All  right.  Put  them 
down  on  the  table,  anywhere. 

(  LUCAS  places  letters  and  newspaper  on  table  L.  c. 
and  exits.) 

PEGGY.  (Crossing  hastily  and  looking  through 
letters  left  by  LUCAS)  Jimmy,  here's  a  letter  from 
Major  Phipps ;  I  know  the  writing.  Do  open  it,  and 
see  if  there's  any  news  about  mother.  Be  quick ! 

JIMMY.  (Comes  down  on  her  R.,  takes  and  opens 
letter,  glances  through — and  then  suddenly  his  eyes 
start,  and  his  whole  face  changes — staring  at  letter) 
The  devil!  (Then  furiously.)  The  fool!  Oh-h-h! 
The  meddling  old  fool. 

PEGGY.  (Indignantly)  How  dare  you  speak  of 
mother  like  that? 

JIMMY.  Oh,  I'm  not  talking  about  your  mother, 
— it's  Uncle  Archie.  (Points  to  letter  and  simply 
choking  with  rage.)  He — he  thinks  we  are  mar- 
ried! 

PEGGY.     Well,  of  course  he  does. 

JIMMY.    Yes,  but — he's  stuck  it  in  the  paper ! 

PEGGY.     You  don't  mean  it. 

JIMMY.  (Furiously)  Yes,  the  old  ass  says  he 
was  lunching  yesterday  with  a  chap  on  the  Morning 
Post,  and  asked  him  to  work  in  a  special  paragraph, 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  65 

— some  rot  about  having  done  it  "  for  the  good  of 

the  family  "  to  stop  people  talking (Breaking 

off  and  handing  PEGGY  the  letter.)  Oh-h-h!  The 
old  fool.  (Crumples  up  envelope  and  hurls  it  into 
fireplace,  and  paces  up  and  down  furiously. ) 

PEGGY.  (Glances  through  letter  and  then  turns 
to  table)  Is  that  the  Morning  Post?  (Picks  up 
newspaper.)  Yes,  let's  look.  (They  both  try  to 
open  newspaper  different  ways  at  same  time.  PEGGY 
gets  sole  possession,  looks  down  and  exclaims.) 
Here  it  is. 

JIMMY.  (Looking  over  her  shoulder)  Where? 
Where? 

PEGGY.     (Pointing)    There ! 

(  JIM  MY  catches  hold  of  one  side  of  the  paper,  and 
PEGGY  holds  the  other.  They  stand  reading  it, 
with  their  heads  close  together.) 

JIMMY.  (Reading  out  the  paragraph)  "  We  are 
informed  that  the  Hon.  James  Keppel,  second  son 
of  the  late  Lord  Crackenthorpe  and  brother  of  the 
present  peer,  was  married — (They  pause,  and  look 
at  each  other.)  privately  yesterday  to  Peggy,  only 
daughter  of  the  late  Professor  O'Mara,  F.  R.  S., 
the  eminent  authority  on  Trap-door  spiders.  The 
ceremony  was  quite  private,  and  the  happy  couple 
have  left  for  the  Continent,  en  route  for  the  bride- 
groom's tea  plantations  in  Ceylon."  (They  turn  and 
look  at  each  other.  Unable  to  express  himself.) 
There !  What  d'you  think  of  it  ? 

PEGGY.  (Dropping  her  side  of  the  paper,  drop- 
ping on  to  settee,  and  going  off  into  an  uncontrolla- 
ble fit  of  laughter)  Oh,  ha,  ha,  ha,  ha!  (She 
laughs  until  she  becomes  quite  hysterical  and  she 
cries  with  laughter,  and  sits  down  drying  her  eyes.) 

JIMMY.  (Watching  her  with  a  terribly  serious 
face,  and  when  her  laughing  fit  has  exhausted  itself, 


66  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

speaking  grimly)  It  may  strike  you  as  funny  to 
read  about  your  wedding  in  the  paper,  but,  perhaps 
you  can  tell  me,  what  we  are  going  to  do  now  ? 

PEGGY.  (Still  laughing  in  spasms  and  wiping 
eyes)  Oh,  ha,  ha,  ha! 

JIMMY.  (Holding  out  newspaper)  Do  you  real- 
ize that  this  wretched  paper  will  be  on  half  the 
breakfast  tables  in  London  ?  How  in  the  world  are 
we  going  to  contradict  it? 

PEGGY.  (Sharply)  We're  not  going  to  contra- 
dict it, — yet. 

JIMMY.     Nonsense ! 

PEGGY.  (Decisively)  Not  until  I  hear  about 
mother.  Why,  it  would  spoil  everything. 

JIMMY.     (Protesting)    But,  can't  you  see  — 

(Enter  LUCAS.) 
LUCAS.     (Announcing)     Mr.  Menzies! 

(Enter  JACK  MENZIES,  dressed  entirely  in  black, 
carrying  silk  hat.) 

JACK.  (Comes  in  breezily)  My  dear  old  chap, 
this  is  splendid.  (Slapping  JIMMY  on  shoulder — to 
PEGGY.)  How  d'you  do,  Mrs.  Keppel?  (JIMMY 
starts  at  the  "Mrs.  Keppel,"  and  turning  away 
viciously,  slaps  his  L.  hand  with  folded  newspaper, 
but  JACK  doesn't  notice.  Vigorously  shaking 
PEGGY'S  hand.)  Hearty  congratulations  !  Jimmy's 
one  o' the  best.  (Shaking  his  fist  at  JIMMY.)  You 
old  ruffian,  to  leave  me  to  find  it  out  from  the  paper. 
Hullo,  (Pointing  with  his  stick  to  newspaper  in 
JIMMY'S  hand.)  havin'  a  look  at  it  yourself — what? 
(Poking  him  in  the  ribs  with  his  stick.)  Good  luck, 
old  man ;  well  now,  come  along,  let's  know  all  about 
it.  (Sits  on  chair  R.  of  table  L.  c.  PEGGY  sitting 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  67 

on  settee  on  his  L.)  When  did  it  come  off? — Out 
with  it. 

JIMMY.  (The  first  chance  he  has  had  of  speak- 
ing") Look  here,  Jack,  it's  all 

PEGGY.  (Cutting  in  desperately  and  drowning 
JIMMY)  No,  no,  Mr.  Menzies,  we're  not  going  to 
tell  you  about  what's  over.  It's — (Looking  at 
JIMMY  meaningly.)  it's  our  little  secret. 

JIMMY.  (Impatiently)  Nonsense!  Listen,  Jack, 
I  want  to  explain 

PEGGY.  (Decisively  to  JIMMY)  No,  Jimmy,  I 
insist. 

JIMMY.     (Protesting)    But 

PEGGY.  (Strongly)  There  are  no  "  buts  "  about 
it.  I  say — no! 

JACK.  (Applauding  with  his  stick  on  the  floor 
and  chuckling)  Bravo!  Mrs.  Keppel,  that's  the 
style.  You  start  as  you  mean  to  go  on.  Jimmy's 
wanted  keepin'  in  order  for  a  long  time.  (Looking 
at  his  watch.)  But,  look  here,  let's  talk  about  the 
future,  that's  what  I  came  in  about,  really.  (Rushes 
on  from  this  point  to  his  exit,  without  a  break,  or 
giving  any  one  a  chance  to  get  in  a  single  word.} 
'Fact  is,  Jimmy,  you'll  hardly  believe  it,  but — the 
old  man's  gone.  Died  yesterday  afternoon — poor 
old  chap.  Just  off  to  see  the  lawyers  now.  Haven't 
a  minute,  but  I  felt  I  must  slip  in  to  say  that  the 
Land  Agent's  berth  is  yours,  so  you  can  cable  out 
to  Ceylon,  and  tell  'em  to  go  to  the  deuce.  (Turns 
to  PEGGY.)  Excuse  me,  Mrs.  Keppel,  but  I'm  a  bit 
excited.  Jimmy's  an  old  pal  o'  mine,  and  I've  been 
sick  to  get  this  billet  here  at  home  for  him,  for 
years.  'Course  now  he's  married,  it's  for  you  to 
decide,  so  talk  it  over,  and  settle  it  between  you. 
(Backing  to  the  door.}  No,  no,  don't  move,  go  on 
with  your  breakfast,  let  myself  out.  I'll  either  come 
back  in  half  an  hour,  or  ring  you  up  on  the  tele- 
phone, to  hear  your  decision.  Good-bye.  Good-bye, 


68  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

Jimmy.  Good-bye,  Mrs.  Keppel.  (Rushes  out  and 
bangs  door,  leaving  PEGGY  and  JIMMY  gasping  and 
speechless — pause — they  look  at  each  other.*) 

PEGGY.  (Taking  a  long  breath)  Oh-h-h! 
(Laughs.)  "  Mrs.  Keppel!  "  Did  you  hear  him? 

JIMMY.  (Irritably)  Of  course  I  heard  him. 
Why  didn't  you  let  me  tell  him?  What  on  earth 
am  I  to  say  to  him  now  ? 

PEGGY.  Oh,  you'll  take  his  offer,  of  course. 
Why,  you've  been  simply  aching  for  it,  and  now 
you  won't  have  to  go  back  to  that  horrid  Ceylon. 
How  lovely  for  you ! 

JIMMY.  (Interrupting)  Oh,  I'm  not  thinking 
about  that,  I'm  thinking  about  Jack.  (Suddenly.) 
Why,  he'll  be  telling  half  London  he's  been  here,  and 
seen  us.  I  must  stop  him.  (Runs  to  bow  window.) 
There  he  is,  getting  into  a  hansom.  Hi,  Jack,  half 
a  minute,  Jack.  (JIMMY  rushes  across  room  L., 
throwing  newspaper  on  to  settee  as  he  passes,  and 
exits  L.) 

PEGGY.  (Stands  for  a  moment  c.,  then  runs  up 
to  bow  window,  and  looks  down  into  street  and  ex- 
claims) Ah,  he's  too  late.  That's  all  right.  (Turns 
back  into  room  smiling.  Enter  LUCAS  with  letter 
on  tray.  Eagerly.)  Oh,  is  that  for  me? 

LUCAS.  No,  miss, — that  is,  it's  addressed  "  Mrs. 
Keppel."  (Looks  at  PEGGY  curiously.) 

PEGGY.  (Controlling  her  excitement)  Oh,  well, 
put  it  on  the  table.  Mr.  Keppel  will  be  back  in  a 
minute.  ( LUCAS  puts  letter  on  table  L.  c.,  gathers 
breakfast  things,  and  at  that  moment  the  hall  door- 
bell rings.  LUCAS  takes  breakfast  tray  and  exits  L. 
The  pause  is  filled  by  a  street  piano  playing  off. 
PEGGY  remains  kneeling  on  window-seat,  until  he 
has  gone,  and  then  impatiently  seises  the  letter.) 
It  is  from  mother.  (Bursts  it  open,  and  looks 
through  it  feverishly,  muttering  words  under  her 
breath — simply  reading  aloud  the  words. )  "  Lord 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  69 

Crackenthorpe  .  .  .  (Turns  over  page.}  .  .  . 
has  asked  me  to  marry  him."  (Utters  a  delighted 
cry,  and  waving  the  letter  triumphantly,  she  waltzes 
wildly  round  the  room.  The  door  opens  suddenly, 
and  enter  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  MAJOR  AR- 
CHIE PHIPPS.  She  is  very  smartly  dressed,  and  the 
MAJOR  is  in  a  black  morning  coat  and  silk  hat. 
They  enter  and  stand  staring  at  PEGGY.  Waltzing 
until  she  suddenly  finds  herself  face  to  face  with 
LADY  CRACKENTHORPE,  and  then  stopping  dead  and 
putting  her  hand  to  her  mouth,  half  checking  a 
startled  cry.}  Oh-h-h ! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Grimly}  Oh,  so  you're 
here !  I  suppose  you  didn't  expect  to  have  to  face 
me  just  yet.  (Breathing  short.}  Where's  my  son? 

PEGGY.  (Her  eyes  glittering  wickedly  a  moment 
and  then  saying  sweetly}  Jimmy's  gone  out.  He'll 
be  so  glad  you've  come  to  see  us  so  soon. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.      (Indignantly}     What? 

ARCHIE.  (Coming  between  LADY  CRACKEN- 
THORPE and  PEGGY,  c.,  and  trying  to  smooth  mat- 
ters) The  fact  is,  we  never  expected  to  see  either 
of  you.  We  just  looked  in  on  the  chance  of  the 
man  here  knowin'  where  you'd  both  gone.  You  see, 
we  thought  you'd  slipped  over  to  Paris  or  some- 
where. 

PEGGY.  (A  little  at  a  loss)  Well,  you  see — I — 
we — we  changed  our  minds. 

ARCHIE.  (Placing  his  hat  and  stick  on  writing- 
table}  Ya-as,  of  course.  Will  Jimmy  be  long? 

PEGGY.  No,  he  only  ran  down  to  the  door.  I 
wonder  he  didn't  meet  you  on  the  stairs. 

ARCHIE.  Not  me !  Nobody  ever  meets  me  on 
any  stairs,  when  there's  a  lift. 

PEGGY.  (Listening  suddenly)  Hsh!  I  think  I 
hear  him.  (Looks  at  them  both  irresolutely  for  a 
minute,  and  then  suddenly  runs  to  door,  saying.) 
I'll  tell  him  you're  here.  (Exits  L.  and  shuts  the 


70  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

door  after  her.  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  ARCHIE 
look  at  each  other.) 

ARCHIE.     (Pulling  his  moustache)    'Deuced  odd! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Irritably)  Odd? 
Most  annoying,  I  call  it. 

ARCHIE.    'Don't  see  that.    Why  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Annoyed)  I  didn't 
want  to  meet  that  girl.  How  on  earth  am  I  to 
treat  her  now? 

ARCHIE.    Oh,  kiss  her  and  forgive  her. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Drawing  herself  up) 
Kiss  her? 

ARCHIE.  Of  course — usual  thing,  an'  seein'  she's 
saved  the  show  by  boltin'  with  Jimmy  — 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Irritably)  That  girl 
my  daughter-in-law !  It's  no  use,  Archie,  I'd  better 
go.  If  I  stay  I  shall  be  certain  to  quarrel  with  her, 
or  else  make  a  fool  of  myself. 

ARCHIE.  Then,  for  Heaven's  sake,  Charlotte, 
make  a  fool  of  yourself — that'll  be  easy  enough. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (Affronted)    Archie! 

ARCHIE.  Well,  I  mean — seein'  we  rushed  Jimmy 
into  this,  you  might — er — well,  dash  it  all,  it's  all  for 
the  good  o'  the  fam'ly,  so 

(Re enter  PEGGY.     ARCHIE  stands  R.  c.  and  LADY 
CRACKENTHORPE  L.  c.) 

PEGGY.  (Rather  out  of  breath)  I  was  wrong. 
I've  been  down  to  the  hall  door,  and  he's  nowhere 
in  sight.  (Hinting  politely  to  get  rid  of  them.) 
Perhaps  you'd  prefer  to  come  back  a  little  later? 

ARCHIE.  (Gallantly,  fixing  his  eyeglass)  No,  by 
Jove,  we'll  stay  and  talk  to  you,  eh,  Charlotte? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Stiffly)  I  suppose  we 
must. 

PEGGY.  (Blankly,  standing  c.  between  them,  with 
a  forced  smile)  Oh,  how — nice!  (There  is  an 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  71 

awkward  pause.  ARCHIE  ogles  PEGGY  through  his 
eyeglass,  pulls  his  moustache,  and  then  laughs  awk- 
wardly. LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  maintains  a  frigid 
silence.  Breaking  the  silence.)  I  don't  think  he'll 
be  long.  (Runs  to  window  and  looks  down  the 
street.  ARCHIE  nudges  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and 
points  to  PEGGY,  implying  she  must  speak  to  her.) 

ARCHIE.     Now's  the  time,  Charlotte,  buck  up ! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Coughing  nervously 
and  speaking  with  an  effort)  Well,  Miss  O'Ma — 

er — I  mean (Doesn't  know  what  to  call 

PEGGY  and  at  last,  with  a  choke,  says.)  My — my 
dear — as  Jimmy's  mother,  I  suppose  I — well,  I  sup- 
pose we — we (Ending  abruptly  and  desper- 
ately.) Oh,  for  Heaven's  sake,  let's  kiss  and  get 
it  over.  (PEGGY  comes  down  with  suppressed 
amusement.  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  stands  c.,  and 
as  PEGGY  approaches  her,  she  shuts  her  eyes  and 
holds  her  cheek  for  PEGGY'S  salute.  PEGGY,  her 
eyes  dancing  with  mischief,  instead  of  kissing  LADY 
CRACKENTHORPE  shuts  her  eyes,  and  holds  out  her 
cheek;  so  they  both  stand,  with  tightly  closed  eyes 
and  compressed  lips,  holding  their  cheeks  toward 
each  other,  each  waiting  for  the  other's  salute. 
ARCHIE  shakes  with  silent  laughter.  Without  open- 
ing her  eyes — in  a  chilly  voice.)  I'm  waiting. 

PEGGY.  (Opening  her  eyes  and  taking  a  rapid 
glance  at  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE,  and  then  resuming 
former  attitude  and  closing  her  eyes)  I'm  quite 
ready. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Opening  her  eyes,  and 
seeing  PEGGY  waiting  patiently,  with  her  cheek 
thrust  out)  What!  .  .  .  Oh-h-h! 

ARCHIE.  (Motioning  with  his  stick  for  her  to 
kiss  PEGGY)  Go  on. — Switch  on. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Hesitating  a  moment, 
and  then  with  a  great  effort,  crossing  and  abruptly 
pecking  at  PEGGY'S  cheek,  and  moving  quickly  away, 


72  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

with  a  sigh  of  relief)  Oh-h-h !  ( Then  under  her 
breath.}  Thank  Heaven,  that's  over.  (Crosses  L. 
and  sits  on  settee  near  fireplace.) 

PEGGY.  (Overhearing  this,  sweetly)  I  feel  quite 
like  one  of  the  family,  now. 

ARCHIE.  (Straightening  himself  and  brushing  his 
moustache  away  from  his  lips)  Then,  perhaps  as 

one  o'  the  fam'ly,  /  may  be  allowed  to (He 

crosses  over  to  PEGGY  to  kiss  her.  PEGGY  backs 
away  to  R.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Severely)  Archie! 
I'm  surprised. 

PEGGY.  (Sweetly)  Are  you,  Lady  Cracken- 
thorpe?  I'm  not. 

(ARCHIE  turns  up  stage  in  a  huff.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Speaking  of  the  family, 
I  think  some  little  explanation  is  due  to  us.  Have 
you  nothing  to  say  to  me  about  all  this? 

PEGGY.     (Innocently)     Oh,  yes, — how's  mother? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Losing  her  temper)  I 
haven't  the  faintest  idea. 

ARCHIE,  (Coming  down  R.  c.  and  trying  to 
smooth  things)  No,  you  see,  Charlotte  and  I  were 
stayin'  at  Windsor  last  night — a  weddin'  party, — 
so 

PEGGY.  (Who  still  has  her  mother's  letter  in  her 
hand)  Oh,  so  you  don't  either  of  you  know  about 
— mother?  (Glancing  at  letter.) 

ARCHIE.     Lord,  no!     What's  wrong? 

PEGGY.  (Assuming  innocent  manner)  Oh,  noth- 
ing. Only  I  expect  she'll  be  awfully  worried  about 
me.  You  see,  she'd  always  set  her  heart  on  my 
making  a  really  good  match. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Indignantly)  What? 
You  don't  seem  to  realize  that  you  are  married  to  my 
son. 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  73 

PEGGY.  (Demurely')  No,  I'm  afraid  I  haven't 
quite  realized  it, — yet.  (She  sits  on  settee  R.  of 
breakfast  table  R.,  and  picks  up  periodical  lying  on 
settee.  There  is  another  awkward  pause  for  a  mo- 
ment.) 

ARCHIE.     (Uneasily)    Jimmy's  a  deuce  of  a  time. 

PEGGY.  (Sweetly)  Yes,  perhaps  he  saw  you 
both  coming. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Indignantly)  Miss 
O'Ma — I  mean,  Mrs. (With  a  burst  of  ir- 
ritability. )  Oh,  what  in  the  world  am  I  to  call  you  ? 

PEGGY.  (With  unruffled  sweetness)  Whatever 
you  like,  please.  I  suppose  you'd  like  me  to  call 
you—"  mother  "  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Rises,  and  ARCHIE 
crosses  and  soothes  her;  she  is  fuming)  Archie,  I 
simply  can't  stand  much  more.  Will  Jimmy  never 
come?  (Turns  and  goes  up  to  bow  window  and 
looks  out.  ARCHIE  picks  up  the  "Morning  Post" 
from  settee  L.  Re'enter  JIMMY  through  door,  down 
stage  L,.) 

JIMMY.  (Coming  in  out  of  breath)  Couldn't 

catch  him.  Confound (Stops  dead,  seeing 

ARCHIE.  )  Hullo ! 

PEGGY.  Oh,  Jimmy,  here's — mother.  (Pointing 
up  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE,  who  is  leaning  out  of 
window. ) 

JIMMY.  Who?  (At  this  moment  LADY  CRACK- 
ENTHORPE turns  round.)  Why,  it's  the  mater. 

PEGGY.     I  told  you  so. 

JIMMY.     (Puzzled  up  c.)     But  you  said 

PEGGY.     (Sweetly)     "  Mother." 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  is  too  angry  to  speak,  and 
fumes  silently.) 

ARCHIE.  (Crossing  R.  with  "Morning  Post"  in 
his  hand — to  JIMMY)  Congratulate  yer,  my  dear 


74  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

feller.  Everybody  will,  when  they  know.  (Point- 
ing to  newspaper  he  holds.}  They  soon  will  now, 
haw,  haw!  Hope  you  both  of  you  liked  my  little 
"  par  "  in  the  Post  here.  Deuced  neatly  worded,  I 
think,  considering.  (To  PEGGY.)  I'll  bet  a  fiver 
you  never  thought  o'  puttin'  it  in  yourselves. 

PEGGY.  (Smiling)  No,  we  never  dreamt  of  such 
a  thing.  It  was  clever  of  you  to  think  of  it. 

ARCHIE.  (Coming  down  to  below  chair  R.  c.) 
Ya-as.  I  thought  you'd  be  pleased.  (Points  to  pa- 
per.) Such  a  dashed  good  place,  too,  no  one  can 
miss  it. 

PEGGY.  Yes,  in  fact  there's  only  one  little  mis- 
take about  it,  Major. 

ARCHIE.  Eh?  (Looking  at  paper.)  What's 
wrong? 

PEGGY.  (Sweetly)  Well,  you  see — it  isn't  true. 
(This  falls  like  a  thunderbolt.  LADY  CRACKEN- 
THORPE  comes  down  to  L.  c. ) 

ARCHIE,  Not  true?  (He  looks  first  at  LADY 
CRACKENTHORPE,  then  at  JIMMY,  then  at  PEGGY, 
and  then  sits  down  heavily  on  chair  R.  c.  by  break- 
fast table.) 

PEGGY.     Jimmy  and  I  are  not  married,  at  all ! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Gasping)  Not  mar- 
ried? 

ARCHIE.     (Also  gasping)    The  devil ! 

JIMMY.  (Coming  forward  and  trying  to  calm  his 
mother)  Now,  don't  get  excited,  mater,  do  keep 
cool,  and  sit  down,  and 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Furiously)  I  will  not 
sit  down.  (Crosses  in  front  of  JIMMY  to  c.)  If 
that  girl  is  not  married  to  you,  what  is  she  doing 
here? 

PEGGY.  (Quite  simply)  I'm  staying  here,  that's 
all. 

JIMMY.  (Who  is  now  down  L.  c,  with  horrified 
protest  to  PEGGY)  No,  no,  no! 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  75 

PEGGY.  (Impatiently)  Well,  I  was  staying  here 
last  night,  then. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Immeasurably  shocked) 
Oh-h-h !  (Backs  to  writing-table  chair  and  drops 
into  it,  speechless.) 

ARCHIE.  (Looks  at  PEGGY,  pulls  his  moustache, 
then  looks  at  the  ceiling  and  coughs)  Er — 
h'm-m-m ! 

PEGGY.  (Looking  round  at  them  all)  Why, 
what's  the  matter?  What  have  I  said? 

ARCHIE.  (Rising  and  crossing  L.)  H'm,  well, 
it's  not  exactly  what  you've  said  that  wants  ex- 
plaining a  bit,  it's 

JIMMY.  (Breaking  in  impatiently)  Oh,  don't 
talk  rot.  Look  here,  I'm  responsible  for  Miss 
O'Mara's  presence  here,  so  she's  not  called  upon  to 
explain  anything,  to  anybody. 

PEGGY.  (Puzzled  and  perfectly  innocently)  But 
why  shouldn't  I  explain?  I've  done  nothing  wrong. 

JIMMY.  (Staggered)  Why — do  you  wish  to  tell 
them? 

PEGGY.  Of  course  I  do,  it's  simple  enough. 
(Turning  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  ARCHIE.) 
I  came  here  last  night  to  see  Jimmy,  and  he  hadn't 
come  home.  I  hadn't  anywhere  else  to  go,  so  his 
man  let  me  come  in  and  wait.  I  was  awfully  tired 
and  I  fell  asleep.  When  the  man  woke  me  up,  it 
was  too  late  for  me  to  go  anywhere  else,  so  I  just 
stayed  here,  and  slept  on  that  sofa,  and  Jimmy  came 
back  this  morning.  There's  nothing  much  in  all 
that. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Drily)  No, — hardly 
enough,  I'm  afraid. 

JIMMY.  (Frowning)  These  are  only  the  bare 
facts,  of  course. 

ARCHIE.  (More  puzzled  than  ever)  But,  look 
here,  if  you  came  up  to  town  yesterday  to  marry 


76  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

Jimmy — (Turning  to  JIMMY.)  where  the  deuce 
were  you? 

JIMMY.  I  was  called  away  suddenly  on  Ceylon 
business,  early  in  the  morning. 

ARCHIE.  (His  face  lighting)  Oh  !  Now  I  begin 
to  see  daylight.  Why,  then,  the  wedding's  only  been 
put  off.  You'll  fix  it  up  to-day, — what  ? 

PEGGY.  (Decidedly)  No.  We're  not  going  to 
be  married,  at  all. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Rising  and  coming 
down  c.)  Not?  But  what  about  your  letter  to 
Anthony?  Your  wire  to  your  mother? 

PEGGY.  (Suddenly  realizing  that  to  explain  she'll 

have  to  expose  her  plot)  Well,  I — it  was — I 

(Sticks  and  looks  appealingly  to  JIMMY.) 

JIMMY.  (Coming  to  her  rescue)  Miss  O'Mara 
decided  to  marry  me,  and  changed  her  mind,  that's 
all.  (PEGGY  looks  gratefully  at  JIMMY.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Furiously)  But  it's 
scandalous.  We've  told  people.  (Crosses  to  fire- 
place. ) 

ARCHIE.  (Crossing  down  to  extreme  R.,  ruefully 
looking  at  "  Morning^Post")  Ya-as,  by  Jove,  and 
stuck  it  in  the  paper,  too.  What  the  deuce  will 
Saunders  of  the  Morning  Post  think  o'  me  ?  Seems 
to  me  I'm  going  to  look  like  a  fool.  (Looks  at 
PEGGY.)  What  the  deuce  can  I  tell  'em? 

PEGGY.  Oh,  don't  ask  me.  You  put  it  in. 
(Shaking  her  head  at  him.)  You  know  it's  rather 
a  mistake  to  describe  things  that  haven't  happened, 
before  they  do, — in  case  they  don't.  (With  this 
parting  shot  PEGGY  turns  her  back  and  goes  up 
stage,  glancing  at  her  mother's  letter.) 

ARCHIE.  (Staring  at  the  fatal  paragraph,  pull- 
ing his  moustache  and  muttering)  Dash  it  all! 

PEGGY.  (Crossing  up  to  window,  and  speaking  to 
JIMMY  as  she  goes)  Jimmy,  may  I  speak  to  you  for 
a  minute?  I  want  to  show  you  something.  (PEGGY 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  77 

sits  on  window-seat,  and  JIMMY  follows  her  and 
sits  beside  her.  She  shows  him  her  mother's  letter, 
and  they  talk  in  dumb  show.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Crossing  R.  to  ARCHIE, 
and  touching  him  on  shoulder)  Archie,  Archie. 

ARCHIE.  (Looking  up  from  "Morning  Post," 
which  he  is  studying  carefully)  Eh — what? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Glancing  over  her 
shoulder  at  JIMMY  and  PEGGY,  and  dropping  her 
voice)  We're  just  where  we  were! 

ARCHIE.    What  are  you  drivin'  at? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (In  a  rapid  undertone) 
If  they're  not  married,  she's  free  to  go  back  to 
Hawkhurst. — Anthony — can't  you  see? 

ARCHIE.  (Throwing  down  paper  on  settee  R.) 
Oh,  the  devil ! 

(JIMMY  rises  from  window-seat  and  comes  down 
R.  c.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Flurried)  We  must  do 
something  at  once.  Whatever  happens  she  must 

marry  Jimmy  now.  We  must (Catching  sight 

of  JIMMY  coming  toward  them  and  breaking  off.) 
Hsh! 

JIMMY.  (Joining  them  at  table)  Well,  one 
thing's  certain,  Uncle  Archie,  we  must  have  that 
paragraph  contradicted  at  once. 

ARCHIE.  (Looking  at  LADY  CRACKETSTTHORPE) 
Lord,  yes,  dear  feller,  of  course. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Nonsense,  Archie.  (To 
JIMMY.)  Such  a  thing  would  be  fatal  now. 

JIMMY.     (Turning  in  surprise)     Fatal? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Quietly)  To  Miss 
O'Mara. 

PEGGY.  (Hearing  this  and  coming  down  to  c.) 
Why? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (With  a  glitter  in  her 


78  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

eyes)  Well,  if  we  contradict  that  paragraph,  we 
should  have  to  tell  your  story,  you  know. 

PEGGY.    Why  not? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Staring  at  PEGGY  in 
mock  astonishment)  Why  not?  .  .  .  Do  you  sup- 
pose for  a  moment  that  anybody  would  believe  it  ? 

PEGGY.  (Rather  taken  aback)  Why  shouldn't 
they? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Shrugging  her  shoul- 
ders) Oh,  if  you  think  they  would,  and  are  pre- 
pared to  risk  it (She  turns  and  goes  up  to 

writing-table  and  sits.) 

PEGGY.  (Looking  first  at  ARCHIE,  then  at 
JIMMY,  L.  c.)  What?  Do  you  mean  any  one  would 

actually  think  that — that (She  breaks  off  and 

looks  at  JIMMY  and  ARCHIE.  ARCHIE  coughs. 
Both  avoid  her  eyes  and  shuffle  uncomfortably.) 
Oh-h-h!  Jimmy,  you  don't  think  people  would 
imagine 

JIMMY.  (Gravely)  I'm  afraid  I  do.  Supposing 
that,  by  some  accident,  any  one  had  happened  to 
see  you  here,  in  the  small  hours,  for  instance 

PEGGY.    Well,  some  one  did,  if  it  comes  to  that. 

(They  all  stare  at  PEGGY  astonished.) 

ARCHIE.     (Gives  a  low  whistle)     Whew! 

JIMMY.  (Crossing  to  c. — alarmed)  You  don't 
really  mean  that,  do  you  ? 

PEGGY.    Yes. 

JIMMY.  (Groaning)  Good  Lord,  you  never  told 
me  that. 

PEGGY.  No,  I  forgot.  It  was  nothing.  About 
two  o'clock,  I  woke  up  suddenly  and  heard  some 
one  fumbling  with  a  latchkey  at  the  outer  door.  I 
thought  it  was  you  trying  to  get  in,  and  that  your 
man  had  locked  up. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  rises  at  back  and  listens.) 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  79 

JIMMY.    (Advancing  to  PEGGY)   Well,  well ? 

PEGGY.  So  I  jumped  off  the  sofa,  went  out, 
opened  the  door,  and  found  myself  face  to  face  with 
Mrs.  Colquhoun.  (There  is  a  chorus  of  dismay.) 

LADY  C.    }  ]  Mrs.  Colquhoun  ! 

JIMMY.       \  (Tog  ether)    > That  woman! 

ARCHIE.    )  j  Oh,  Lord ! 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  drops  into  chair  again. 
ARCHIE  crosses  up  to  L.  upper  corner  and  back 
again,  agitatedly  slapping  his  leg  with  news- 
paper. ) 

JIMMY.  (Anxiously,  to  PEGGY)  Well?  Well? 
.  .  .  Go  on. 

PEGGY.  Well,  we  were  both  so  startled  that 
neither  of  us  spoke  for  a  minute,  and  then  she 
drawled  out  something  about  having  got  to  the 
wrong  flat,  stared  at  me  as  though  she'd  never  seen 
me  in  her  life  before,  and  floated  down  the  stairs 
without  another  word. 

JIMMY.     Perhaps  she  didn't  recognize  you. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  of  course  she  did.  I  was  dead  un- 
der the  electric  light. 

JIMMY.  But  didn't  you  attempt  to — to  explain 
things  ? 

PEGGY.  No,  I  was  so  astonished.  Besides,  I 
expect  I  was  half  asleep,  and  that  woman  always 
does  paralyze  me,  even  when  I'm  awake. 

(JIMMY  throws  up  his  hands  in  despair  and  crosses 
R.  to  table.) 

ARCHIE.    But  what  on  earth  was  she  doin'  here? 

JIMMY.  (Dropping  into  chair  R.  c.  near  table) 
She's  staying  in  the  flat  below,  with  that  Howard 
woman. 

ARCHIE.  Mary  Howard?  By  Jove,  she's  a 
scorcher. 


80  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

JIMMY.  (Groaning}  I  know,  there's  a  pair  of 
'em, — they  tear  everybody  to  pieces.  Oh,  of  all 
the  infernal  luck!  (Smites  table  with  fist.) 

PEGGY.  There's  nothing  to  make  a  fuss  about.  I 
shall  simply  go  down  and  see  them,  and  tell  them 
the  truth. 

JIMMY.  (Rising,  shaking  his  head)  No,  no,  you 
couldn't.  They're  not  used  to  it.  They  wouldn't 
recognize  it.  They  might  believe  a  good  lie,  but  the 
truth, — this  truth, — no.  You'd  make  things  worse 
and  worse.  (Crosses  to  window  at  back  agi- 
tatedly.) 

(Enter  LUCAS.  He  is  carrying  a  huge  basket  of 
flowers  with  a  big  hoop  handle  tied  up  with 
enormous  bows  of  white  satin  ribbon.) 

LUCAS.  (Announcing)  The  Honorable  Mrs. 
Colquhoun.  (Stands  back  to  allow  her  to  pass  him.) 

(Enter  HON.  MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  She  is  a  tall,  ele- 
gant, perfectly  dressed  woman,  with  a  superbly 
languid  manner,  and  a  lazy,  perfectly  bred 
drawl.  She  patronizes  and  chills  everybody 
with  a  bored  stare  through  half-closed  eyes. 
She  is  able  to  use  slang  in  the  grand  manner. ) 

MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  (Nodding  to  PEGGY)  How 
d'ye  do,  Mrs.  Keppel?  (To  LUCAS,  as  she  passes 
him,  nodding  to  basket  of  flowers  in  his  hand. )  You 
can  put  that  down.  ( LUCAS  follows  her,  and  places 
basket  of  flowers  on  table  R.,  places  chair  for  her 
E.  c,  and  retires.  MRS.  COLQUHOUN  sails  slowly 
across.)  Hope  I'm  not  disturbin'  things.  (Just 
touching  PEGGY'S  hand.)  Mornin',  Jimmy.  (Nod- 
ding lazily  to  him. )  Oh,  how  are  you,  Lady  Crack- 
enthorpe?  (Just  touching  her  fingers  and  nodding 
casually  to  ARCHIE.)  You  here,  too,  Major? — 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  81 

Quite  a  family  gatherin'.  (She  has  managed  in  this 
one  minute  to  make  everybody  look  awkward  and 
uncomfortable.  She  surveys  them  and  smiles.) 
It's  all  right,— 'sha'n't  be  long.  (To  PEGGY.) 
D'you  mind  if  I  "  squat "  a  minute  ?  I  do  bar 
standin'.  (Sits  and  unfurls  a  fan,  and  fans  herself 
deliberately.)  Coin'  to  be  a  reg'lar  scorcher  to-day. 
(Turning  to  PEGGY  with  a  lazy  smile.)  'Saw  that 
interestin'  little  paragraph  in  the  Morning  Post, — 
at  least  my  maid  read  it  out  to  me, — so,  I  just 
dropped  in  to  wish  you  both  luck,  don't  y'know. 
Hadn't  an  idea,  or  I'd  ha'  sent  the  usual  fish  slice, 
or  something  so  I've  just  brought  up  the  flowers 
there — (Nodding  in  direction  of  basket  on  table.) 
to  be  goin'  on  with.  Hope  you'll  both  accept  'em. 

(There  is  a  moment's  awkward  pause.) 

PEGGY.  (Stammering  clumsily)  N-no,  I — we — 
we  can't. 

(N.  B. — From  this  moment,  all  through  the  follow- 
ing scene,  both  JIMMY  and  ARCHIE,  or  well  as 
PEGGY,  make  repeated  attempts  to  break  in  as 
though  to  explain,  but  MRS.  COLQUHOUN  talks 
straight  on  without  heeding  them.  In  short, 
her  scene  is  like  a  monologue  with  interrup- 
tions. ) 

MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  (Perfectly  unmoved) 
Really!  (Turns  and  stares  languidly  at  PEGGY.) 
Why? 

PEGGY.  (Getting  more  and  more  confused  under 
her  calm  gaze)  Well,  I — we — well — we  simply 
can't,  that's  all. 

MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  (Easily)  Oh,  I  know. 
You're  annoyed  about  last  night,  I  remember  now, 
vague  idea  I  was  a  bit  short  with  you  on  the  stairs, 


82  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

— 'bit  startlin',  don't  y'know,  to  see  you  in  Jimmy's 
flat,  in  the  small  hours. 

JIMMY.  (Attempting  to  speak)  Yes,  but  you 
see 

MBS.  COLQUHOUN.  (Cutting  him  short)  'Didn't 
even  know  you  were  engaged,  you  see.  'Stupid  of 
me  to  be  surprised, — especially  nowadays, — 'fancy 
my  nerves  were  a  bit  jumpy, — 'been  havin'  a  rocky 
evenin'  at  bridge,  so  I  suppose  I  wds  a  bit  un- 
sympathetic,— (Smoothly  to  PEGGY.)  was  I? 

PEGGY.  (Getting  more  and  more  paralysed,  but 
making  an  effort  to  assert  herself)  Yes,  but  it 
wasn't  that  I 

MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  (Completely  ignoring  her  and 
going  calmly  on)  'Course,  directly  my  maid  read 
put  that  you  were  married  to  Jimmy,  I  tumbled  to 
it  all,  in  a  minute. 

(ARCHIE  and  JIMMY  look  at  each  other.) 

PEGGY.  (Making  a  feebler  effort)  But — but — 
if  you'll  only  listen 

MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  (Cutting  through  her,  delib- 
erately) 'Awf'ly  sorry, — 'was  a  bit  stupid  of  me. 
Mary  Howard  said  so — that  is — when  she'd  read 
the  Mornin'  Post. 

ARCHIE.  (Attempting  to  speak)  Yes,  but  that 
was  my 

MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  (Ignoring  his  attempt  to  ex- 
plain) But  she'd  ha'  thought  just  the  same  herself 
— anybody  would.  (Dismissing  the  subject  and 
nodding  toward  the  basket  of  flowers.)  Nice  lilies, 
ain't  they  ?  So  glad  you  like  them. 

PEGGY.  (Desperately)  But — I  want  to  ex- 
plain   

MRS.  COLQUHOUN.  Don't.  The  Mornin'  Post 
did  that.  'Can't  be  anything  else  to  say, — besides,  I 
loathe  explanations,  mine's  bored  me  horribly. 


ACT  n      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  83 

(Turning  to  JIMMY.)  By  the  way,  never  congratu- 
lated you,  Jimmy, — 'always  foigetlin*  somcfhm*. 
That  remind*;  me,  d'you  mtnd  touchin'  that  bell? 
'Most  be  movin',  really.  (Rises.  JIMMY  crosses 
and  rings  bett  and  crosses  back  m.  To  LADY  CRACK- 
EXTHOXFE.)  Congratulate  you,  too,  "Lady  Cracken- 
thorpe.  (Nodding  toward  PEGGY.)  Channtn'  girL 
Yon  keepm'  pretty  fit,  Major? 
ARCHIE.  (Shortly)  Quite,  thanks. 

(Enter  LUCAS  who  holds  door  open.) 

Hits.  GoLQBHOUX-  (DrawBng  lasHy  as  she  goes) 
Don't  move,  anybody — 'sha'n't  bore  yon  all  by 
shakin*  hands, — much  too  hot.  (Turns  at  door  and 
nods  easily  to  them  off.)  Bring  her  to  see  me,  be- 
fore yon  sail,  Jimmy.  *Bye,  everybody.  (She  sails 
out  tranquilly,  leaving  them  all  too  paimyeed  to 
speak,  and  LUCAS  follows  her  out  and  closes  the 
door.  They  att  remain  simply  speechless  for  a  mo- 
ment, and  then  the  storm  bursts,  and  they  att  speak 
in  rapid  succession,  m  furious  tones.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHOSFE,    Purring  cat! 

ARCHIE.  That  woman  makes  me (Cannot 

find  words  to  express  himself.)  She — she 

(With  a  sudden  explosion.)  Damn!  {Looks 
round.)  Sorry — but  it  had  to  come  out. 

PEGGY.  (Crossing  quickly  to  table  «.,  and  seising 

the  basket  of  fUneers)  Oh-h-h!  The— the 

(Is  about  to  hurt  them  at  door,  but  JIMMY  stops 
her.) 

JIMMY.  (Stopping  PEGGY,  and  taking  the  basket 
of  fowers  from  her)  What's  aO  this  about? 
What's  wrong? 

PEGGY.    Why,  isn't  everything  wrong? 

JIMMY.  (Jubilantly)  No!  Everything's  right 
It's  snnplv  spUmKd!  (He  puts  basket  o 


84  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

on  floor,  near  back  wall.  They  all  turn  and  stare  at 
him  in  amazement.} 

ARCHIE.     Eh — what  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.    What's  splendid? 

JIMMY.  (Picking  up  "Morning  Post"  from 
settee  R.,  and  flourishing  it)  Why,  we're  safe  from 
her.  This  paragraph  has  saved  us.  By  Jove,  it's 
unique.  A  compromising  situation  like  this,  and  no 
one  putting  a  wrong  construction  on  it. 

ARCHIE.  (Whistling)  Phew!  By  Jove,  you're 
righ^  What  price  my  paragraph  now,  my  dear 
felk  ? 

JIMMY.  (Excitedly)  It's  the  luckiest  fluke 
you've  ever  made. 

ARCHIE.  (Indignantly)  Fluke?  Dash  it  all! 
That's  a  nice  way  to  speak  of  the  inspiration  that's 
saved  the  show. 

PEGGY.  (Sitting  down  on  chair  R.  c.,  and  facing 
ARCHIE  and  JIMMY)  I  don't  know  what  on  earth 
you  two  are  talking  about.  We  can't  leave  things 
like  this. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Up  stage  c.,  quietly) 
No,  of  course  not. 

PEGGY.  (Turning  to  her)  Then  what  are  we  to 
do? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  There's  only  one  thing  to 
be  done.  You  must  marry  Jimmy,  of  course. 

PEGGY.  (Startled  for  a  moment,  and  then  im- 
patiently) Oh,  that's  absurd ! 

ARCHIE.  (Sitting  down  on  settee,  R.)  Not  a  bit. 
Why,  dash  it  all,  there  couldn't  be  an  easier  way 
out  of  it. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Coming  c.)  It's  the 
only  way  out  of  it.  (To  PEGGY.)  You  said  you 
were  going  to  marry  him.  From  the  Morning  Post 
all  the  people  we  know  think  you  are  married  to 
him.  You  can  see  what  a  scandal  that  Colquhoun 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  85 

woman  will  stir  up  if  you  don't  marry  him.     So — 
well, — marry  him,  and  make  an  end  of  it. 

PEGGY.  (Looking  at  JIMMY,  and  then  facing  au- 
dience— petulantly)  But  I  don't  want  to. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Why?  (Pause.)  You 
did  yesterday.  (Pause.)  Have  you  quarrelled? 
(Pause.)  What's  happened  to  make  you  change 
your  mind  so  suddenly? 

JIMMY.  (Down  extreme  R.,  decidedly)  Look 
here,  mater,  this  is  our  affair,  so  be  good  enough  to 
leave  us  to  settle  it. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Drawing  herself  up) 
Oh,  really.  Perhaps  you'd  prefer  us  to  go  ? 

JIMMY.  Well,  to  be  quite  candid  about  it,  I 
should. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (  Turning,  with  offended 
dignity)  Oh ! — Come,  Archie  ! 

ARCHIE.  (Rising  and  crossing  up  to  writing-ta-. 
ble,  picks  up  hat  and  follows  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE 
to  door)  Here,  wait  a  bit,  Charlotte.  (To 
JIMMY.)  What  the  deuce  are  we  to  say  to  people? 

JIMMY.  (Looking  at  PEGGY  and  then  speaks) 
Come  back  in  half  an  hour  and  I'll  tell  you. 

ARCHIE.  Oh,  well!  (Turns  at  door.)  Ye 
know,  we  must  pull  this  thing  straight,  somehow — 
for  the  good  o'  the  fam'ly.  (Exit  L.,  leaving  door 
open.) 

(JIMMY  crosses  and  shuts  it,  and  stands  looking  at 
PEGGY  from  back  of  settee,  i,. ) 

PEGGY.  (A  little  out  of  temper — to  JIMMY)  I 
wonder  you  didn't  join  in  the  family  chorus,  and 
insist  on  me  marrying  you.  QIMMY  doesn't  speak 
for  a  minute.  She  looks  round  at  him.)  You're 
very  quiet  about  it  all. 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  What  can  I  say?  I'm  in  a 
delicate  position.  I  don't  want  to  take  advantage 


86  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

of  the  fix  you're  in,  by  trying  to  rush  you  in  marry- 
ing me,  against  your  will. 

PEGGY.  (Still  rather  vicious)  Oh,  I  thought  per- 
haps you'd  changed  your  mind,  and  didn't  want  to. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  if  you  take  that  tone,  I  will  join 
what  you  call  the  family  chorus.  There's  a  lot  to 
be  said  for  it.  It  seems  the  logical  way  out  of  it. 
You  see,  it  isn't  as  though  you'd  any  special  objec- 
tion to  me, — at  least,  you've  never  said  so. 

PEGGY.  (Turning,  softened)  You  know  I 
haven't.  Why,  you're  the  only  real  man  friend  I've 
ever  made. 

JIMMY.  {Coming  round  end  of  settee  to  c.) 
Well  then,  as  you  don't  dislike  me 

PEGGY.  (Rising  and  impulsively)  That's  just  it, 
it  might  be  easier  if  I  did,  but  I  like  you  too  much 
to  marry  you  without  liking  you  more. 

JIMMY.  (Sits  with  a  sigh  on  small  table  L.  c., 
and  leans  over  back  of  chair  near  it)  Oh,  "  the  lit- 
tle more,  and  how  much  it  is."  Everything  else 
seems  to  play  into  our  hands.  This  berth  in  Eng- 
land, with  a  jolly  house,  and  everything.  Then  you 
could  have  stuck  this  yarn  into  a  novel.  (Whim- 
sically.) People  might  have  believed  it — in  a  book. 
But  if  you  feel  like  that  (Sighs.) — well,  there  it  is. 

PEGGY.  (Impulsively  and  gratefully)  What  a 
brick  you  are  to  take  it  all  like  this,  Jimmy. 

JIMMY.     Like  what? 

PEGGY.  Do  you  think  I  can't  see  ?  You  take  that 
tone  to  make  me  feel  easy  about  it.  (Impulsively. ) 
Oh,  you  do  make  me  feel  a  beast ! 

JIMMY.    (Gently)    No,  no,  you  can't  help  it. 

PEGGY.  (Suddenly  crossing  to  him  and  sitting  on 
chair  he  holds,  and  looking  up  at  him)  Jimmy,  I'll 
try  to  help  it.  I  will,  really. 

JIMMY.     (Leaning  forward  eagerly)     Peggy  — 

ARCHIE.  (Off)  That's  all  right,  I'll  just  go  in. 
(  JIM  MY  and  PEGGY  fall  apart  as  ARCHIE  bursts  un- 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  87 

ceremoniously  into  the  room,  excited  and  very  much 
out  of  breath.  PEGGY  rises  and  backs  to  chair  R.  c. 
Coming  c.,  breathlessly.)  'Just  spotted  what  you 
two  have  been  quarrellin'  about,  by  Jove!  (Puff- 
ing.) 'Saw  it  all  in  a  flash.  (Excitedly,  to 
PEGGY.)  Jimmy's  evidently  made  a  hash  of  it. 
(Puffing.)  I'll  own  up.  I'm  the  really  guilty  chap. 
'Fact, — honor  bright, — the  whole  thing  was  my  idea. 

JIMMY.  (Rising,  with  a  puzzled  frown}  What 
on  earth ? 

ARCHIE.  (Coax'mgly  to  PEGGY)  Besides,  dash 
it  all,  you  got  your  revenge,  you  know. 

PEGGY.     (Puzzled)     My  revenge? 

ARCHIE.  (Cocking  his  head,  knowingly)  Ya-as. 
You  made  Jimmy  fall  genuinely  in  love  with  you  in 
the  end,  didn't  you — what?  So,  come  now,  even  if 
he  were  only  pretending  at  first 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  on  ARCHIE'S  L.,  and  hiss- 
ing) Stop ! 

PEGGY.  (Staring  at  ARCHIE  and  repeating) 
"  Pretending  "  ? 

JIMMY.     (Hissing  angrily  at  ARCHIE)    You  fool! 

ARCHIE.     (Surprised)     Eh — what? 

PEGGY.  (Repeating  in  a  low  voice)  Pretending. 
Only  pretending  at  first.  (Turning  to  JIMMY.) 
What  does  he  mean? 

( JIMMY  looks  troubled  and  hesitates.) 

ARCHIE.  (Startled,  staring  at  her,  and  then 
sharply  to  JIMMY)  What?  Haven't  you  told  her? 
(Seeing  his  mistake.)  Good  Lord,  I  thought  it  was 
that  you'd  quarrelled  about.  (Stammers.)  Ton 
my  soul,  I  did.  Oh,  dash  it  all.  I 

JIMMY.  (Sharply)  You've  said  enough. 
(Crosses  up  R.  behind  ARCHIE.) 

PEGGY.  (Looking  at  JIMMY  and  shrinking  back) 
Jimmy,  you  can't  mean — it's  true? 


88  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  R.  c.)  No.  That  is— 
not  altogether.  Look  here,  let  me  explain. 

PEGGY.  That  means  it  is  true.  (  Turns  away  with 
an  angry  exclamation. )  Oh ! 

ARCHIE.  (Breaking  in)  That's  just  what  I  was 
goin'  to  tell  you.  It  was  my  idea.  I  suggested  it  to 
Charlotte  and 

PEGGY.  (Getting  more  angry  every  minute)  So 
Lady  Crackenthorpe  was  in  this,  too  ?  I  might  have 
guessed  that.  (Turning  on  JIMMY.)  And  you 
helped  them?  (Almost  crying  in  her  rage.)  Oh, 
how  could  you?  How  could  you?  (Crosses  up  to 
writing-table  and  standing  back  to  audience.) 

JIMMY.     (Following  her)     No,  wait, — listen. 

PEGGY.  (Wheeling  round  with  flashing  eyes) 
Why,  what  had  I  done  to  you  all?  (To  ARCHIE.) 
What  had  I  done  to  you? 

ARCHIE.  (Shamefacedly)  Eh? — oh — er — noth- 
ing of  course. 

PEGGY.  (Indignantly)  Then  why  did  you  do  it  ? 
You  couldn't  invent  such  a  horrid  scheme  as  a  joke. 

ARCHIE.  (Ashamed,  hastily)  No,  no,  dash  it 
all,  I — we  thought  that  you — that  is,  that  Anthony 
— well,  ye  see,  it  was  to  prevent 

PEGGY.  You  needn't  go  on.  I  see  the  whole 
thing  now.  (She  turns  and  sits  at  writing-table 
with  her  back  to  audience. ) 

(ARCHIE  stands   twirling  his  hat,  looking  rather 
ashamed.) 

JIMMY.  (R.,  curtly  to  him)    You  needn't  wait. 

ARCHIE.  (Looking  up  and  clearing  his  throat) 
Here,  dash  it  all,  my  dear  feller,  you  surely  don't 

think 

JIMMY.  (Cutting  him  short)  I  think  you'd  bet- 
ter go. 

ARCHIE.  Eh — what?     (Indignant  and  injured.) 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  89 

If  this  is  all  the  thanks  I  get,  by  Jove,  I  will  go. 
(Crossing  up  to  door,  and  turning  disgustedly.) 
And  this  is  all  a  feller  gets  for  doin'  things  for  the 
good  o'  the  fam'ly.  (He  goes  out  L.  disgustedly, 
leaving  the  door  open.) 

(PEGGY  sits  with  her  back  to  JIMMY,  who  crosses, 
closes  door,  and  stands  L.  of  PEGGY.) 

JIMMY.  Now  we  can  have  this  thing  out,  and  I 
can  explain. 

PEGGY.  (  With  her  back  turned)  You  can  "  pre- 
tend "  to  explain,  you  mean. 

JIMMY.  (Leaning  over  her}  No.  Look  here, 
you  don't  understand 

PEGGY.  (Suddenly  rising  and  wheeling  round 
with  blazing  eyes)  No,  I  don't  understand.  I  never 
shall  understand  how  you  could  have  anything  to 
do  with  such  a  nasty,  mean,  horrid  scheme. 

JIMMY.     I  tell  you  I'd  never  seen  you 

PEGGY.  (Furiously)  There!  You  admit  it. 
You  agreed  to  make  a  fool  of  a  girl  you'd  never 
even  seen. 

JIMMY.     Oh,  will  you  let  me ? 

PEGGY.  (Refusing  to  listen  and  crossing  to  fire- 
place) It's  no  use  trying  to  get  out  of  it,  now. 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  to  back  of  settee)  I'm 
not,  but  if  you'll  only  listen  a  moment. 

PEGGY.  ( Unreasonable  in  her  fury,  back  to  fire- 
place) I  won't  listen.  I  see  now  why  you  didn't 
join  in  the  "  family  chorus."  Of  course,  you  wanted 
to  back  out  of  it,  when  it  came  to  the  point. 

JIMMY.     That's  not  true. 

PEGGY.  What  is  true?  (Sits  on  settee,  L.) 
What  about  you  trying  over  and  over  again  to 
make  me  believe  you  wanted  to  marry  me? 

JIMMY.     (Over  back  of  settee)    I  swear  to  you, 


90  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

that,  after  that  first  half-hour  when  we  met — I've 
never  said  a  single  word  to  you  that  I  didn't  mean. 

PEGGY.  (With  a  scornful  laugh)  "After  that 
first  half -hour."  (Contemptuously.)  I  wonder  you 
couldn't  invent  something  better  than  that.  (Rises 
and  crosses  to  R.  c.) 

JIMMY.  Do  you  mean  to  say  you  don't  believe 
me? 

PEGGY.  (Facing  him  with  biasing  eyes)  No! 
How  can  you  expect  me  to  after  a  thing  like  this? 
(Stamping  her  foot.)  No,  I  don't  believe  you,  and 
now  that  you  know  what  I  think  of  you,  I'll  go. 
(Crosses  up  to  writing-table,  picks  up  hat,  and 
moves  toward  door.) 

JIMMY.  (Standing  between  her  and  the  door) 
Stop!  Do  you  think  I'm  going  to  let  you  go  like 
this? 

PEGGY.  (On  the  edge  of  tears)  You  can't  stop 
me.  I'm  going.  (She  makes  a  movement  forward, 
but  JIMMY  takes  her  hat  from  her,  and  throws  it 
down  on  small  table  L.  c.) 

JIMMY.  (Firmly)  Not  before  you've  listened  to 
me.  I've  told  you  the  absolute  truth  to-day.  And 
you've  got  to  believe  it.  (Setting  his  teeth  deter- 
minedly.) You  shall  believe  it. 

PEGGY.  (Attempting  to  pass  and  pick  up  her 
hat)  Will  you  let  me  pass,  please  ? 

JIMMY.  (Preventing  her  from  taking  it)  What 
are  you  going  to  do  ? 

PEGGY.     I'm  going  to  tell  the  truth. 

JIMMY.     About  last  night  ? 

PEGGY.     (Defiantly)     Yes. 

JIMMY.     Then  I  sha'n't  let  you  go. 

PEGGY.  (Indignantly)  What?  (Her  breath 
comes  in  short  sobs  and  she  begins  to  cry.) 

JIMMY.  I'm  not  going  to  let  you  do  a  mad  thing 
in  a  fit  of  temper,  that  you'd  be  sorry  for,  all  your 
life. 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  91 

PEGGY.  (Through  her  tears)  That's  my  busi- 
ness. 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  No;  you  forget,  it's  my  busi- 
ness, since  yesterday.  You  made  it  so. 

PEGGY.    That's  past  and  done  with. 

JIMMY.  No,  it's  not  done  with.  (Firmly.)  You 
trusted  me  enough  to  put  yourself  in  my  hands  yes- 
terday, and  until  this  thing  blows  over,  you've  got 
to  leave  yourself  there. 

PEGGY.  (Still  giving  short  sobs,  and  wiping  her 
eyes')  I  shall  do  nothing  of  the  kind.  I'm  going  to 
mother,  and  people  can  think  what  they  like  about 
me, — /  don't  care.  (Picks  up  hat  from  table  and 
makes  another  move  L.) 

JIMMY.  (Putting  his  hand  on  hers,  and  stopping 
her)  Your  mother  will  care,  though.  What  about 
her?  (Pause.  PEGGY  stops  dead,  and  then  backs  a 
little,  c.  Following  her.)  Besides,  directly  this 
scandal  begins  about  you, — as  it  will, — it's  "  good- 
bye "  to  her  chance  of  ever  being  Lady  Cracken- 
thorpe.  You  are  not  the  only  person  who's  going 
to  suffer  by  this.  (PEGGY  turns  her  face  sharply 
away,  and  stands  trying  to  control  her  tears,  face  to 
audience. )  You  know  what  I  say  is  true.  I  can  see 
you  do.  I  tell  you,  you  can't  do  this  thing. 

PEGGY.  (Stands  baffled  for  a  moment,  and  then 
suddenly  turning  and  crossing  to  table  R.)  Very 
well.  Then  there's  only  one  other  thing  to  do, — we 
must  leave  things  as  they  are,  that's  all.  (Flings 
her  hat  and  gloves  on  to  lower  end  of  settee  R.,  and 
sits  defiantly  on  chair  R.  c.) 

JIMMY,  (c.,  staring  at  her)  Leave  things  as 
they  are? 

PEGGY.  Yes.  Let  people  go  on  thinking  that 
we're  married. 

JIMMY.  (Startled)  What?  ...  oh,  impos- 
sible !  We — we  can't. 


92  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

PEGGY.  Yes,  we  can.  /  can,  and  I'm  going  to  do 
it. 

JIMMY.     Nonsense! 

PEGGY.  (Determinedly)  Yes,  I  am,  and  you  are 
going  to  help  me.  (Rising  and'  crossing  to  JIMMY 
and  looking  up  at  him.)  You  must  help  me.  It's 
the  least  you  can  do,  after  what  you  have  done. 
You  can't  refuse.  You  owe  it  to  me.  I — I  claim 
it  of  you.  I  insist.  (Stamps  her  foot.} 

JIMMY.  (Frown-ing  a  moment,  and  then  shrug- 
ging his  shoulders)  Oh,  very  well  then,  there's 
nothing  more  to  be  said.  (Turns  up  stage  to  -writ- 
ing-table. The  telephone  bell  rings  off  R.)  The 
telephone.  That'll  probably  be  Jack  Menzies,  ask- 
ing for  our  decision.  Now  I  can  tell  him  that  I'm 
going  back  to  Ceylon.  (Crosses  R.  above  chair  at 
head  of  table.) 

PEGGY.  (Startled,  and  crossing  R.  below  table  to 
settee)  Going  back  to  Ceylon?  Why  should  you? 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  Well,  we  can't  very  well  pre- 
tend we're  married,  if  I  stay  here.  (Crosses  to 
door  R.  and  opens  it. ) 

PEGGY.  (Kneeling  on  settee  R.  and  leaning  over 
back)  But — Jack  Menzies'  offer? 

JIMMY.     I  shall  refuse  it. 

PEGGY.  (Leaning  over  and  catching  hold  of  his 
sleeve)  You'll  never  throw  away  such  a  splendid 
chance  as  that?  (Telephone  rings  again.) 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  Of  course.  (Repeating  her 
words. )  "  It's  the  least  I  can  do," — remember.  "  I 
owe  it  to  you,"  you  know.  (PEGGY  is  about  to 
speak.  JIMMY  stops  her  and  removes  her  hand 
from  his  arm',  and  ends  firmly.)  No, — I  "insist." 
(JIMMY  exits  R.,  and  closes  door  behind  him.) 

(PEGGY  stretches  out  her  hands  to  the  closed  door, 
as  if  to  call  him  back,  and  then  slowly  turns, 


ACT  ii      ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  93 

and  seems  on  the  edge  of  breaking  down  again 
when  the  door  L.  opens.     Enter  LUCAS,  L.  ) 

LUCAS.     (Announcing)     Mr.  Menzies. 
(Enter  JACK  MENZIES.     Exit  LUCAS.) 

PEGGY.  (Giving  a  relieved  cry  and  springing  up} 
Oh !  I  am  so  glad  you've  come.  (She  comes  to  c. 
and  stands  clojse  to  him,  speaking  breathlessly.)  Mr. 
Menzies,  Jimmy  says  he's  going  back  to  Ceylon. 

JACK.    (Incredulously)    No! 

PEGGY.  (Rushing  on  excitedly)  Yes,  he's  in 
there,  (Pointing  to  door  R.)  telephoning  to  you 
about  it,  now.  It  was  my  fault.  I  rushed  him  into 
it, — but,  don't  let  him  go.  (Tearfully  and  implor- 
ingly.) Promise  me  you  won't  let  him  go. 

JACK.  (Puzzled)  But,  look  here,  Mrs.  Keppel, 
I'm  a  bit  fogged 

PEGGY.  (Breaking  in  hastily)  There  isn't  time 
to  explain  it  all.  (Looking  round  apprehensively  at 
door  R.)  Jimmy  will  be  back  in  a  minute.  He — 
(She  brushes  some  tears  from  her  eyes.)  he's  be- 
haved abominably,  but  I  can't  let  him  lose  this 
chance,  and  go  back  to  Ceylon  on  my  account,  so, 
promise  me  that  you'll  stop  him. 

JACK.  (Frowning  uncomfortably)  How  can  I? 
(Smoothing  his  hat  awkwardly.)  Seems  to  me 
you're  the  only  person  who  can  do  that.  Surely 
there  must  be  something  you  can  do,  to  stop  him  ? 

PEGGY.  (Turns  face  to  audience,  thinking  for  a 
moment,  and  then  her  face  suddenly  lights  up  and 
she  exclaims)  Yes — there  is, — and  I'll  do  it.  (She 
turns  hastily  to  table,  snatches  up  her  hat  and  begins 
to  fix  it  on  and  pin  it  hurriedly,  as  she  crosses 
abruptly  toward  door  L.) 

JACK.  (Watching  her,  puzzled)  Here,  wait  a 
bit,  Mrs.  Keppel, — where  are  you  going? 


94  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  n 

PEGGY.  (Turning)  I'm  going  straight  to  Hawk- 
hurst. 

JACK.     (Wonderingly)     Hawkhurst? 

PEGGY.  (Determinedly}  Yes.  (She  crosses 
hastily  R.  again,  and  snatches  up  her  gloves  from 
table,  and  then  goes  up  to  JACK,  and  with  her  eyes 
filling  with  tears,  speaks  in  a  shaky  voice.)  Oh, 
Mr.  Menzies,  I've  made  such  a  horrible  muddle  of 
everything,  but  I'm  not  going  to  let  Jimmy  suffer 
for  it,  so  tell  him  that  he's  free  to  take  your  offer, 
and  stay  here,  and — (Her  voice  trembles,  and  after 
a  little  choke  she  adds.)  and — marry  anybody  he 
likes. 

JACK.     (Staggered)    And — what? 

PEGGY.  (In  a  low,  shaky  voice)  He  never 
wanted  to  marry  me, — he  was  only — (With  another 
choke.)  pretending.  (She  dashes  the  tears  from  her 
eyes  and  pulls  herself  together.)  Tell  him  I'll  never 
forgive  him.  (Turning  to  go  L.  )  Tell  him  I — I 
hate  him,  but — (Turning  back  to  JACK.)  don't  let 
him  go.  (Turning  L.  again,  and  speaking  deter- 
minedly through  her  tears. )  He  sha'n't  go.  I  won't 
let  him  go ;  so  whatever  happens,  and  whatever  peo- 
ple think  of  me,  I'm  going  to  tell  the  truth.  (She 
crosses  hastily  to  L.  as  curtain  falls.) 

VERY  QUICK  CURTAIN 


ACT  III 

SCENE. — Same  as  ACT  I,  only  settee  is  now  placed 
obliquely  with  its  back  against  piano,  facing 
down  toward  R.  c. 

(ANTHONY,  MRS.  O'MARA  and  MILLICENT  are  dis- 
covered. ANTHONY  is  seated  at  table  c.,  squint- 
ing down  microscope,  surrounded  by  a  litter 
of  specimen  boxes,  books,  etc.  MRS.  O'MARA  is 
sitting  opposite  him,  with  a  big  book.  MILLI- 
CENT is  standing  between  table  and  door  R., 
hat  on,  just  turning  to  staircase. ) 

MILLICENT.  Still  no  news  of  Peggy,  I  suppose, 
Mrs.  O'Mara? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Not  a  worrd,  my  dear.  But 

there,  when  a  gyurl's  on  her  honeymoon 

(Shrugs  her  shoulders  good-naturedly.}  Aw,  we'll 
be  hearin'  from  Paris  in  the  mprnin',  I'm  thinkin'. 

ANTHONY.  (Looking  up — impatiently)  Yes — 
yes — yes.  No  doubt, — so,  don't  let  us  detain  you, 
Milly. 

MILLICENT.  (Surveying  them)  You  don't  look 
as  though  I  shall  be  very  much  in  the  way  if  I 
stayed. 

ANTHONY.  (Oblivious  of  her  meaning — testily) 
Tut,  tut,  tut!  Can't  you  see — (Waving  his  hand 
toward  MRS.  O'MARA  and  microscope.)  we  are — 
engaged? 

MILLICENT.  (Laughing)  "  Engaged  " — why, 
you  look  as  though  you  were  married.  (Turns  to 
staircase  and  runs  up.) 

ANTHONY.  (Turns  sharply  and  watches  her  go- 
ing up)  Eh?  M-m?  (Looks  inquiringly  at  MRS. 

O'MARA.) 

95 


96  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  m 

MILLICENT.  (Leaning  over  balustrade)  You 
know  the  Hall  is  never  any  good  for  engaged  cou- 
ples, Anthony. 

ANTHONY.  ( Turning  to  MILLICENT)  Why  not? 
Why  not? 

MILLICENT.  Well,  with  three  doors  and  a  stair- 
case, you're  bound  to  find  it  "  jumpy."  (She  laughs 
and  runs  off  L.) 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  to  MRS.  O'MARA) 
"  Jumpy  ?  " — What  does  she  mean,  Kitty  ? — M-m  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Looking  at  him  comically) 
'Deed,  an'  it's  plain  ye  were  never  engaged  before, 
Anthony. 

ANTHONY.  (Emphatically)  No, — never. — Never! 
You  see — (He  hesitates,  gives  a  nervous  laugh  and 
then  uses  her  name.)  er — Kitty,  no  woman  ever  un- 
derstood me,  until  I  met  you.  (Puts  out  hand  to 
take  hers  nervously  and  awkwardly,  gives  her  hand 
an  abrupt  squeeze  and  then  turns  embarrassed  to 
microscope.)  H'm — would  you  mind  reading  out 

the  description,  while  I (Squints  down  and 

adjusts  sight  of  microscope.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Shrugs  her  shoulders  good-hu- 
moredly,  and  reads  aloud  from  book  she  is  holding) 
"  The  most  marked  characteristic  of  the  female  is 
an  irregular  arrangement  of  bristles  on  the  anterior 
pair  of  legs." 

ANTHONY.  (Excitedly — gazing  down  micro- 
scope) Ah,  excellent!  I  can  see  them.  (Looks 
up  and  beams  delightedly  at  MRS.  O'MARA.)  Then 
it  is  a  female !  What  a  delightful  time  we're  hav- 
ing— eh?  (Dives  his  head  abruptly  down  to  micro- 
scope again,  and  squints  down  it,  exclaiming  enthu- 
siastically.) It's  ideal!  My  microscope,  you  help- 
ing me,  and  a  well-developed  spider, — it — it's  in- 
toxicating! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (With  a  half-comic,  half -hope- 
less glance  at  him,  and  then  speaking  pointedly  and 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  97 

significantly)  Aw,  yes — ut's  always  an  intoxicating 
toime, — the  courtin'. 

ANTHONY.  (Still  squinting  down  the  micro- 
scope) Quite — quite!  (Absorbed  in  the  spider.) 
There  are  the  bristles — one,  two,  three 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Sticking  to  it)  An'  to  think  av 
ye  avoidin'  ut  so  long,  now,  Anthony. 

ANTHONY.  (Looking  up)  Eh?  Oh,  yes,  yes. 
(Again  squinting  down.)  But  then  you  see  I  never 

dreamt  that  courtship  could  be  so (He  looks 

up  abruptly.)  Well,  is  all  courting  like  this? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (With  a  smile — drily)  Well,  no, 
Anthony,  most  courtin'  is  a  thrifle  different. 

ANTHONY.  (Triumphantly)  Ah!  I  thought  as 
much.  (Meditatively,  as  he  squints  down  micro- 
scope.) Now,  I  wonder  how  other  engaged  couples 
manage  to  spend  their  time? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Well,  part  of  their  toime — (Rises 
and  goes  round  behind  him,  and  with  her  hand  on 
his  shoulder,  very  gently  kisses  him  on  the  cheek.) 
that  way,  Anthony  darlin'. 

ANTHONY.  (Starting  as  though  he'd  been  shot) 
Eh?  (Very  embarrassed.)  Yes — yes — of  course. 
H'm, — why  not — why  not?  (He  turns  as  though 
he  were  going  to  kiss  her,  laughs  nervously,  and 
ends  by  ducking  down  his  head  over  microscope  to 
hide  his  confusion,  and  mutters.)  It  is  a  female, 
there's  no  doubt  about  it. 

(MRS.  O'MARA  stands  for  a  moment  with  her  hand 
on  his  shoulder,  watching  him  with  an  affec- 
tionate smile,  and  then  pats  his  shoulder  and 
turns  away,  and  as  she  does  sof  PEGGY  is  seen 
peering  in  through  window  under  balcony  at 
the  back.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Uttering  a  little  cry  of  sur- 
prise) Oh!  (She  stifles  it  immediately  as  PEGGY 


98  ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

outside  motions  her  to  be  silent,  and  beckons  to 
her.) 

ANTHONY.  (Turning  to  MRS.  O'MARA)  Eh? 
Did  you ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Flurried,  with  a  look  toward 
window)  No — no — 'twas  nothing.  I — er — I've 
just  remembered  something.  I — it's  in  the  garden. 

ANTHONY.     (Rising)     Oh,  let  me  fetch  it. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Hastily  pushing  him  back  into 
his  chair)  No,  no — I — I'll  be  back  directly. 

ANTHONY.  Oh,  well,  if  you're  quite  sure 

( Turns  to  his  microscope  and  squints  down. ) 

(MRS.  O'MARA,  keeping  her  eye  on  him,  steals  up 
stage  and  out  through  door  under  landing,  and 
joins  PEGGY  and  disappears  with  her.  Enter 
MILLICENT  on  landing.  She  looks  over  and 
gives  a  quick  glance  round.) 

MILLICENT.  (On  landing)  Are  you  alone,  An- 
thony ? 

ANTHONY.  (Turning)  Eh?  Yes,  yes, — for  the 
moment. 

MILLICENT.  (Coming  down)  The  carriage  has 
gone  to  fetch  mother  and  Uncle  Archie  from  the 
station.  They'll  be  here  directly. 

ANTHONY.  (Rising  hastily)  Good  gracious! 
(Stands,  looking  alarmed.) 

MILLICENT.  (R.  of  c.  table)  Have  you  decided 
how  to  break  the  news  to  mother  ? 

ANTHONY.  Well,  no — not  exactly.  Millicent, 
you  don't  think  the  news  of  my  engagement  to  Mrs. 
O'Mara  will  be  a  very  great  shock  to  her,  do  you  ? 

MILLICENT.  (Mischievously)  I  think  an  earth- 
quake would  be  a  trifle  to  it. 

ANTHONY.  (Backing  hastily  to  staircase)  Then 
in  that  case  I'm  quite  sure  that  it  would  be  only 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  99 

kind  to  mother  to  postpone  the  announcement  until 
after  dinner.     (Hurries  up  the  staircase.) 

MILLICENT.  That  means  that  /  shall  be  left  to 
tell  her.  (Follows  him  upstairs.)  Stop,  Anthony, 
come  back.  (ANTHONY  disappears  through  arch- 
way, and  MILLICENT  hurries  after  him.}  Mother 
must  be  told  directly  she  comes,  so (She  dis- 
appears through  archway  L,  after  him.) 

(Enter  PEGGY  through  door  at  back  under  balcony, 
wearing  dress  she  wore  in  ACT  II.  She  comes 
in  cautiously,  looks  round,  and  making  sure  no 
one  is  there,  goes  back — re'enter  with  MRS. 
O'MARA,  who  holds  handkerchief  to  her  eyes. 
PEGGY  has  her  arm  round  her  mother's  shoul- 
ders, and  leads  her  tenderly  forward.) 

PEGGY.  Come  and  sit  down,  mother.  (Leads  her 
to  settee  L.  c.)  You  don't  feel  as  though  you're 
going  to  faint,  do  you  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Sitting  down  on  settee)  No, 
no — ut's  me  heart, — ut's  weak  anyway.  Ut's  what 
ye've  just  told  me.  (Hand  to  her  heart.) 

PEGGY.  (Sitting  beside  her,  and  taking  her  hand 
in  hers)  Mother,  don't  take  it  like  this. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Incredulously)  I — I  can't  be- 
lieve ut  yet.  To  stay  in  Jimmy's  rooms  all  night. 
That  woman  to  find  ye  there  at  one  o'clock  in  the 
morning.  An'  when  you're  not  even  goin'  to  marry 
him.  Aw,  how  could  ye  do  ut,  Peggy  ?  How  could 
ye? 

PEGGY.  But,  mother,  I  haven't  done  anything 
wrong  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Patting  PEGGY'S  hand)  I  know, 
dearie,  I  know ;  but  then  I'm  yer  mother, — an'  that's 
why  ut  hurts.  (Distractedly.)  To  think  of  people 
believin'  that  me  own  child  was — och !  I  can't  bear 
the  thought  av  ut. 


ioo          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

PEGGY.  (Rising,  and  looking  at  her  mother,  seri- 
ously, and  speaking  in  a  hard,  choking  voice)  Then 
you  think  that  too,  mother? 

MRS.  O'MARA.     Think  what,  Peggy? 

PEGGY.  (Looking  in  front  of  her)  That  people 
will  say  that  I (Breaks  off.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Distractedly)  Aw,  they'll  think 
the  worst,  av  course.  Small  wonder  if  they  do. 
( Wailing. )  What  would  yer  poor  father  have  felt 
— if  he'd  been  here? 

PEGGY.  (Suddenly  covering  her  face,  and  gasp- 
ing out)  Don't.  (In  a  broken  voice.)  I — I  did 
think  you'd  have  stood  up  for  me,  mother. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Starting)  Peggy!  (Holding 
out  her  arms  tenderly.)  Sure  I  didn't  mean  to 

PEGGY.  Oh,  mother!  (Turns  unth  a  sob  and 
buries  her  face  in  her  mother's  shoulder  and  cries.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Soothing  her)  There,  there — I 
didn't  mean  to  hurt  you,  Peggy,  darlin'.  I  only — oh, 
ut's  beside  meself  I  am,  about  it  all.  (Distractedly, 
as  she  strokes  PEGGY'S  hair.)  What'll  we  do  now? 
An'  me  just  engaged  to  Anthony,  too ! 

PEGGY.  (Sitting  up,  remembering)  Mother,  you 
don't  think  it  will  upset  all  that,  do  you  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  I'm  sure  av  ut.  Think  of  An- 
thony's pride  when  the  scandal  about  ye  is  on 
everybody's  tongue.  Think  how  Lady  Cracken- 
thorpe  will  speak  of  us  both  to  him.  She'll  make 
out  the  worst,  av  course,  for  her  own  sake.  Ye  can 
see  how  it  will  end. 

PEGGY.  (Rises,  and  stands^  staring  in  front  of 
her,  speaking  in  a  hopeless  voice)  Then  I've  done 
it  all  for  nothing. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Wailing)  Oh,  Peggy,  Peggy, 
if  only  ye'd  fallen  in  love  with  Jimmy. 

PEGGY.  (Hesitating,  and  looking  down  and  then 
bringing  it  out  with  a  burst)  Well  then,  if  you  must 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  101 

know — I  have.     (She  turns  and  sits  on  chair  L.  of 
c.  table.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Sitting  bolt  upright  and  staring 
at  PEGGY  incredulously}  What?  Ye  have  fallen  in 
love  with  him?  (Rising,  coming  down  L.  c.)  .  .  . 
with  Jimmy? 

PEGGY.  Yes.  (With  her  back  turned — irritably} 
Isn't  it — disgusting? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Puzzled}  Disgustin' !  Aw, 
what  is  ut  ye  mean  now?  (Coming  down  nearer  a 
little  to  L.  of  her.)  Why,  if  ye're  in  love  with  him, 
everything'll  be  all  right. 

PEGGY.  (Turning  in  surprise}  How  can  it  be? 
Good  gracious,  mother,  can't  you  see  what  an  "  im- 
possible "  situation  it  is?  Think  of  it — to  go  and 
fall  in  love  with  a  man  who  doesn't  care  a  scrap 
about  you — a  man  who's  made  a  fool  of  you.  Oh, 
it's  humiliating  enough  for  me  to  know  it, — but  if 
he  ever  found  out 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Starting}  What?  D'ye  mean 
ye're  not  goin'  to  let  him  know  ? 

PEGGY.  (Staring  at  her  mother)  Let  him  know  ? 
(Emphatically.)  Never!  If  I  have  fallen  in  love,  I 
still  have  some  self-respect. 

MRS.  O'MARA.    (Bewildered)    But  if  ye've  fallen 

in  love  with  him ?     (  Throwing  up  her  hands. } 

Aw,  how  d'ye  explain  ut  all,  Peggy  ? 

PEGGY.  (Impatiently}  I  can't  explain  it.  It 
just  happened, — all  of  a  sudden, — this  afternoon,  on 
my  way  here.  (With  half -comic,  half -tearful  irri- 
tation.} It — it's  simply  sickening.  What's  the 
use  of  it,  now?  Why  couldn't  it  have  developed 
before?  It  must  have  been  in  my  system.  I  must 
have  been  walking  about  with  it  for  days,  without 
knowing  it.  (Disgustedly.}  And  then  for  it  to 
break  out  like  this — just  like  a  rash, — and  in  the 
train,  too!  I  hid  behind  my  newspaper,  but  I'm 


102          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

perfectly  certain  the  people  in  my  carriage  must 
have  noticed  it. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  be  sinsible  now,  Peggy,  ye'll 
have  to  let  him  know,  for  when  yer  heart's  taken 
suddenly  with  the  cramp,  like  that,  there's  nothing 
but  marriage'll  straighten  it  out  again.  Ut's  the 
only  cure. 

PEGGY.  Oh,  then  I  shall  be  a  permanent  invalid, 
that's  all. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Getting  annoyed,  sarcastically) 
Sure  an'  if  ye  were  goin'  to  be  so  obstinate  about  it, 
I  wonder  ye  didn't  stop  it  in  toime.  Ye've  written 
pages  and  pages  about  ut,  in  yer  precious  stories, — 
I  wonder  ye  didn't  recognize  the  symptoms. 

PEGGY.  "  Symptoms  ?  "  There  aren't  any.  You 
seem  to  begin  in  the  middle  of  it.  /  did ! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Then,  sure,  doesn't  that  prove 
he's  the  right  man,  anyway? 

PEGGY.  (Impatiently)  Oh,  what  is  the  good  of 
the  man  being  the  right  man,  when  you  know  that 
you  are  the  wrong  woman  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  But  are  we  sure  ye're  right  about 
bein'  "  wrong  "  ?  Is  ut  likely,  now,  that  any  man 
would  be  so  ready  to  throw  up  this  splendid  chance 
here,  and  go  back  to  everything  he  hated,  just  to 
help  the  crazy  scheme  of  a  girl  he  didn't  care  for  ? 

PEGGY.  He  couldn't  help  himself.  I  simply 
rushed  him  into  it. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  an'  he'd  have  rushed  him- 
self out  of  ut,  if  he  hadn't  cared  for  ye?  Aw,  be 
sinsible,  now,  Peggy,  marry  him,  ye'll  soon  find  out 
how  right  ye  are  about  being  the  wrong  woman, 
then. 

PEGGY.     (Ruefully)     Yes,  I  expect  I  should ! 

MRS.  O'MARA.    Ah !  ye  know  what  I  mane,  now. 

PEGGY.  Seriously,  mother,  do  you  really  believe, 
— after  all  he's  done,  that  he  can  care  for  me?— 
you  can't  think  he  really  does  want  to  marry  me? 


ACT  ra    ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  103 

MRS.  O'MARA.     Think? — I'm  sure  av  lit 

PEGGY.  (Smiling  in  spite  of  herself)  Mother! 
(Then  slowly  facing  audience.)  I — I  can't  believe 
it. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Softly)  Try  him,  Peggy  dar- 
lin',  give  him  the  chance  an'  see. 

PEGGY.  (Shaking  her  head)  It's  too  late.  Hell 
never  ask  me  again. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Coaxingly)  Aw,  sure  then, 
couldn't  ye  just  ask  him? 

PEGGY.     (Indignantly)    Mother! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Listen  now.  All  ye've  got  to  say 
to  him,  is  that  7  wouldn't  let  ye  tell  the  truth,  and 
that  rather  than  let  him  go  back  to  Ceylon  and  ruin 
his  prospects,  ye  will  marry  him,  after  all. 

PEGGY.  Oh!  you  mean  me  to  consent  to  it  as  a 
marriage  of  convenience?  (Smiling  roguishly.) 
For  his  convenience — of  course! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (With  mock  seriousness)  Aw, 
yes,  av  course,  for  his  convenience,  entoirely. 

PEGGY.  (With  a  twinkle  in  her  eye)  Then  / 
should  be  making  the  sacrifice,  shouldn't  I  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Coughs)  H'm!  Well, ft  would 
look  like  it,  annyway. 

PEGGY.  (Delightedly)  And  then  I  needn't  "  give 
myself  away,"  at  all. 

MRS,  O'MARA.    Well,  ut  depends  how  ye  put  it 

PEGGY.  Oh !  You  leave  that  to  me.  (She  draws 
herself  up  with  assumed  dignity.)  At  first  I  shall 
be  frigid,  but  generous.  (MRS.  O'MARA  laughs. 
PEGGY'S  eyes  dance  with  excitement.)  And  then  I 
needn't  let  him  find  out,  what  I  really  feel,  until 
later  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.    No.    You  can  melt  gradually. 

PEGGY.  (Nodding)  Yes — about  an  inch  a  day, 
— like  a  glacier.  (Clapping  her  hands.)  Ill  do  it. 
(Then  suddenly  lookvng  almost  afraid.)  Oh!  / 
wonder  how  hell  take  it? 


104          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY    ACT  in 

MRS.  O'MARA.    I  don't.    I  know,  to  a  "  T." 

PEGGY.  Why,  do  you  think  he'll (She 

breaks  off.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  He'll  just  clutch  such  a  chance, 
with  both  ar-r-rms, — an'  you  too. 

PEGGY.  (Impulsively  seizing  her  mother  and 
hugging  her)  You — you  darling !  (Kisses  her  and 
then  starts.)  Oh!  that  reminds  me!  (Thinking  a 
moment,  then  turning  abruptly.*)  Do  you  suppose 
he'll  remember  that  /  kissed  him,  first  ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Starting)  What?  .  .  . 
Peggy  •  How  could  ye  bring  ye'self  to  do  such  a 
thing? 

PEGGY.  There  was  no  "  bringing  myself  "  about 
it.  It  was  a  kind  of — inspiration.  I  just  did  it — 
all  of  a  sudden.  (An  idea  striking  her.)  Mother! 

MRS.  O'MARA.    Aw,  what  is  ut,  now? 

PEGGY.  Why,  that's  when  I  must  have  caught 
it! 

MRS.  O'MARA.    Caught  what? 

PEGGY.  "  Love !  "  Then  it  is  a  microbe,  after 
all! 

(ANTHONY'S  voice  is  heard  off,  through  archway 
L.  on  landing.  MRS.  O'MARA  and  PEGGY  turn 
and  listen.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Turning  to  PEGGY — flurried) 
Ut's  Anthony! 

PEGGY.  What  shall  I  say  to  him,  mother, — 
quick. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Say  nothing — say  Jimmy's  comin' 

on  later — say  annything,  say (She  breaks 

off.)  Hsh— he's  here. 

(Enter  ANTHONY  on  landing,  followed  by  MILLI- 
CENT,  they  both  look  down  into  hall.) 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  105 

MILLICENT.  (With  a  surprised  cry)  Why,  it's 
Peggy!  (Crosses  landing  and  runs  downstairs.) 

ANTHONY.     (Staring  at  PEGGY)    Good  gracious ! 

MILLICENT.  (As  she  runs  downstairs,  to  PEGGY) 
What  on  earth  are  you  doing  here? 

ANTHONY.  (Following  her)  Yes — yes — that  is 
precisely  the  question  I  was  about  to  ask. 

(MRS.  O'MARA  sits  on  chair  L.  of  c.  table  and 
PEGGY  remains  standing  almost  in  front  of  ta- 
ble to  R.  of  it.) 

MILLICENT.  (Hurrying  across  to  PEGGY) 
Where's  Jimmy? 

PEGGY.  (With  a  rapid  glance  over  her  shoulder 
at  MRS.  O'MARA)  He — he's  coming  on  later. 

(ANTHONY  joins  MILLICENT  and  they  both  stand 
to  R.  of  PEGGY.) 

MILLICENT.  But  we  thought  you  were  on  your 
honeymoon — in  Paris,  or  somewhere  ?  What's  hap- 
pened ? 

ANTHONY.  Tut,  tut!  (Coming  round  below 
MILLICENT,  pushing  her  aside.)  The  very  question 
I  was  about  to  put.  (Importantly  adjusting  his  spec- 
tacles.) Er — as  the  head  of  the  family  I  feel  it  my 
duty  to  inquire  into  all  this.  (Judicially.)  Touch- 
ing yesterday.  Er — the  point  is — (He  doesn't  know 
what  he  ought  to  say.)  er — at  what  hour  were  you 
married,  precisely? 

MILLICENT.  (Impatiently,  pushing  him  back) 
Oh,  what  on  earth  does  that  matter,  Anthony? 
(To  PEGGY.)  Why  on  earth  did  you  and  Jimmy 
keep  it  all  so  dark?  I  suppose  I  ought  to  be  "  pig- 
gish" about  it,  but  I  won't  be  a  bit,  if  you'll  only 
tell  me  all  about  it.  What  did  you  wear  yesterday  ? 

PEGGY.      (Hesitating  a   minute,   and   then   eva- 


io6          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

sively)  Oh — this.  (Indicating  her  frock.}  You 
see,  I — I  only  took  what  I  stood  up  in.  (Leans 
back  against  table.} 

MILLICENT.  (Horrified}  You  don't  mean  to  say 
you  were  married  in  that  hat  and  frock? 

ANTHONY.  (Determined  to  assert  himself,  im- 
patiently} Tut,  tut — there,  that  will  do,  Millicent. 
It  can't  be  of  the  slightest  importance  what  she  was 
married  in.  The  point  is — where f  (Judicially.} 
Your  wire  said  the  Mount  Street  Registry  Office. 
Now,  why  the ? 

MILLICENT.  (Impatiently,  pushing  him  aside) 
Oh,  bother  the  Registry  Office !  What  does  it  mat- 
ter which  it  was?  (To  PEGGY.)  Why  ever  didn't 
you  wait,  and  be  married  properly,  with  bridesmaids 
and  a  bouquet,  and  a  bishop — and — and  all  the  girls 
you  hated  there,  grinding  their  teeth? 

ANTHONY.  (Pompously,  blinking  through  his 
spectacles)  Precisely.  Why  not?  Why  not?  I 
would  have  given  you  away  myself,  with  pleasure. 

PEGGY.  (With  an  odd  smile)  Oh,  I — gave  my- 
self away,  thank  you. 

ANTHONY.  (Seriously — adjusting  his  spectacles) 
Really  ?  Most  unusual,  surely.  I  wonder  you  feel 
properly  married,  at  all. 

PEGGY.  (Amused  in  spite  of  herself,  and  smiling 
again)  Well,  I'm  not  sure  that  I  do,  if  it  comes  to 
that. 

MILLICENT.  I  know  /  shouldn't,  without  so  much 
as  a  handful  of  rice  down  my  back. 

ANTHONY.  (Again  assuming  the  judicial  air) 
Er — I  really  feel  as  your  future  stepfather 

MILLICENT.  (Pushing  him  aside)  You're  only 
her  brother-in-law  yet,  Anthony,  so  let  me  have  a 
look  in.  (To  PEGGY.)  Really,  what  made  you  rush 
it  so? 

ANTHONY.  (Glaring  at  MILLICEKT  through  his 
spectacles)  There!  The  identical  query  I  was 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  107 

about  to  put,  so — (Turns  to  PEGGY.)  the  question 
is,  what  made  you — er — why  did  you — (Ends 
lamely  and  feebly.)  er — get  married? 

PEGGY,  (amused  at  ANTHONY,  and  smiling)  Oh, 
you  should  ask  people  that  question  beforehand. 
Heaps  of  people  can't  tell  you  why  they  got  married, 
afterwards.  They  don't  know  themselves. 

MILLICENT.  (Turning  suddenly)  Hsh!  I'm  al- 
most sure  I  heard  the  carriage.  (Runs  up  stage  c. 
and  looks  out  of  window  under  landing  at  back.) 

ANTHONY.  (Looking  alarmed,  and  hurrying  after 
her)  The  carriage?  Is  it  there?  (Looks  out  of 
window  too.) 

PEGGY.  (Turning  swiftly  to  MRS.  O'MARA) 
Mother!  Supposing  Jimmy  has  come  back  with 
Lady  Crackenthorpe  and  the  Major?  (Glances 
quickly  at  the  window  and  then  at  the  door.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.    I  never  thought  av  ut.     (Rises.) 

PEGGY,  (flurried)  I — I  can't  meet  him  before  the 
others.  (Turns  up  toward  staircase.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Crossing  R.  behind  table)  No, 
no,  of  course  not. 

( They  go  to  stairs  and  begin  to  ascend  as  ANTHONY 
comes  down  to  stairs  and  sees  them  ascending. 
MILLICENT  comes  down  c.  to  table.) 

ANTHONY.  (Calling  up — flurried)  Don't  go, 
Kitty,  mother  will  be  here  in  a  moment. 

(PEGGY  is  now  crossing  landing.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Hastily)  I— I'll  be  back  directly, 
Anthony. 

(Exit  PEGGY  through  archway,  followed  by   her 
mother.     ANTHONY  stands  forlorn. ) 

MILLICENT.  (Laughing)  It's  no  use,  Anthony, 
you'll  have  to  break  it  to  mother  yourself. 


io8          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY    ACT  m 

ANTHONY.  (Getting  more  flurried  and  dabbing 
his  forehead  with  handkerchief)  It  seems  inevi- 
table. (Walks  up  c.  agitatedly  and  back  again  to 
upper  end  of  table.)  It's  so  difficult  to  know  how- 
to  begin. 

MILLICENT.  Oh,  get  on  to  the  subject  of  mar- 
riage somehow,  and  the  moment  you  see  a  good 
opening,  freeze  on  to  it,  and  slip  it  out  quickly. 

ANTHONY.  (Trying  to  appear  calm)  M'm — yes 
— quite  so,  quite  so.  I  suppose  you  couldn't  give  me 
a  hint,  when  the  psychical  moment  arrives  ?  .  .  . 
M'm? 

MILLICENT.  (R.  of  him,  laughing)  Oh,  very 
well,  when  I  see  a  good  opening,  I'll  cough  and 
nudge  you — like  this.  (Coughs  and  digs  him  in  L. 
ribs. ) 

ANTHONY.  (Wincing,  but  very  serious)  Yes,  I 
see,  thank  you. 

(PARKER  enters  L.,  crosses  the  stage  to  open  folding 
doors  R.,  and  goes  out.) 

ANTHONY.  (In  awed  tones)  Millicent,  they're 
here.  (Gives  a  wild  glance  round,  and  makes  a  bolt 
across  L.  ) 

MILLICENT.    Anthony,  where  are  you  going  ? 

ANTHONY.  (Guiltily)  Eh?  I — I'm  just  going  to 
the  library — to — to  write  a  letter. 

MILLICENT.  (Following  him)  Nonsense,  come 
back. 

ANTHONY.    No,  really,  I  must 

(Bolts  through  door  L.,  and  MILLICENT  runs  after 
him  calling,  "Anthony — Anthony."  Exit  MIL- 
LICENT and  ANTHONY,  L.) 

(Enter  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  MAJOR  PHIPPS, 
both  looking  bored  and  weary,  followed  by 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  109 

PARKER.     ARCHIE  gives  his  hat  to   PARKER. 
Exit  PARKER  L.  ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Wearily)  Thank 
goodness  we're  home  at  last.  (Crosses  and  drop- 
ping into  chair  near  fireplace,  L.) 

ARCHIE,  (c.,  pulling  off  his  gloves')  Ya-as,  by 
Jove!  What  a  day  we've  had.  An'  not  to  know 
where  we  are,  at  the  finish. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Throwing  off  her  lace 
scarf  and  taking  off  her  gloves)  I  can't  understand 
it.  Archie,  are  you  sure  you  went  back  to  Jimmy's 
flat  a  second  time? 

ARCHIE.  (Crossing  L.)  Eh — what?  Dash  it  all, 
Charlotte,  what  on  earth  are  you  driving  at  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Oh,  I  thought  you  might 
have  forgotten,  and  gone  to — (Meaningly.)  your 
"  dentist's,"  instead. 

ARCHIE.  Well,  I  did  look  in,  but  she — (Hastily 
correcting  himself. )  I  mean  he — my  dentist,  y'know 
— was  out,  so  I  went  on  to  Jimmy's. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Crossing  to  fire  and 
warming  her  hands)  Then  I  think  it's  scandalous 
of  Jimmy  and  that  girl,  to  disappear  without  leav- 
ing us  a  message,  or  anything  to  say  what  they  were 
going  to  do. 

ARCHIE.  (Sitting  on  settee ,  L.)  I'm  devilish  sore 
about  the  whole  thing,  considerin'  I  did  it  all  for 
the  good  of  the  family.  By  the  way,  Charlotte,  what 
are  we  to  say  to  'em  here,  about  this  business? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Oh,  say  nothing  at  pres- 
ent. Jimmy  and  that  girl  may  have  got  married  to- 
day, for  all  we  know.  Don't  let's  make  fools  of 
ourselves. 

(Enter  ANTHONY  at  back,  L.,  followed  by  MILLI- 
CENT;  they  begin  to  cross  to  c.) 


no          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

ARCHIE.  (Not  seeing  them)  I  see.  And  as 
soon  as  you  do  know,  you'll  fire  this  O'Mara  woman 
out,  I  suppose? 

(ANTHONY  stops  dead  and  listens  unobserved.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Replying  to  ARCHIE, 
unconscious  of  ANTHONY'S  presence)  Oh,  you 
leave  her  to  me.  What  a  relief  it  is  to  feel  Anthony 
is  out  of  danger,  anyhow.  If  he  had  entangled  him- 
self with  these  O'Maras,  I — well,  I  couldn't — I 
wouldn't  have  suffered  it. 

(ANTHONY,  looking  very  alarmed,  motions  MILLI- 
CENT  to  go  back,  and  tiptoes  across  to  staircase, 
with  his  eyes  fixed  apprehensively  on  the  backs 
of  his  mother  and  ARCHIE.) 

ARCHIE.  Oh,  that's  all  right.  Anthony's  safe 
enough.  (ANTHONY  has  now  reached  the  stairs, 
MILLICENT  silently  following  him.  He  gets  up 
three  steps,  when  MILLICENT  runs  forward  on  her 
toes  and  catches  him.  by  the  coat-tails,  he  tries  to 
free  himself,  loses  his  balance  and  slips  downstairs 
with  a  crash.  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  ARCHIE 
turn  and  see  him  and  MILLICENT.)  Hallo,  by  Jove, 
it's  Anthony.  (Rises  and  crosses  to  c.  table.)  You 
come  in  deucedly  quietly. 

ANTHONY.  (Sitting  on  bottom  step,  rubbing  him- 
self and  smiling  rather  foolishly}  Yes,  yes. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Rising  and  advancing 
L.  c.)  You  seemed  amused  about  something,  An- 
thony ? 

ANTHONY.  (Getting  up,  blinking  through  his 
spectacles,  very  seriously)  Amused?  Not  in  the 
least,  mother — quite  the  contrary,  I  assure  you. 
(Crosses  to  R.  c.) 

ARCHIE.  (L.  c.,  puzzled,  but  assuming  a  matter- 
of-fact  tone)  Well,  Milly,  any  news  since  we  left  ? 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  in 

MILLICENT.  (Down  R.  c.)  Oh,  yes,  a  telegram 
came  for  you,  Uncle  Archie;  I  opened  it.  It  was 
an  appointment  for  yesterday. 

ARCHIE.  Eh?  (Hastily.)  Ya-as,  ya-as.  It  was 
from  my  dentist. 

MILLICENT.  (Looking  at  him  quizzically,  her 
head  on  one  side)  Doesn't  it  strike  you  as  rather  a 
frivolous  name  for  a  dentist — "  Topsey  "  ? 

ARCHIE.  Eh — what  ?  (He  coughs  and  looks  con- 
fused.) H'm — er — h'm.  (Moves  up  to  piano.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Turning  to  ANTHONY) 
Oh,  the  Buncombes  were  sorry  you  hadn't  gone 
with  us  to  the  wedding,  Anthony. 

(MILLICENT  coughs  and  nudges  ANTHONY,  who, 
after  a  glance  at  her,  advances  to  c.) 

ANTHONY.  (Nervously)  Oh — er — by  the  way, 
mother,  speaking  of  weddings — I — I — (He  funks 
it.)  er — the  housekeeper  tells  me  we  want  a  new 
boiler  in  the  kitchen. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  ARCHIE  stare  at  him.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  What  on  earth's  that  got 
to  do  with  weddings? 

ANTHONY.  Eh?  Oh — er — (With  a  nervous 
laugh.)  n-nothing,  of  course,  only  I — I  just  thought 
of  it. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Pointing  to  micro- 
scope) What's  all  this  litter  doing  down  here? 
Why  have  you  brought  them  out  of  the  study? 

ANTHONY.  Oh,  my  study  is  being  turned  out, — 
in  fact,  it's  being  cleaned. 

(MILLICENT  follows  ANTHONY  and  stands  close  to 
R.  of  him.) 


ii2          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Incredulously)  What? 
Your  study  turned  out?  Cleaned? 

ARCHIE.  (Laughing')  Nonsense,  my  dear  fel- 
low, you're  joking. 

ANTHONY.  On  the  contrary,  I'm  quite  unusually 
serious.  (MILLICENT  coughs  loudly  and  nudges 
him,  and  he  takes  a  long  breath.)  Mrs.  O'Mara 
suggested  it.  The  fact  is — I — she — I — (Funking 
again.)  well,  it  was  most  necessary. 

(Enter  PARKER,  L.,  with  evening  papers,  which  he 
places  on  R.  side  of  table.  ANTHONY  sneaks 
round  to  him  and  whispers  excitedly  in  dumb 
show,  and  points  upstairs.  PARKER  nods  and 
goes  solemnly  up  the  staircase.  While  this  is 
going  on,  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  speaks  to 
MILLICENT.  ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHOKPE.  (Advancing  to  c.,  sus- 
piciously) Millicent,  what  has  been  happening  in 
my  absence  ? 

ARCHIE.  (Coming  down  to  R.  of  table  c.)  Yes, 
something's  up.  Out  with  it,  Milly. 

MILLICENT.  (Shrugging  her  shoulders  and  laugh- 
ing) Oh,  you'd  better  ask  Anthony. 

(At  this  moment  ANTHONY  rejoins  them  R.  c.,  near 
MILLICENT.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  Anthony,  I'm  perfectly 
certain,  from  your  manner,  that  you've  something 
to  tell  me. 

(MILLICENT  nudges  ANTHONY  and  coughs.) 

ANTHONY.  (Making  another  effort)  Quite  so — 
quite  so, — I — I  have,  mother;  the  fact  is  I — I— 
(Funking  again.)  er — Saunders  has  given  notice. 
(Looks  round  at  stairs,  anxiously.) 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  113 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Sharply)  That's  not 
what  you  were  going  to  say,  Anthony. 

ANTHONY.  Er — well,  no — not  exactly.  (Laughs 
abruptly  and  nervously.  MILLICENT  nudges  him 
violently,  and  he  takes  another  long  breath.)  No, 
the  fact  is — what  I  really  was  going  to  say,  was  that 
I — I — I  must  go  and  dress  for  dinner.  (Turns 
hastily  to  stairs.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Moves  to  below  c.  of  c. 
table)  Stop!  Anthony,  I  insist  on  knowing  what 
is  going  on. 

(Enter  suddenly  MRS.  O'MARA  on  landing.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Calling  down)  Aw,  could  ye 
wait  just  a  few  moments,  Anthony  darlin'? 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and  ARCHIE  look  up  at  her, 
astounded. ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (With  a  gasp)  What? 
.  .  .  Archie !  What  did  she  say  ? 

ANTHONY.  (Stumbling  up  stage  and  motioning 
-frantically  to  MRS.  O'MARA)  Come  down,  Kitty, 
come  down.  (MRS.  O'MARA  comes  down.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (With  a  cry)  Archie! 
Did  you  hear  ?  He  called  her  "  Kitty."  What  does 
it—  Oh-h-h!  Am  I  going  mad?  (Crossing 
distractedly  L.,  followed  by  ARCHIE.) 

ARCHIE.  (In  an  undertone)  Keep  hold  of  your- 
self, Charlotte.  Dash  it  all,  keep  yer  head. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Turning)  How  can  I? 
(Coming  back  to  chair  L.  C.,  and  speaking  angrily  to 
MRS.  O'MARA,  who  joins  the  group.)  May  I  ask 
what  you  mean  by  addressing  Lord  Crackenthorpe 
in  such  a  manner? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (c.,  turning  to  ANTHONY)  Why, 
sure,  haven't  ye  told  them,  Anthony  darlin'? 


ii4          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY    ACT  in 

ANTHONY.     (Giving  his  abrupt  laugh}     Er — no. 
I   thought  perhaps  you   might   prefer   to — to  — 
(Backing  to  stairs.}     If  you'll  excuse  me,  I  really 
must  go  and  dress  for  dinner.     (Turns  and  shuffles 
hastily  up  the  staircase. } 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Turning  and  calling  after  him} 
Anthony ! 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (With  almost  a  scream} 

Stop!       Anthony,    you     can't    mean (She 

chokes. } 

ANTHONY.  (Standing  and  looking  down  from 
landing}  Yes,  I  do, — really,  er — Kitty  and  I  are — 
(Gives  abrupt  laugh.}  engaged!  (Exits  hastily 
through  door  L.  ) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Furious}  What?  Oh! 
(  Turns  L.  and  drops  on  settee. }  I — I'll  not  allow  it. 
(MILLICENT  crosses  and  stands  above  her,  and 
ARCHIE  below  her;  they  try  to  pacify  her,  as  she 
chokingly  gasps  out.}  It's  preposterous.  I'll  not 
suffer  it.  Go  and  fetch  Anthony  down,  Archie.  I'll 
never  give  my  consent,  I'll Oh,  such  bare- 
faced, underhand 

MILLICENT.  (Trying  to  pacify  her}  Mother, — 
please. 

ARCHIE.  Yes,  dash  it  all,  Charlotte,  do  keep  hold 
of  yourself. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Good-naturedly}  Aw,  don't 
mind  me  now,  Major.  Ut'll  be  a  bit  of  a  surprise, 
ut  was  to  me,  meself,  indeed.  I  know  just  how 
she'll  be  feelin'.  (To  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.) 
Ye'd  best  do  as  I  did  yesterday,  Lady  Cracken- 
thorpe,  just  go  upstairs,  an'  take  off  yer  corsets,  an' 
have  a  good  cry. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     (Indignantly}     Oh-h-h! 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  ye'd  better  now.  Ut's  no 
use  bottlin'  it  up, — a  tear  now  an'  then,  never  does 
annybody  anny  good.  Just  settle  down  to  ut,  and 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  115 

cry  ut  out  av  yer  system,  and  ye'll  find  ye'll  laugh,  at 
ut  all,  in  the  mornin'. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Furiously)  Laugh  at 
it?  (Starting  up.)  Archie,  I — I  won't  suffer  this 
— this  impertinence. 

ARCHIE.  (Protesting)  Here,  that'll  do,  Char- 
lotte   

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Easily)  Aw,  don't  worry, 
Major,  av  course  she'll  be  after  callin'  it  "  im- 
pertinence." Ut's  what  people  always  call  good  ad- 
vice, when  they  know  ut's  true,  and  won't  admit  it. 

(The  dressing-gong  is  heard.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Rising)  Oh-h-h !  (She 
crosses  R.  to  staircase,  haughtily. )  I'm  going,  Milli- 
cent.  (Walks  up  staircase  stiffly.  MILLICENT  lin- 
gers and  looks  doubtfully  from  her  mother  to  MRS. 
O'MARA.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  go  with  yer  mother,  now, 
Miss  Millicent.  (Without  looking  at  LADY  CRACK- 
KNTHORPE,  but  loud  enough  for  her  to  hear.)  I've 
been  in  the  wrong  meself,  an'  I  know  just  how 
she'll  be  feelin'. 

(LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  sweeps  through  archway 
on  landing,  R.,  with  her  head  in  the  air,  and 
MILLICENT  runs  up  staircase  and  exits  after 
her.) 

ARCHIE.  (Feeling  awkward,  looking  at  his 
watch)  Hullo,  by  Jove,  time  I  was  changin'  too,  so, 

if  you'll  excuse  me (Turns  and  mounts  the 

stairs,  after  MILLICENT.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Watching  them  all  depart  one 
after  the  other,  as  ARCHIE  disappears  through  arch- 
way, R.)  Sure,  an'  I  think  I'll  be  joining  the  pro- 
cession, too.  (She  picks  up  her  skirts  and  is  about 


u6          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY    ACT  in 

to  mount  the  stairs,  when  PEGGY  enters  through 
archway  on  landing  L.  She  has  changed  into  a 
pretty  evening  gown.  PEGGY  runs  across  landing, 
runs  down  to  her  mother.}  I  was  just  coming  back, 
Peggy  darlin'.  {Looking  at  her.}  Why,  ye've 
changed  already! 

PEGGY.  Well,  so  would  you,  if  you'd  never  had 
your  frock  off  for  forty-eight  hours.  I  got  to  hate 
the  very  sight  of  it.  I  felt  as  though  I'd  been  born 
in  it.  Hsh !  (A  motor  horn  is  heard  tooting  off  in 
the  distance  and  PEGGY  turns  to  her  mother,  ex- 
citedly.} Mother!  That's  Jack  Menzies's  motor, 
I'm  sure  it  is.  (PEGGY  runs  to  window,  looks  out, 
and  turns.}  Mother! — He's  brought  Jimmy. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Thank  goodness!  Now  ye  can 
get  it  over,  before  he  sees  anybody. 

PEGGY.     (Startled}     Get  it  over? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Yes,  put  it  to  him  and  settle  it, 
while  they're  all  dressin'  for  dinner,  an'  then  we'll 
know  where  we  are. 

PEGGY.  (Getting  flurried}  Good  gracious !  But 
I  didn't  expect  to  have  to  do  it  as  soon  as  this.  I 
begin  to  feel  horribly  nervous.  I'd  no  idea  propos- 
ing was  such  "  jumpy  "  work.  I  don't  wonder  men 
"  shy "  at  it.  Oh !  he's  here !  (She  sits  down 
hastily,  and  ducks  her  head  over  microscope,  and 
MRS.  O'MARA  hurries  up  the  staircase.  The  fold- 
ing doors  are  flung  open,  and  JIMMY  enters  hur- 
riedly, wearing  overcoat  and  cap.} 

JIMMY.  (Looking  round  and  seeing  PEGGY) 
Ah!  You  are  here!  That's  all  right.  (He  turns 
and  runs  out  through  folding  doors  again,  and  his 
voice  is  heard  off.}  It's  all  right,  Jack,  she's  here, 
all  safe.  Good-night. 

(There  is  a  tooting  of  a  motor  heard  off.} 
PEGGY.      (Looking  at  herself,  and  patting  and 


ACT  in    ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY          117 

straightening  herself  and  her  frock,  feverishly) 
Wait  a  bit,  mother.  I  know  I  shall  make  an  awful 
muddle  of  it.  Does  my  hair  look  all  right ?  (Touch- 
ing it  hurriedly.)  Oh,  I'm  perfectly  certain  I  look 
horrid. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Speaking  down  from  balcony) 
Then  go  on  lookin'  horrid.  It  suits  ye.  (PEGGY 
smiles.)  Only  smile  at  him  like  that,  an' 

PEGGY.  (Starting')  Oh!  I  was  forgetting.  I 
mustn't  smile  at  all.  I  must  look  frigid.  Hsh,  he's 
coming  back.  (She  ducks  her  head  down  over 
microscope,  hastily,  and  MRS.  O'MARA  exits  from 
balcony  entrance,  L.  Re'enter  JIMMY.) 

JIMMY.  (Glancing  round}  Oh,  you're  alone? 
That's  all  right.  Why  did  you  rush  off  from  my 
rooms  like  that?  I  hope  to  goodness  you  haven't 
told  them,  here? 

PEGGY.  (Looking  down  microscope,  without 
looking  at  him}  I've  told — mother. 

JIMMY.  (Leaning  over  her  table,  anxiously} 
Yes,  yes — of  course,  but  the  others? 

PEGGY.  (Without  looking  up}  No  one  else 
knows — yet. 

JIMMY.  (Relieved}  That's  all  right.  (Taking 
off  overcoat  and  going  up  with  it  to  table  at  back.} 
But  your  mother  knows  as  much  as  I  do, — eh  ? 

PEGGY.  (Demurely}  Oh,  yes, — (With  a  sudden 
^vicked  smile.}  more! 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down,  a  little  behind,  and  to  L. 
of  her}  Well,  did  she  think  you  ought  to  own  up, 
and  give  yourself  away? 

PEGGY.  (Concealing  her  amusement}  Well,  no, 
that  is — not  just  at  present. 

JIMMY.  I  knew  she  wouldn't.  In  fact,  she 
wouldn't  let  you  tell  the  truth. 

PEGGY.  (Demurely}  Well,  that  was  what  she 
said,  certainly.  (She  takes  another  mischievous 
peep  at  him  as  he  turns  away.} 


ii8          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY    ACT  in 

JIMMY.  (Crossing  L.  to  fireplace,  and  looking 
into  it,  with  his  back  to  her)  Then,  I  suppose 
there's  nothing  for  it  but — silence,  and  Ceylon. 

PEGGY.  (Chuckling  silently  behind  him  and  then 
assuming  her  haughtiest  tone)  I  don't  understand 
you.  I  thought  I'd  made  it  quite  clear  by  my  mes- 
sage through  Mr.  Menzies,  that  I'd  given  up  that 
idea.  I  couldn't  dream  of  allowing  you  to  throw  up 
this  offer  of  his  on  my  account. 

JIMMY.  (Still  looking  into  fire,  with  his  back  to 
her)  Oh,  you  mustn't  consider  me,  you  must  think 
of  yourself. 

PEGGY.     (Smiling  behind  him)     Oh,  I  am  doing. 

JIMMY.  (Turning  sharply)  Eh — how?  (PEGGY 
"  ducks  "  quickly  over  microscope.  JIMMY  crosses 
quickly  and  impatiently  pushes  microscope  aside — 
irritably.)  Oh,  do  let  that  wretched  thing  alone, 
and  listen  to  me.  (Leaning  across  table.)  How?— 
What  do  you  mean  ? 

PEGGY.  (Finding  he  is  getting  awkwardly  near, 
brushes  past  him,  and  coming  down  below  chair, 
and  standing  in  front  of  table,  with  her  back  to  him 
again)  I  mean,  I  couldn't  dream  of  accepting  such 
a  sacrifice  from  any  man, — not  even  from  my  great- 
est enemy. 

JIMMY.  (Wincing  a  little,  and  standing  where 
she  left  him,  behind  her)  I'm  surprised  you  don't 
think  it  right  that  your  "greatest  enemy"  should 
suffer. 

PEGGY.  (Smiling  wickedly — face  to  audience) 
Oh,  I  hope  I'm  not  quite  devoid  of  fairness  and 
generosity. 

JIMMY.  (Shrugging  his  shoulders,  and  crossing 
behind  table  toward  R.)  Well,  then,  seeing  you've 
gone  back  on  that  scheme,  too,  what  are  you  going 
to  do? 

PEGGY.  (Beginning  to  get  nervous')  Well,  as  it's 
all  my  fault,  I  suppose  I  must  suffer  for  it,  so, 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  119 

whether  I  like  it  or  not,  it  seems  I  must  fall  back 
on — on — (Sticks  and  hesitates,}  on — the  other  alter- 
native. 

JIMMY.  (Stopping  dead,  R.  c.,  and  looking  down 
at  her)  What— the  truth? 

PEGGY.  No,  no,  I  mean — (Gets  very  confused 
and  sitting  by  table.)  the — the  other  alternative. 

JIMMY.  (Starting  violently  and  coming  rapidly 
down  R.,  on  a  line  with  PEGGY)  What?  .  .  . 
Peggy ! !  You  can't  mean  you'll  agree  to  marry  me  ? 

PEGGY,     (stiffly)     It  seems  inevitable. 

JIMMY.  (His  face  lighting  up)  Then  you  have 
found  out  your  mistake?  You  do  believe  me? 
You  own  that  you've  been  awfully  rough  on  me? 
(Triumphantly.)  I  knew  you'd  see  that  you  were 
wrong. 

PEGGY.  (Instantly  firing  up  at  this,  starting  up 
and  facing  him)  I  see  nothing  of  the  kind.  I 
haven't  changed  my  opinion  with  regard  to  you — 
(Hastily  correcting  herself.)  er — with  regard  to 
your  horrid  conduct,  in  the  very  least. 

JIMMY.    And  yet  you're  willing  to  marry  me? 

PEGGY.  (Stiffly)  It  seems  the  only  way  of  pre- 
venting other  people  from  suffering  for  my  stupid 
blunder.  I  must  be  the  one  to  suffer,  it's  not  a 
matter  of  choice,  (Loftily.)  I — I  feel  it  is  my  duty 
to  do  this, — whatever  it  may  cost  me. 

(JIMMY  looks  at  her  for  a  moment  in  dead  silence 
without  moving,  and  PEGGY  stares  in  front  of 
her  with  assumed  coldness.) 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  I  hope  you  won't  think  me 
ungracious,  but  I'm  afraid  I  can't  agree  to  such  a 
thing.  (He  turns  R.,  and  goes  up  stage.) 

PEGGY.  (Wheeling  round)  What?  (Stares  at 
him  incredulously.)  You  can't  agree  to  it? 

JIMMY.    No.    After  what  you've  said  I  should  be 


120          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY      ACT  in 

a  cad  if  I  took  advantage  of  such  an  offer.  You 
can't  realize  what  it  means. 

PEGGY.  (Choking  with  indignation)  You — ac- 
tually— refuse  ? 

JIMMY.    I  feel  bound  to. 

PEGGY.  (With  an  angry  cry)  Oh-h-h!  (She 
sits, — with  her  back  to  him.) 

JIMMY.     I  feel  it's  only  fair  to  you. 

PEGGY.  (With  a  savage  laugh)  "Tome!"  Ha, 
ha !  Oh,  you  might  as  well  be  honest  about  it. 

JIMMY.  (Coming  down  L.)  I  don't  understand 
you.  All  I  mean  is,  that  my  losing  a  good  billet,  and 
having  to  go  back  to  Ceylon,  is  child's  play  to  de- 
liberately tying  oneself  up  for  life  to  the  wrong 
person. 

PEGGY.  (Furiously)  Oh,  so  that's  how  you  re- 
gard it? 

JIMMY.  Of  course,  and  it's  how  you  would  re- 
gard it,  afterwards,  from  what  you  say.  (He 
crosses  to  extreme  R.) 

(Enter  R.,  through  archway^  at  head  of  staircase, 
LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  in  a  handsome  evening 
gown,  followed  almost  immediately  by  MAJOR 
ARCHIE  PHIPPS,  also  in  evening  dress.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (As  she  comes  down- 
stairs) Oh,  so  you've  come,  Jimmy?  I  must  say 

I  think  you  might  have (Seeing  PEGGY.  )  Oh, 

you're  here,  too;  Millicent  told  me  you'd  come. 
(To  JIMMY.)  Well,  what  have  you  done  since  we 
saw  you?  (Coming  down  R.  c.,  above  table.) 

JIMMY.     Nothing. 

ARCHIE.  (Down  R.)  Eh — what?  D'ye  mean 
things  are  just  where  they  were? 

JIMMY.     (Shortly)    At  present. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.    But  we  must  know  what 


ACT  in    ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY          121 

to  say  to  people.  This  affair  must  be  settled  one 
way  or  the  other. 

PEGGY.  (Decidedly)  It  is  settled.  (She  turns 
and  walks  between  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE  and 
ARCHIE  to  stairs  and  begins  to  ascend;  they  all  turn 
and  watch  her.) 

ARCHIE.  (Calling  after  her)  Eh^what?  You 
don't  mean  you've  agreed  to  marry  Jimmy,  after  all? 

PEGGY.  (Pausing  on  landing,  and  looking  over 
banisters,  and  speaking  with  biting  sarcasm)  Oh, 
yes,  I've  agreed,  but — Jimmy  prefers  to  go  back  to 
Ceylon.  (She  turns  and  walks  through  archway  L., 
with  her  head  in  the  air,  angrily.) 

JIMMY.  (Standing  thunderstruck  for  a  minute 
and  then  springing  toward  stairs)  What?  .  .  . 
Stop!  .  .  .  Peggy! 

(A  door  bangs  sharply  beyond  archway  on  landing 
off,  and  JIMMY  turns  back  from  stairs,  look- 
ing annoyed  and  baffled.) 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (To  JIMMY)  What 
does  she  mean  ?  Of  course  you're  not  going  back  to 
Ceylon,  now. 

ARCHIE.  No,  dash  it  all,  you'll  never  be  fool 
enough  after  waitin'  so  long  for  this  berth,  to  chuck 
it  up,  now  you've  got  it. 

JIMMY.  I  shall  do  as  I  please,  it's  no  affair  of 
yours. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  But  it  is  of  mine. 
What's  to  become  of  me? 

ARCHIE.  Yes,  dash  it  all,  my  dear  feller,  you 
mustn't  forget  us, — (Hastily  correcting  himself.)  I 
mean, — your  mother. 

JIMMY.  (Looking  at  them  in  surprise)  Why, 
how  on  earth  can  it  affect  either  of  you  ? 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.     Well,  you  must  see  I 


122          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  m 

can't  live  here,  when  once  that  woman  is  Anthony's 
wife. 

ARCHIE.  (Agitatedly)  Of  course  not,  so  where 
the  dooce  are  we  to — I  mean,  where  is  she  to  go? 
You  see,  we — I  mean  your  mother — has  been  lookin' 
to  you  as — well — as 

JIMMY.  A  haven  of  refuge,  what?  (Grimly.) 
H'm,  the  family  red  herring  is  getting  on. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  This  is  no  laughing  mat- 
ter, Jimmy.  You  simply  cannot  go  back  to  Ceylon, 
and  desert  me,  just  to  stop  people's  tongues.  If 
you  won't  marry  this  girl,  the  whole  story  must  be 
contradicted  at  once.  I,  myself,  will  write  to  the 
Morning  Post,  and 

JIMMY.  (Sharply)  You'll  do  nothing  of  the 
kind.  If  you  move  one  step  in  this  affair,  you 
needn't  look  to  me  for  a  "  haven  of  refuge." 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  But  if  you  go  back  to 
Ceylon 

JIMMY.     (Significantly)     I  haven't  gone  yet. 

(MRS.  O'MARA'S  voice  is  heard  off  from  landing.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  let's  give  the  spiders  a  holi- 
day till  to-morrow,  Anthony  darlin' ;  ut's  quite  hun- 
gry I  am,  with  excitement. 

JIMMY.  (Quietly  to  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE) 
Here  comes  your  daughter-in-law,  mater,  and  please 
be  good  enough  to  treat  her  as  one. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  I  shall  treat  her  as  I 
choose. 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  Don't  forget  the  "haven  of 
refuge,"  mater.  You've  had  your  innings,  and  now 
I'm  going  to  see  that  the  other  side  gets  fair  play. 

(MRS.  O'MARA  and  ANTHONY  appear  on  landing, 
both  in  evening  dress.) 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  123 

ANTHONY.  (As  he  comes  down)  Oh,  is  that 
Jimmy  ? 

JIMMY.  (Going  to  meet  him)  Yes,  I  congratu- 
late you,  old  chap.  We  all  do,  Mrs.  O'Mara,  and 
I'm  going  to  take  the  privilege  of  a  future  brother- 
in-law (Approaches  to  kiss  her.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Brother-in-law,  is  ut  ye  call  yer- 
self ,  after  runnin'  away  with  me  only  child  ?  Sure, 
I  wonder  ye  like  to  look  me  in  the  face. 

JIMMY.  I  like  it  so  much,  that  I  feel  I  must 

(Kisses  her.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (With  a  playful  push)  Aw,  get 
along  wid  ye,  and  save  those  for  Peggy. 

ANTHONY.  (Frowning  at  JIMMY)  Exactly. 
That  is  precisely  what  I  was  about  to  suggest. 
(The  dinner  gong  sounds  off  R.,  and  PARKER  enters 
and  opens  door  up  R.)  Ah,  dinner!  (Offers  his 
arm  to  MRS.  O'MARA.)  Shall  we ? 

MRS.  O'MARA.  No,  Anthony,  I  want  ye  to  give 
yer  arm  to — mother! 

(L&DY  CRACKENTHORPE  turns  with  an  angry  ex- 
pression and  is  about  to  speak,  when  JIMMY 
coughs  warningly,  whereupon  she  remains  si- 
lent; ANTHONY  approaches  her  and  sheepishly 
offers  his  arm.) 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  You'd  better  lead  off  with 
Anthony,  mater.  It'll  save  trouble,  now. 

LADY  CRACKENTHORPE.  (Glancing  at  JIMMY  and 
changing  her  expression  and  saying  quite  meekly) 
Oh,  very  well,  Anthony. 

ANTHONY.  (As  he  leads  LADY  CRACKENTHORPE 
up  stage)  We're  quite  a  family  party  to-night, 
mother,  eh?  When  you  think  that  I'm  Jimmy's 
future  father-in-law,  and  Kitty,  sister-in-law  to  her 
own  daughter,  well — (Laughs.)  we  certainly  are 
quite  a  family  party. 


I24          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  m 
(They  go  up  stage  and  off  through  door  R.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.    (To  JIMMY)    Where's  Peggy  ? 

JIMMY.  /'//  wait  for  her.  Uncle  Archie  will  take 
you  in. 

ARCHIE.  Eh — what?  (Catches  JIMMY'S  eye 
fixed  on  him,  and  says  hastily.)  Oh,  by  Jove! 
Ya-as,  delighted.  May  I,  Mrs.  O'Mara?  (Offer- 
ing his  arm.) 

MRS.  O'MARA.  (Smiling  at  him  as  she  takes  his 
arm)  Sure,  me  name's  just  Kitty  to  me  relations. 

ARCHIE.  (Pulling  his  moustache,  fixing  eyeglass 
and  forcing  a  laugh )  Haw,  haw !  Ya-as,  by  Jove ! 
I  keep  forgettin'  we're  goin'  to  be — relations. 

MRS.  O'MARA.  Aw,  but  ye  must  remember  that, 
an'  we'll  forget  everything  else  just- — (She  smiles  at 
him.)  "for  the  good  o'  the  fam'ly." 

ARCHIE.     (Forcing  another  laugh)     Haw,  haw! 

(They  go  up  and  off  through  door  R.) 

JIMMY.  (To  MILLICENT)  Don't  you  wait  for 
me,  Milly.  I  mayn't  come  in  at  all.  I'm  off  to 
town  by  the  nine  train,  and  I  must  see  Peggy  first. 

MILLICENT.  Oh,  all  right.  (Turns  to  go,  and 
then  turns  back  impulsively  and  kisses  JIMMY.) 
Good  luck,  Jimmy. 

JIMMY.    Thanks,  old  girl.    Cut  in. 

(MILLICENT  follows  the  others  through  door  R., 
which  she  closes  after  her.  JIMMY  left  alone, 
looks  up  staircase,  listens,  looks  at  watch  and 
then  walks  c.  He  stands  thinking,  then  lights 
a  cigarette  and  walks  up  stage  still  thinking, 
and  pushes  open  window  under  landing,  and 
leans  out  smoking.  Reenter  PEGGY,  on  land- 
ing, in  hat  and  long  coat,  carrying  letter  in  her 
hand.  She  peeps  over  banister,  but  can't  see 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  125 

JIMMY,  who  is  exactly  beneath  her,  under  the 
landing.  She  then  runs  lightly  down  the  stairs, 
and  at  door  stoops  to  gather  up  her  train,  and  in 
doing  so  she  drops  her  letter.) 

PEGGY.     (To  herself  as  she  drops  letter}     Oh, 
bother  ! 

(  JIMMY  turns  and  sees  her,  and  comes  forward.) 


JIMMY.     (Looking  at  her  hat  and  coat) 

PEGGY.  (Startled  and  confused)  I  —  I  thought 
you  were  in  at  dinner.  I  sent  the  maid  to  tell  you 
all  not  to  wait. 

JIMMY.  Oh,  well,  she  didn't  tell  us,  and  I  did 
wait,  you  see,  and  so  I'm  just  in  time  to  stop  you. 

PEGGY.     Stop  me  ? 

JIMMY.  (Impatiently)  Oh,  it's  plain  enough 
what  you  were  going  to  do.  This  is  sheer  folly, 
Peggy.  To  bolt  in  the  daytime  was  mad  enough, 
but  to  - 

PEGGY.  (With  a  mocking  laugh)  Ha,  ha!  Did 
you  actually  flatter  yourself  that  I  was  running 
away  ?  Ha,  ha,  ha  !  Oh,  no  !  I've  had  quite  enough 
running  away,  thank  you. 

JIMMY.     (Pointing)    Then  why  the  hat  and  coat? 

PEGGY.  I  was  going  to  post  a  letter,  that's  all 
(Stoops  to  pick  up  letter.) 

JIMMY.  Let  me.  (Stoops  quickly  and  picks  up 
letter  for  her,  and  as  he  holds  it  out  his  eyes  catch 
the  address.  He  draws  it  back  and  looks  at  it  and 
reads.)  "The  Morning  Post!"  (Looking  up  at 
her.)  Why  are  you  writing  to  the  Morning  Post  I' 

PEGGY.  (Looking  at  him  straight  in  the  eyes) 
I'm  writing  to  contradict  the  absurd  report  that  I'm 
married  to  you.  (Holding  out  her  hand.)  Give  it 
me,  please. 


126          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  Just  a  moment.  Why  are 
you  doing  this? 

PEGGY.     That's  my  business. 

JIMMY.  Not  if  I  am  the  cause  of  it.  You  never 
thought  of  writing  this  half  an  hour  ago,  or  you 
wouldn't  have  offered  to  marry  me,  so  I  must  be 
the  cause  of  it,  and  I  won't  let  you  do  it.  (Holding 
up  letter.)  What  earthly  good  can  this  do  to  any- 
body? 

PEGGY.  I'm  determined  to  tell  the  truth,  and 
wash  my  hands  of  the  whole  affair,  and  then  (Bit- 
ingly.)  it  won't  be  necessary  for  you  to  go  back  to 
Ceylon,  to  avoid  marrying  me. 

JIMMY.  You  know  that  was  not  my  reason  for 
going  back. 

PEGGY.  I  don't  know  anything  of  the  kind.  I 
only  know  that  you've  behaved  abominably,  and 
I'll  never — never  forgive  you ;  but  I'm  not  going  to 
have  it  on  my  conscience  that  I  was  the  means  of 
driving  you  back  there.  So — so,  give  me  my  letter, 
please. 

JIMMY.     Wait  a  bit. 

PEGGY.  (Holding  out  her  hand)  I  can't  wait. 
It  must  go  to-night. 

JIMMY.    (Quietly)    I  think  not. 

PEGGY.  (Beginning  to  lose  her  temper)  It's  not 
the  least  use  talking, — I'm  determined. 

JIMMY.     So  am  I.     (He  tears  the  letter  in  two.) 

PEGGY.  (  With  an  angry  gasp,  backing  a  little  L.  ) 
Oh !  How  dare  you  treat  my  letter  like  that  ? 

JIMMY.  I'm  not  likely  to  stick  at  trifles,  when 
it's  got  to  this.  (He  tears  it  again.) 

PEGGY.  Oh,  very  well.  I  shall  only  write  an- 
other letter,  that's  all.  (She  turns  to  cross  up  to 
writing-table,  but  JIMMY  stops  her  near  head  of 
settee.) 

JIMMY.    Stop!    (PEGGY  stops  and  looks  at  him.) 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY  127 

Suppose  I  were  to  tell  you,  that,  when  I  came  here 
to-night,  I  never  intended  to  go  back  to  Ceylon. 

PEGGY.  (Staring  at  him,  with  startled  eyes) 

You  never  intended  to (Turning  from  him  L., 

incredulously.}  Oh,  I'll  not  believe  such  a  thing. 

JIMMY.  (Quietly)  It's  a  fact.  Look  here. 
(Takes  a  paper  from  his  breast  pocket  and  holds  it 
out  to  her. )  No,  take  it — look  at  it. 

PEGGY.  (Slowly  takes  paper,  opens  it,  glances 
at  it,  and  looks  puzzled)  A  special  licence!  My 
name ?  (She  looks  up  astonished.) 

JIMMY.  Yes.  That  was  what  I  intended  to  do, 
when  I  came  here  to-night.  (PEGGY  stares  at  him 
bewildered.)  But  when  you  offered  to  marry  me, 
you  showed  so  plainly  how  you  hated  the  idea  of 
such  a  thing,  that  I  saw  I'd  been  mistaken,  and  so 
I  left  that  licence  where  it  was.  (Tapping  his 
pocket.) 

PEGGY.  (Her  temper  rising,  holding  out  the  li- 
cence) But — but  how  dare  you  go  and  get  this,  and 
have  my  name  put  on,  when  I'd  already  refused 
you? 

JIMMY.  (Interrupting)  It  was  after  Jack  Men- 
zies  gave  me  your  message.  I  thought  if  you  were 
willing  to  run  your  head  into  such  a  hornet's  nest 
for  my  sake,  that  you  must  care  for  me.  So  I  went 
out  and  got  that  licence. 

PEGGY.  (Getting  more  angry  every  minute) 
Then  you've  simply  been  making  a  fool  of  me 
again? 

JIMMY.     (Surprised)     No! 

PEGGY.  (Furiously)  Yes,  you  have.  You  stood 
there,  and  let  me  offer  to  marry  you,  and  actually 
humiliated  me  by  daring  to  refuse  me,  and  you  had 
this  (Holding  out  licence.)  in  your  pocket  all  the 
time.  (Choking  with  anger.)  Oh-h-h!  (She  vi- 
ciously tears  the  licence  in  pieces  and  throws  them 
on  floor  in  front  of  her,  then  faces  him.)  There ! 


128          ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY     ACT  in 

JIMMY.  (Quietly,  speaking  with  an  effort) 
Then  that  settles  it.  I  do  go  back  to  Ceylon, — to- 
morrow. (Goes  up  to  writing-table  and  picks  up 
hat  and  coat.) 

PEGGY.  (Down  L.,  face  to  audience,  her  voice 
trembling  a  little)  You — you'll  please  to  under- 
stand that  I'm  going  to  write  that  letter  to  the 
Morning  Post. 

JIMMY.  (Standing  c.,  behind  her,  his  coat  on  his 
arm)  Oh,  no,  you're  not.  You  won't  kick  a  man 
when  he's  down.  I've  been  a  fool.  I've  made  a 
hash  of  things.  You  say  I've  behaved  badly  to  you, 
well,  if  I  have,  you  can't  refuse — in  common  fair- 
ness— to  let  me  try  to  wipe  it  out. 

PEGGY.  (Still  facing  audience)  I  won't  let  you 
lose 

JIMMY.  (Wearily)  Oh,  what  does  it  matter 
what  I  lose,  and  where  I  have  to  go,  so  long  as  I 
have  to  lose  you?  (Comes  down  and  stands  just 
behind  her  right  shoulder,  speaks  gently  from 
there.)  Peggy,  I  know  that  it  doesn't  matter  to 
you,  but  I  never  did  lie  to  you.  I  loved  you  as 
much  on  that  first  day  we  met  as  I  love  you  this 
mintite. 

PEGGY.  (Turning  swiftly  and  looking  at  him, 
with  a  startled  cry  of  amazement')  What  ? 

JIMMY.  (Shrugging  his  shoulders,  wearily) 
Oh,  I  know  you  don't  believe  me,  but  it's  true ; — so 
let  me  feel  I've  done  something  for  you. — Don't 
write  that  letter.  Promise  me. 

PEGGY.  (Looking  away  from  him  again,  her 
voice  shaking)  You — you're  quite  sure  you're  not 
— pretending  ? 

JIMMY.  No,  I'm  going, — now.  (Turns  up  stage 
toward  door  at  back,  when  she  speaks.) 

PEGGY.  (Her  face  suddenly  breaking  into  a  smile 
as  she  brushes  some  tears  from  her  eyes,  and  gasps, 
with  a  choke)  Wait,  don't  be — so  sudden.  (JIMMY 


ACT  in     ALL-OF-A-SUDDEN  PEGGY          129 

turns  and  looks  back  at  her.}  You're  quite  sure 
you're  not — pretending  ? 

JIMMY.     Can't  you  believe  me  yet? 

PEGGY.  (In  a  low  voice)  I — I  want  to,  so — 
(With  a  sudden  smile  and  a  little  choke  in  her 
voice.)  if  you're  ab-so-lutely  sure  you're  not  pre- 
tending, let's  pretend  that  we've  both  been  pretend- 
ing all  the  time,  and — and 

JIMMY.  (Throwing  coat  and  cap  on  nearest 
chair  and  coming  down  to  her,  breathlessly)  What 
—what? 

PEGGY.  (Suddenly  dropping  on  to  her  knees  by 
the  pieces  of  the  torn  licence,  and  looking  up  at  him, 
sideways)  Try  to  stick  this  licence  together  again. 
We — we  may  want  it. 

JIMMY.  (Springing  forward  and  dropping  on  his 
knees  beside  her)  Peggy!  You  can't  mean  you've 
changed  ? 

PEGGY.  (Nodding)  Yes,  it  began  this  afternoon. 
(Picking  up  pieces  of  licence.) 

JIMMY.    You  really  began  to — to  care  for  me? 

PEGGY.     (Softly)     Yes. 

JIMMY.     When? 

PEGGY.  (Half  smiling,  half  crying)  All  of  a 
sudden. 

(He  kisses  her — both  of  them  still  on  their  knees.) 
CURTAIN 


TWEEDLES 

Comedy  in  3  acts,  by  Booth  Tarkington  and  Harry  Leon 
"Wilson.  5  males,  4  females.  1  interior.  Costumes,  modern. 
Plays  2%  hours. 

Julian,  scion  of  the  blue-blooded  Castleburys,  falls  in  love  with 
Winsora  Tweedle,  daughter  of  the  oldest  family  in  a  Maine  village, 
The  Tweedles  esteem  the  name  because  it  has  been  rooted  in 
the  community  for  200  years,  and  they  look  down  on  "summer 
people"  with  the  vigor  that  only  "summer  boarder"  communities 
know. 

The  Castleburys  are  aghast  at  the  possibility  of  a  match,  and. 
cail  on  the  Tweedles  to  urge  how  impossible  such  an  alliance  would, 
be.  Mr.  Castlebury  laboriously  explains  the  barrier  of  social 
caste,  and  the  elder  Tweedle  takes  it  that  these  unimportant 
Bummer  folk  are  terrified  at  the  social  eminence  of  the  Tweedlea. 

Tweedle  generously  agrees  to  co-operate  with  the  Castleburys 
to  prevent  the  match.  But  Winsora  brings  her  father  to  realize 
that  in  reality  the  Castleburys  look  upon  them  as  inferiors.  The 
old  man  is  infuriated,  and  threatens  vengeance,  but  is  checkmated 
when  Julian  unearths  a  number  of  family  skeletons  and  argues 
that  father  isn't  a  Tweedle,  since  the  blood  has  been  so  diluted 
that  little  remains.  Also,  Winsora  takes  the  matter  into  her  own 
hands  and  outfaces  the  old  man.  So  the  youngsters  go  forth 
triumphant.  "Tweedles"  is  Booth  Tarkington  at  his  best. 
(Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price.  75  Cents. 


JUST   SUPPOSE 

A  whimsical  comedy  in  3  acts,  by  A.  E.  Thomas,  author 
of  "Her  Husband's  Wife,"  "Come  Out  of  the  Kitchen," 
etc.  6  males,  2  females.  1  interior,  1  exterior.  Costumes, 
modern.  Plays  2*4  hours. 

It  was  rumored  that  during  his  last  visit  the  Prince  of  Wales 
appeared  for  a  brief  spell  under  an  assumed  name  somewhere  in 
Virginia.  It  is  on  this  story  that  A.  £.  Thomas  based  "Just 
Suppose."  The  theme  is  handled  in  an  original  manner.  Linda 
Lee  Stafford  meets  one  George  Shipley  (in  reality  is  the  Prince 
of  Wales).  It  is  a  case  of  love  at  first  sight,  but,  alas,  princes 
cannot  select  their  mates  and  thereby  hangs  a  tale  which  Mr. 
Thomas  has  woven  with  infinite  charm.  The  atmosphere  of  the 
South  with  its  chivalry  dominates  the  story,  touching  in  its 
eentiment  and  lightened  here  an4  there  with  delightful  comedy. 
"Just  Suppose"  scored  a  big  hit  at  the  Henry  Miller  Theatre, 
New  York,  with  Patricia  Collinge.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.) 

Price,  75  Cents. 


SAMUEL  FRENCH.  23  We»t  45th  Street,  New  York  City 

Out  New  Descriptive  Catalogue  Seat  Free  on  Request 


POLLYANNA 

"The  glad  play,"  in  3  acts.  By  Catherine  Cbisholm 
Gushing.  Based  on  the  novel  by  Eleanor  H.  Porter.  5 
males,  6  females.  2  interiors.  Costumes,  modern.  Playa 
2^4  hours. 

The  story  has  to  do  with  the  experiences  of  an  orphan  girl 
vho  is  thrust,  unwelcome,  into  the  home  of  a  maiden  aunt.  In 
spite  of  the  tribulations  that  beset  her  life  she  manages  to  find 
something  to  be  glad  about,  and  brings  light  into  sunless  lives. 
Finally,  Pollyanna  straightens  out  the  love  affairs  of  her  elders, 
and  last,  but  not  least,  finds  happiness  for  herself  in  the  heart 
cf  Jimmy.  "Pollyanna"  is  a  glad  play  and  one  which  is  bound 
to  give  one  a  better  appreciation  of  people  and  the  world.  It 
reflects  the  humor,  tenderness  and  humanity  that  gave  the  story 
such  wonderful  popularity  among  young  and  old. 

Produced  at  the  Hudson  Theatre,  New  York,  and  for  two  sea- 
sons on  tour,  by  George  C.  Tyler,  with  Helen  Hayes  in  the  part 
of  "Pollyanna."  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents. 


THE   CHARM  SCHOOL 

A  comedy  in  3  acts.  By  Alice  Duer  Miller  and  Robert 
Milton.  6  males,  10  females  (may  be  played  by  5  males 
and  8  females).  Any  number  of  school  girls  may  be  used 
in  the  ensembles.  Scenes,  2  interiors.  Modern  costumes. 
Plays  2V2  hours. 

The  story  of  "The  Charm  School"  is  familiar  to  Mrs.  Miller's 
readers.  It  relates  the  adventures  of  a  handsome  young  auto- 
mobile salesman,  scarcely  out  of  his  'teens,  who,  upon  inheriting 
a  girls'  boarding-school  from  a  maiden  aunt,  insists  on  running  it 
himself,  according  to  his  own  ideas,  chief  of  which  is,  by  the 
way,  that  the  dominant  feature  in  the  education  of  the  young 
girls  of  to-day  should  be  CHARM.  The  situations  that  arise  are 
teeming  with  humor — clean,  wholesome  humor.  In  the  end  the 
young  man  gives  up  the  school,  and  promises  to  wait  until  the 
most  precocious  of  his  pupils  reaches  a  marriageable  age.  The 
play  has  the  freshness  of  youth,  the  inspiration  of  an  extravagant 
fcut  novel  idea,  the  charm  of  originality,  and  the  promise  of  whole- 
some, sanely  amusing,  pleasant  entertainment.  We  strongly  rec- 
ommend it  for  high  school  production.  It  was  first  produced  at 
the  Bijou  Theatre,  New  York,  then  toured  the  country.  Two 
companies  are  now  playing  it  in  England.  (Royalty,  twenty-five 

Price,  75  Cents. 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  23  We»t  43th  Street,  N«w  York  Off 
Our  New  Descriptive  Catalogue  Sent  Free  on  Request 


NOT  SO  LONG  AGO 

Comedy  in  a  Prologue,  3  acts,  and  Epilogue.  By  Arthur 
Riehman.  5  males,  7  females.  2  interiors,  1  exterior. 
Costumes,  1876.  Plays  a  full  evening. 

Arthur  Richman  has  constructed  his  play  around  the  Cinderella 
legend.  The  playwright  has  shown  great'  wisdom  in  his  choice 
of  material,  for  he  has  cleverly  crossed  the  Cinderella  theme 
•with  a  strain  of  Romeo  and  Juliet.  Mr.  Richman  places  hia 
young  lovers  in  the  picturesque  New  York  of  forty  years  ago. 
This  time  Cinderella  is  a  seamstress  in  the  home  of  a  social 
climber,  who  may  have  been  the  first  of  her  kind,  though  we 
doubt  it.  She  is  interested  sentimentally  in  the  son  of  this  house. 
Her  father,  learning  of  her  infatuation  for  the  young  man  without 
learning  also  that  it  is  imaginary  on  the  young  girl's  part,  starts 
out  to  discover  his  intentions.  He  is  a  poor  inventor.  The 
mother  of  the  youth,  ambitious  chiefly  for  her  children,  shud- 
ders at  the  thought  of  marriage  for  her  son  with  a  sewing-girl. 
But  the  Prince  contrives  to  put  the  slipper  on  the  right  foot,  and 
the  end  is  happiness.  The  play  is  quaint  and  agreeable  and  the 
three  acts  are  rich  in  the  charm  of  love  and  youth.  (Royalty, 
twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents. 


THE  LOTTERY  MAN 

Comedy  in  3  acts,  by  Rida  Johnson  Young.  4  males, 
5  females.  3  easy  interiors.  Costumes,  modern.  Playa 
2%  hours. 

In  "The  Lottery  Man"  Rida  Johnson  Young  has  seized  upoa 
a  custom  of  some  newspapers  to  increase  their  circulation  by 
clever  schemes.  Mrs.  Young  has  made  the  central  figure  in  her 
famous  comedy  a  newspaper  reporter,  Jack  Wright.  Wright  owes 
his  employer  money,  and  he  agrees  to  turn  in  one  of  the  most 
sensational  scoops  the  paper  has  ever  known.  His  idea  is  to 
conduct  a  lottery,  with  himself  as  the  prize.  The  lottery  is  an- 
nounced. Thousands  of  old  maids  buy  coupons.  Meantime  Wright 
falls  in  love  with  a  charming  girl.  Naturally  he  fears  that  he 
may  be  won  by  someone  else  and  starts  to  get  as  many  tickets 
as  his  limited  means  will  permit.  Finally  the  last  day  is  an- 
nounced. The  winning  number  is  1323,  and  is  held  by  Lizzie, 
an  old  maid,  in  the  household  of  the  newspaper  owner.  Lizzie 
refuses  to  give  up.  It  is  discovered,  however,  that  she  has  stolen 
the  ticket.  With  this  clue,  the  reporter  threatens  her  with  arrest. 
Of  course  the  coupon  is  surrendered  and  Wright  gets  the  girl  of 
his  choice.  Produced  at  the  Bijou  Theater,  New  York,  with, 
great  success.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents, 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York  City 
Our  New  Descriptive  Catalogue  Sent  Free  on  Request 


ARE  YOU  A 

Farce  in  3   acts.     By  Leo  Ditrichstein.     7  males,   7  f 
males.    Modern  costumes.    Plays  2%  hours.    1  interior. 

"Are  You  a  Mason?"  is  one  of  those  delightful  farces  like 
"Charley's  Aunt"  that  are  always  fresh.  "A  mother  and  a 
daughter,"  says  the  critic  of  the  New  York  Herald,  "had  hus- 
bands who  account  for  absences  from  the  joint  household  on 
frequent  evenings,  falsely  pretending  to  be  Masons.  The  men 
do  not  know  each  other's  duplicity,  and  each  tells  his  wife  of 
having  advanced  to  leadership  in  his  lodge.  The  older  woman 
was  so  well  pleased  with  her  husband's  supposed  distinction  in 
the  order  that  she  made  him  promise  to  put  up  the  name  of  a 
visiting  friend  for  membership.  Further  perplexity  over  the 
principal  liar  arose  when  a  suitor  for  his  second  daughter's  hand 
proved  to  be  a  real  Mason.  ...  To  tell  the  story  of  the  play 
would  require  volumes,  its  complications  are  so  numerous.  It  is 
a  house  of  cards.  One  card  wrongly  placed  and  the  whole  thing 
would  collapse.  But  it  stands,  an  example  of  remarkable  in- 
genuity. You  wonder  at  the  end  of  the  first  act  how  the  fun 
can  be  kept  up  on  such  a  slender  foundation.  But  it  continues 
and  grows  to  the  last  curtain."  One  of  the  most  hilariously 
amusing  farces  ever  written,  especially  suited  to  schools  and 
Masonic  Lodges.  (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  Price,  75  Cents 


KEMPY 

A  delightful  comedy  in  3  acts.  By  J.  C.  Nugent  and 
Elliott  Nugent.  4  males,  4  females.  1  interior  throughout. 
Costumes,  modern.  Plays  2y2  hours. 

No  wonder   "Kempy"  has  been  such  a  tremendous  hit  in  New 
York,   Chicago — wherever   it  has  played.      It   snaps   with   wit  and 
humor    of    the    most    delightful    kind.      It's    electric.     It's    small- 
town folk  perfectly  pictured.     Full  of  types  of  varied  sorts,  each 
one    done    to    a    turn   and   served    with    zestful    sauce.     An    ideal 
entertainment  for  amusement  purposes.     The  story  is  about  a  high- 
falutm'  daughter  who  in  a  fit  of  pique  marries  the  young  plumber- 
ect,    who    comes    to    fix    the    water   pipes,    just    because    ha 
understands"   her,  having  read  her  book  and  having  sworn  to 
trry  the  authoress.     But  in  that  story  lies  all   the  humor  that 
;  the  audience  laughing  every  second  of  every  act.     Of  course 
there  are  lots  of  ramifications,  each  of  which  bears  its  own  brand 
f  laughter-making   potentials.     But   the   plot   and    the   story   are 
the   mam   things.     There   is,   for   instance,    the    work   of   the 
:ompany.     The  fun  growing  out  of  this  family  mixup  is  lively  and 
:lean.     (Royalty,  twenty-five  dollars.)  price,  75  Centft> 

SAMUEL  FRENCH,  25  West  45th  Street,  New  York  City 
Our  New  Descriptive  Catalogue  Sent  Free  on  Request 


FRENCH'S 


Standard  Library  Edition 


George  M.  Cohtn 

Auguitut    ThomM 

Winch.ll  Smith 

William    GillelM 

Fr«nk   Craven 

Owen  Davis 

Austin  Strong 

A.  A.  Milne 

Harriet   Ford 

Paul  Green 

lame*  Montgomery 

Edward   Child*   Carpenter 

Arthur    Richman 

Philip    Barry 

George  Middteton 

Channing  Pollock 

George  Kaufman 

Martin  Flavin 

Victor  Mapes 

Kate  Douglas  Wiggia 

Rida  Johnson  Young 

Margaret    Mayo 

Roi  Cooper  Megrue 

Jean  Web*ter 

George    Broadhurst 

George  Hobart 

Frederick  S.   Isham 

Madeline  Lucette  Ryley 

Fred  Ballard 

Percy  MacKaye 

Willard   Mack 

Jerome  K.   Jerome 

R.  C.  Carton 

Mark    Swan 

Rachel    Crothcj* 

W.  W.  Jacob* 

Ernest  Denny 

Kenyon  Nicholson 

Aaron  Hoffman 

H.  V.  Esmond 

Edgar    Selwyn 

Laurence  Housman 

Israel  Zangwill 

Walter  Hackett 

A.  E.  Thomas 

Edna  Ferber 

Justin  Huntley  McCarthy 
»hn   Henry   Meara 
oho  B.  Stapleton 
rederick  Lonsdale 
Bryon  Ongley 
Rex  Beach 
Paul   Armstrong 


Include*  Plays  by 

George  Kelly 

Booth    Tarkington 

George  Ade 

J.  C.  and   Elliott  Nugent 

J.  Hartley  Manner* 

Barry  Conner* 

Edith  Ellis 

Harold    Brighouse 

Harvey    J.    O'Higgins 

Clare  Kuumier 


James  Forbes 

Williai 


..  ..Ham  C.  DeMille 
Louis   N.   Parker 
Anthony   Hope 
Lewi*    Beach 
Guy  Bolton 
Edward  E.  Rose 
Marc    Connelly 
Frederick  Paulding 
Lynn  Starling 

Josephine   Preston  Peabody 
Catherine    Chisholm    Gushing 
Clyde    Fitch 
Earl  Derr  Bigger* 
Thomas   Broadhurst 
Charles  Klein 
Bayard  Veiller 
C.    Haddon    Chambers 
Richard   Harding   Davis 
Cosmo  Gordon-Lennox 
Grace  L.  Furniss 
Martha   Morton 
Robert  Housum 
Carlisle  Moore 
Salisbury   Field 
Leo    Dietrichtstein 
Harry   James   Smith 
Eden    Phillpotu 
Sir   Arthur   Conan   Doyte 
Brandon  Tynan 
Clayton  Hamilton 
Edward   Sheldon 
Richard    Ganthony 
Jullie    Lippman 
Paul  Dickey 
Frank    Bacon 
Thompson   Buchanan 
Edward    Paulton 
Adelaide    Matthew* 
William  Cary  Duncan 
A.  E.  W.  Mason 
H.  A.  DuSouchet 


French's  International  Copyrighted  Edition  contains  plays, 
comedies  and  faices  o£  international  reputation;  also  recent 
professional  successes  by  famous  American  and  English 
Authors.  Our  new  descriptive  catalogue  sent  free  on  request. 

SAMUEL     FRENCH 

Oldest  Play  Publisher  in  the  World 
25  West  45th  Street,  NEW  YORK  CITY 


